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Piss on my head and tell me it's raining


vellocet

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What's a translation for "don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining!" Purpose: I have been looking for a new apartment and these agents tell me all sorts of ridiculous stories in utter pathetic attempts to get me to rent an entirely unsuitable apartment. "Oh, that moldy fridge? Just give it a rub with a washcloth and it'll be fine! It won't stink permanently or anything!" I need to shut them down. If it's a chengyu that's fine, if it's a sentence that's fine too, anything but a literal translation.

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