Please grammar check my birthday card/letter?

[J.A.]

Hello, can you help me out with a birthday letter I want to send to my cousin. I struggle mostly with the phrasing. Thank you for your time.

妹妹,

我祝你在这特别的一天开心幸福，十七岁生日快乐！吹拉祖和吃蛋糕了没有？

我真不相信你已经17岁了，时间如此之快。(I can’t believe you are already 17, time goes by so fast.)

我希望在这个新的一年，你会达到你所有的愿望和目标. (I hope for this new year you’ll reach all the goals and wishes you have.)

我知道学习一直很辛苦，寻找平衡在学校和生活之间一定不容易. (I know studying has been constantly hard and finding a balance between school and private live is certainly not easy)

// now here comes the part where I need a lot of input, everything I've tried doesn't sound right in Chinese//

But I’m confident you can do it. And if you've already found your balance, I congratulate you. It took me quite a long time.

There is a piece of advice I received that helped me greatly: “Study broadly and without fear.”. I hope it will be helpful to you, too.

[Arreat]

妹妹, (Here you can call her name~ 妹妹 is wired..)

我祝你在这特别的一天开心幸福，十七岁生日快乐！吹拉祖蜡烛和吃蛋糕了没有？

我真不相信不敢相信你已经17岁了，时间过得如此之快。(I can’t believe you are already 17, time goes by so fast.)

我希望在这个新的一年里，你会达到能达成你所有的愿望和目标. (I hope for this new year you’ll reach all the goals and wishes you have.)

我知道学习一直都很辛苦，寻找平衡在学校和生活之间一定不容易想要在学校和生活之间寻找平衡一定不容易. (I know studying has been constantly hard and finding a balance between school and private live is certainly not easy)

But I’m confident you can do it. And if you've already found your balance, I congratulate you.

但是我相信你一定能够做到。如果你已经在这两者之间找到了平衡，那么祝贺你。

It took me quite a long time.

我可是花了很长的时间才能做到的呀。

There is a piece of advice I received that helped me greatly: “Study broadly and without fear.”. I hope it will be helpful to you, too.

我曾经收到过一个对我非常有帮助的建议：广泛地学习，不要有任何畏惧(I'm unsure of this.)。我希望这也能够帮到你。

Hey! You are pretty good! Hope this may help you! 我的水平有限，只能做到这个程度啦！

[daofeishi]

特别的一天 sounds to me like a strange/odd/unique day. Consider 特殊的日子, maybe?

In terms of collocations, you would talk about 达到目标, but 实现愿望.

寻找平衡在学校和生活之间一定不容易 is following English sentence structure, and is not quite how I would phrase it. Consider something like 合理安排学习和休息，做到劳逸结合实在不容易

[skylee]

If the recipient is a younger cousin who is a daughter of your parents' sibilings, consider using 表妹 or 堂妹 (daughter of your father's brother, with the same surname as yours usually) instead of 妹妹.

[daofeishi]

But I’m confident you can do it. And if you've already found your balance, I congratulate you. It took me quite a long time.

我相信你能做到。如果已经成功地把学习和休息合理结合起来，那我就佩服你了。我花了好长时间才能做到。

There is a piece of advice I received that helped me greatly: “Study broadly and without fear.”. I hope it will be helpful to you, too.

有一句名话对我帮助很大，就是“博学而勇往直前”， 我希望这句话也对你有所帮助

[skylee]

“博学而勇往直前”

This is not very good IMO. I think Arreat's version is better.

[daofeishi]

This is not very good IMO

What is the problem with it?

[skylee]

My interpretation - Study broadly and without fear = study broadly and study without fear

In 博学而勇往直前, 勇往直前 does not necessarily refer to study. It may refer to an attitude towards everything in life including study.

In Arreat's version 广泛地学习，不要有任何畏惧, my interpretation is that 不要有任何畏惧 refers to 学习, thus in my view more appropriately reflecting the original sentence's meaning.

[daofeishi]

In 博学而勇往直前, 勇往直前 does not necessarily refer to study. It may refer to an attitude towards everything in life including study.

Yes, it can be interpreted, but is that a problem? It can also be interpreted as "study widely, and (in doing so) progress bravely", right? 勇往直前 has the added bonus of being a phrase people know and can relate to, which itself is a good reason to use it. I don't quite see the connection between 畏惧 and 学习. When would you feel 畏惧 as a result of 学习?

[skylee]

That is my opinion. You can of course have your own opinion too.

But don't use a 成語 just because there is one.

As to fear vs study, I can think of a few instances where study can involve fear. For example if you want to study music or cooking, and everyone is against it, and your family threatens to disown you if you insist, there might be fear. Or when you have discovered that the earth is round, and your church says otherwise, there might be fear too.

[Arreat]

It can also be interpreted as "study widely, and (in doing so) progress bravely"

Hi, I think the problem is the "also". 博学而勇往直前 can also mean several other meanings.

博学 is kind of Classical Chinese which in mordern Chinese usually means know a lot. That's

why Chinese use 博士 to call PhD. Because most PhDs know a lot of things. haha

I was unsure of interpretation of the advice too. If we use 博学而勇往直前, it may change the exact

meaning of the original. But what I have used also sounds wired to me too. I must say that there is

a gap between different languages. Though I don't think this is important to op. And op can choose

whichever he thinks is better.

[daofeishi]

As to fear vs study, I can think of a few instances where study can involve fear. For example if you want to study music or cooking, and everyone is against it, and your family threatens to disown you if you insist, there might be fear. Or when you have discovered that the earth is round, and your church says otherwise, there might be fear too.

That is the kind of fear I thought about when I read 畏惧 as well, but I interpret the original statement as "study many different things, and don't be deterred by any inhibitions that might make you wary of learning something new", which is why I chose something based on studying bravely. Also, to me, 博学而勇往直前 sounded a bit more natural than 广泛地学习，不要有任何畏惧, but I am not sure if that is accurate?

But don't use a 成語 just because there is one.

I agree. I was just trying to avoid the opposite problem: Translating something so literally that it does not sound natural in the target language.

I was unsure of interpretation of the advice too. If we use 博学而勇往直前, it may change the exact

meaning of the original.

Yes, it probably changes it a bit. I often think that it is also important to focus on the translation sounding as good and natural in the target language as possible, and sometimes slight sacrifices in content have to be made in order to get something that functions the same way. That is where it is important to strike the right balance. I am not sure what is the most important to the op, that there is a phrase on the card that literally says "study many things and study without feeling fear", or that there is a phrase that maybe deviates a bit from that, but sounds more natural in the target language and is there to inspire further studying.

[Arreat]

hmm...@daofeishi In fact, 博学而勇往直前 is not natural to me too.....How about this: 广泛地学习各种各样的知识和技能，不要对学习过程中可能或已经遇到的任何困难感到畏惧。Damn it. Could anybody make it more elegant and simple? Sometimes I really don't like Chinese language!

that there is a phrase on the card that literally says

And what do you mean by "on the card"? I've googled it, and I got the phrase "on the cards" which means probable. Do you mean "on the cards"?

I'm sorry. Is it appropriate to ask questions about English? If not, then do you know where I can find a ENGLISH-FORUMS.COM like this site? Thanks!

[daofeishi]

广泛地学习各种各样的知识和技能，不要对学习过程中可能或已经遇到的任何困难感到畏惧

And what do you mean by "on the card"?

Since J.A. is writing a birthday card, I was talking about what he writes on the birthday card

[Arreat]

Since J.A. is writing a birthday card, I was talking about what he writes on the birthday card

囧rz......

[imron]

“Study broadly and without fear.”

How about something like

多学新东西。不怕学不好，就怕不肯学。

[skylee]

Not bad.

[dwq]

博学 sounds more like an adjective nowadays (maybe it's just me). I'd try 多學習 though 多 could be ambiguous whether it is quantity or breadth.

My take:

廣於學習，無懼學習

多學，大膽學

BTW, 博学無懼 sounds good for a tapestry

[skylee]

I agree with #18. I was just going to add that 博學 is an adjective. It describes the state of being veryy knowledgeable, not the process/action to achieve that state.

[J.A.]

Hi guys, wow thanks for the many responses. I am going to work my way through them. I'm a little bit slow. But really, thank you for the tips and replies, especially for "study broadly and without fear". You are all right it can mean many things, and the fact that it is open for interpretation makes it great to read all your takes on it.