Going to the toilet Expressions

[pprendeville]

been staying with a Chinese friend the last few days and he asked me what words do English speaking people use to say 拉屎 (tried to write la1 ba3ba1 but software doesn't have the ba3ba character)? i'm trying to teach him polite words but can only think of 2 (number 2 and bowel movement). he is under the impression there is a universal description among all native English speakers for it. i suppose bowel movement would be the universal term?

[Glenn]

Take a crap?

[abcdefg]

Different levels of politeness; plus different settings dictate different terms. What is said in a medical setting would be different from polite vernacular, and that would of course be different from what one might use in a vulgar joke. I think that's true in Chinese as well.

[Glenn]

Well, if he's going for commonly used words that aren't too obscene, I think "take a crap" is as good as you're going to get. "Defacate" and "have a bowel movement" are a bit medical, and "go number two" is a bit too colloquial, I think. Maybe "take a dump" would work as well, although it's probably a rung down from "take a crap". Or maybe it's just me who feels that way. I don't know. It's kind of a strange thing to be talking about, so the more I say about this topic the weirder I feel about all of those expressions. I think maybe "polite" isn't the right word, as this probably won't be coming up in polite company anyway.

[li3wei1]

If I want to be polite, I say 'use the toilet'. Any further specificity is unnecessary, and not polite, nor would any curiosity from the person I'm speaking to. On the rare occasions when different facilities are available, then 'number 1' and 'number 2' are used.

[tooironic]

Personally I'd opt for "number one" (小號) or "number two" (大號), if pressed. But @li3wei1 is right, there isn't really a "polite" way of saying you are going to do a crap in English. In Australia and the UK "I'm going to the loo" is the common expression, as "toilet" is often considered too direct, and "bathroom" an Americanism.

[tooironic]

One more thing, went I first started learning Mandarin I learnt the phrase 我去方便 ("I'm off to relieve myself") as a polite way of saying I'm off to the loo. Later I found out that expression is a bit old-fashioned, in the same vein as 我失陪了 ("I shall take my leave"). In my experience since I've noticed that 我上個廁所 to be the most common phrase used.

[陳德聰]

I must abort my food baby, where is the nearest washroom?

[pprendeville]

thanks guys. i find almost no topic is off limits with Chinese, and there's not much that's too rude once you know the person well enough. actually another one is "i must go to the jaxx". the whole conversation came about as said friend is suffering from constipation recently and he has some unusual methods for overcoming it (4 bananas for breakfast followed by brisk walking in the room).

[imron]

Should have just given him some 鱼香肉丝

[pprendeville]

exactly.

[giraffe]

"I have to drop the kids off at the pool."

[frankwall]

"I'm heading to the bog".

[liuzhou]

Got to see a man about a dog.

[WestTexas]

"I have to drop the kids off at the pool."

I wanted to be the person to post this one!

As a joke, sometimes I say "I have an important business meeting." I use this in a situation where it's obvious that I don't have an important business meeting, such as when I am at a bar or in the park or something.

This is definitely an area of cultural difference between the Chinese and Americans.It's not as weird for them to talk about bodily functions. I remember in one of my classes, a student named Sara was absent. Sara was incredibly pretty. I asked the class why she was absent and one of the boys said, "She has diarrhea." Not a good image. A worse one was when I asked why a girl was absent in a different class and got "She's menstruating."

[muirm]

I was tickled recently when I came across 出恭, meaning to go number two. Anyone know if this term is still used today for joking around?

Don't forget "Pinch a loaf".

[tooironic]

@WestTexas So true. The amount of times I've been told my a Chinese friend or colleague "I can't come today I'm on my period"... not saying it's a bad thing, just something I'd totally never expect from my Australian female friends. I imagine they make some other kind of excuse when in a similar situation. And then there's the whole "I'm going to 拉屎..." thing which takes some getting used to. I'm the kind of person who won't even say toilet in conversation, opting instead for the euphemism "loo" or whatnot.

[liuzhou]

I remember being somewhat taken aback when I visited a public convenience in Shanghai 15 years ago. The man collecting the small fee involved demanded to know if I wished 小便 or 大便.

The latter was more expensive!

[Brian US]

I find 我去洗手 as the most nondirect or lady like to say it. I personally say "I'm gonna hit the pisser" after a few drinks.

[xiaocai]

Back in high school, girls who were on their period would be exempted from PE classes and would have the pleasure of sitting down and resting in the middle of the 操场 where the whole school could see while everyone else exercising. No one seemed to be embarrassed at all.

I was tickled recently when I came across 出恭, meaning to go number two. Anyone know if this term is still used today for joking around?

Yes, it is.

I normally say 我去一下洗手间.