Chinese Fiance...

[mmcsta1]

I am interested in going to China to teach English. I had met a wonderful girl almost a year ago online, and intend to marry her(we had finally met about three months ago). My question is when I have an interview with a potential employer, should I mention this? Do you think it would hurt, or help my chances of securing a job? My first thought was that this may help my chances as the employer would see just how serious I am about about being in China, but I am not sure how an employer would see this situation.Does anyone have any thoughts, or has anyone been through this kind of situation before?

[anonymoose]

I don't think an employer would really care. If you've got the right qualifications and attitude, you'll have no problem finding a job. Even if you don't, you can still find a job.

[smurese]

Yes, "you can still find a job", but SHOULD you mention your romantic relationship with a Chinese girl, in a job interview with the Chinese boss of a language school? Here is an opposite viewpoint:

It can HURT - yes, HINDER your "chances of securing a job". Chinese often see the world as full of troublesome "máfan", present as well as potential. They act to avoid it (for example, thinking twice or being reluctant to offer help where there is no self advantage). In a Chinese school boss's view, it is best if the foreign teacher concentrates on teaching his classes. A romance in China might seem to be a potentially dangerous source of future "máfan", let alone a distraction from the teacher's mission of concentrating on the school. I guess it's open for others to argue against the view I've presented here.

Maybe this effect is not restricted to China. Perhaps if you think of someone running a Chinese language school in the West interviewing a Chinese teacher who states in the job interview that they met a local girl over the Internet three months ago and would like to marry her - would that western boss also have alarm bells ring in his head, or would he think of "how serious you are about about being in" that country? Would he prefer someone totally single, someone who kept their romantic activities back in their home country? I think it's useful to think in this way, by putting the shoe on the other foot.

After you are employed and more familiar and comfortable with the personality of your boss, then you can think again about the way in which you might introduce, or not introduce, the news to him. (Maybe by that time you could invite the boss to the wedding! That would show respect; and actual marriages seem more stable than potential ones, right?)

[mmcsta1]

Thanks for the replies,...I really appreciate the responses! Smurese, I see your point.

[liuzhou]

I am wondering if you are really interested in coming to China primarily to teach English or to be with this girl. I don't know.

But any decent potential employer is likely to wonder, too.

I wouldn't mention it.

My first thought was that this may help my chances as the employer would see just how serious I am about about being in China

He or she is more likely to think "Oh No! Another young male foreigner coming to China to have sex with Chinese girls." I do not mean any disrespect to your fiancée. But the employer is unlikely to see it as a sign of seriousness; rather the opposite.

Apologies if that sounds harsh or crude, but that's the way it works. I have come across several colleges and schools which have a definite policy of not employing young single men. It isn't new. I first encountered it in 1996.

Smurese's last paragraph makes a lot of sense.

If you really want to be serious about teaching, show that instead.

There will always be unscrupulous employers who don't care. I suggest there are not the best people to work for.

(Now I sit back and wait for the usual suspects to turn up.)