Angry and upset that my family never taught me Mandarin...:( Advice please?

[Kobo-Daishi]

Didn't you go to Chinese school as a kid?

I know these ethnic Chinese people from Vietnam (seems like most of the people from Vietnam here in the states are ethnic Chinese. a lot anyway) and most of them went to Chinese schools as kids. Even though their native dialect/language might be Hakka, Teochew, Minnan, Cantonese, what have you, they'd go to Chinese school and learn Cantonese or Mandarin. Depending on what was offered at a particular school. Those were the only two dialect/languages they had at these schools, I've been told.

When I was in high school I took Mandarin. In those days it was rare in America but the high school I went to also served the Chinatown community so they had Mandarin on offer.

I remember all the Chinese kids taking the course to get an easy A.

I guess it's the same with Jewish kids and Hebrew school.

I think Irish kids go to these cultural schools where they learn Celtic dancing and stuff. I saw an ad once.

I remember a Mike Meyers movie where he played a Scots guy in Canada and they wore kilts and did bagpipes and the like. Novo Scotia=New Scotland so I guess it kind of figures.

Knowing some Hakka should make it easier for you to learn Mandarin since a lot of vocabulary is shared among the dialect/languages.

[Daniw de Leon]

I have recently picked up a book with a CD - and am struggling with the learning. I hope that in time, I am able to have some basic Mandarin language skills. What is moreso frustrating for me, is that my family refuses to speak to me in Mandarin and thinks it is funny that I plan to invest so much time and money into learning.

I know you're frustrated and eager to learn, but be patient. I'm confident that you will learn, but learning any language takes time. I don't have the same background but I had the same frustration of knowing only 2 languages, my native language (Filipino) and English. However, I knew from the beginning of my Chinese learning journey that I was in it for the long haul. With that mindset, I learned and progressed over time but I didn't feel much frustration since I had a plan that spanned years.

[Meng Lelan]

guess it's the same with Jewish kids and Hebrew school.

Right, there are Jewish children who go to Hebrew school, some like it and some don't. There are also Greek schools for children who attend Greek Orthodox churches in the US.

[David Wong]

For what it's worth, my daughter's probably resenting me now for making her go to Chinese school. You can't win sometimes.

[jbradfor]

Regarding language schools in Beijing, there are plenty of one year university courses that are reasonably priced (~$3000 USD for two terms, some higher some lower).

Where?? I have been searching on several sites, and many of them want $20,000 for two terms.

If anyone could give some names of schools that have a good reputation - please share.

I think this question got missed (post #15), as it showed up after a bunch of other posts.... anyone can help?

[roddy]

It's better off in its own topic, which I've already suggested the OP start . . .

[xiaotao]

My brother knows Chinese but never thought it was important to teach his kids. His son wanted to very much learn Chinese when he was in high school but he changed his mind after a semester. If I were in your shoes I would start off by taking a class locally and if that's not convenient, I would look for a tutor. I would take a trip to China and if I was still very interested, then maybe I would consider going to China to study. I personally believe that you would get more, it you reached intermediate level before going abroad. You can do things differently when you are a parent by having your kid attend a Chinese immersion program. I know a parent who moved across the country to have her kid attend such a school.

[Meng Lelan]

For what it's worth, my daughter's probably resenting me now for making her go to Chinese school. You can't win sometimes.

David Wong, as a parent you have to do what you feel is the right parental thing to do. Sometimes the child won't like what you are doing and sometimes even grandparents or other relatives don't like what you are doing, but you have to just go ahead and do what you have to do. Been there, done that.

[imron]

You can't win sometimes.

You might see if there are other ways to encourage a natural interest in learning Chinese. Either through reading her stories, getting her to watch Chinese cartoons and TV shows and so on. It's all about perspective. Being made to go to Chinese school for several hours on the weekend feels like punishment. Watching several hours of cartoons on the weekend in Chinese feels like fun. Then just get her to spend a few minutes per day practicing some new characters she heard in the cartoon shows or whatever. 3 new characters a day = 3,285 characters over 3 years, and I guarantee if you do this and encourage her to be doing reading in Chinese (by providing interesting, age appropriate content in Chinese) she'll have a better level than attending Chinese weekend school for 3 years.

[CDN Chinese Gal]

When I was younger, I was bullied for being Chinese and now I'm being humiliated and shamed for not being Chinese enough.

I feel so awful.

[CDN Chinese Gal]

I just got made fun of and laughed at for not knowing from someone I thought was a friend...I explained it as you guys had worded it, but no, it didn't help.

[carlo]

I doubt this has much to do with "being Chinese". Whenever you are “different”, someone somewhere will try to turn that against you. It doesn’t matter much what you do or don’t do about it, and it doesn’t make you a better or worse human being. It’s a fact of life, like rain, death and taxes.

[David Wong]

Great suggestion imron, and I've been doing that. Thank goodness for youtube and “喜羊羊与灰太狼”。Both of us enjoy that show, even though I find myself challenged and reaching for the dictionary a few times per episode.

@CDN Chinese Gal, try not to let it get to you. Accept the fact that some people can be prejudiced in their views, and the prejudice stings even more when it's unexpected and when it comes from someone with whom you have something in common.

[roddy]

I just got made fun of and laughed at for not knowing from someone I thought was a friend...I explained it as you guys had worded it, but no, it didn't help

Seriously, make new friends. Anyone who makes fun of you today for not speaking Chinese is just as likely to make fun of you in two years for not speaking enough Chinese.

Then decide if you actually want to learn Chinese, or if you're doing it because of peer / family / self-imposed pressure. Because if you don't really, personally, want to do it, your motivation won't last long.

[Mark Yong]

imron’s (et al) suggestion is something that, from my own personal experience and observation of others, does work. Watch as much Chinese language programmes as possible. TV serials can be a really fun and addictive way to listen to the language in action, and a great supplement to add some pleasure in learning the language, rather than just a classroom-only learning envrionment.

Find a serial with a storyline that you reckon would interest you (ask around to get recommendations), loan it from your local Chinese video shop, and watch it end-to-end. Choose something of reasonable length - say, about 20 episodes. Since you are picking up the language from scratch, you might want to avoid the period costume dramas, as those tend to employ much older and formal Chinese, which would be too heavy for you at this stage.

If reading is also your objective, then I would further recommend that whatever version of TV series you watch should come with subtitles not just in English, but also in Chinese. It is quite amazing how the mind can subconsciously absorb the characters (obviously not all, but some) as they run across the screen. The great part about videos is that you can scroll back and re-watch any part of the dialogue that you did not quite catch. That said, learning to read is quite a different animal, and warrants a separate approach.

[creamyhorror]

I just got made fun of and laughed at for not knowing from someone I thought was a friend...I explained it as you guys had worded it, but no, it didn't help.

That person is just being a jerk, so you should downgrade your opinion of him/her accordingly and let him/her know you don't think very much of the insult. Keep away from people who diss you for the fun of it - it's for your own mental health and well-being. I feel genuinely sorry that you have to deal which such idiots.

Imron's post is so correct - make new friends, because friends who consistently make fun of you for something aren't very good friends at all, and they'll keep doing it even when your situation has changed.

And don't learn Chinese just out of peer pressure. That's not enough of a motivation, and probably won't feel as fulfilling as wanting to do it out of pure interest in the culture. Don't feel ashamed that you don't know Mandarin/Canto - you know Hakka, you grew up in the culture, you're Chinese, and anyone who laughs at you just needs to be told that matter-of-factly. And then if they still laugh, they can piss off. Don't worry, reasonable people everywhere are with you on this.