Arraigned marriage in China today.

[wenjing*girl]

Do you arraigned marriage happenes alot in China today?

When I lived in Hainan a few years back, I knew of more than one instance where this went on.

A girl that I know was forced by her parents to marry a certain boy. This boy was getting older and wanted to get married. He talked to his parents about trying to work it out with the girl's parents that he could marry her.

His parents went to the gir's parents and talked to them about this. They couldn't really say "no" because the two familys had a long relationship....and the boy's parents had loaned them money in the past. So....they talked to their daughter and told her that she basically had to do this. Of course she did it.

I've heard of things like this happening before. I wonder if it goes on in other parts of China.

[Tsunku]

These marriages aren't exactly arranged, but often parents will set up two young people. My friend is almost 25 and unmarried, and her parents often want to introduce her to eligible guys in hopes of a match. Ultimately, the two young people usually have the choice whether to marry or not, even if the parents are pushy.

A lot of young Chinese will accept this kind of behavior from their families because they have very pragmatic ideas about marriage. Once you are of a certain age, it is time to get married, plain and simple. Even if you haven't found the love of your life, you might find someone you know you can get along with and make a match. Guys have more choices, but for girls, there is definitly a pressure. I've heard from many many Chinese friends that an unmarried girl over 25 is pretty much an old maid, and her chances of finding a husband start to deminish. Most parents want to see their kids married, as marriage is happiness here in China. Not getting married simply isn't an attractive option.

However, I think that this kind of thinking is on the decline. Divorce is becoming more commonplace and acceptable, which creates a whole lot of older single women who are thrown back into the dating scene, so being older and unmarried is getting to be less of a stigma. Maybe Chinese parents and society will lay off the pressure on kids to get married and realize that finding a man isn't the be all end all of a woman's existance.