Work Culture in China - the social side

[count_zero]

It's a difficult question. Personally, I don't like social events. I really don't like social events where there's no actual purpose and social events with people from work where there's no set purpose? I'd rather chop my jj off and throw it in the river than attend. On the other hand, who wants their career to go nowhere?

It's one of those situations in life where you have to decide if you want to go with the flow or do things your own way. There's a book about introvert/extrovert behaviour called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain that might help you understand different people's approach to social behaviour. As an example, if you've not been hanging around with work colleagues or you find it hard to communicate with them face-to-face why not add them on Weibo and comment on a couple of posts? Social media is almost purpose built for introvert personality types and there's the added benefit that you can easily copy and paste text into an online dictionary to aid your reading and writing. My Chinese collegues acted like I'd cured cancer when they found out I was posting on Weibo in Chinese.

As for those events that you simply can't avoid you know Chinese people don't necessarily like them either. I've noticed they often turn up early and with an excuse already prepared. So if the event is starting at 6 they will literally arrive at 6.00 on the dot, tell people they are worried their flatmate has lost their key, eat all the food, laugh at everyone's jokes then oh, look, a text message from my flatmate - he can't get in. Out the door by 7.30.

[count_zero]

Actually, I would recommend that book for people living in China. It has quite a bit about how Asian societies celebrate introvert behaviour (despite strong evidence in China that the opposite is also true). A line from the book: “Westerners value boldness and verbal skill, traits that promote individuality, while Asians prize quiet, humility, and sensitivity, which foster group cohesion.”

Talking it over with a Chinese friend of mine she told me that no matter how much some blowhards rattle on and on in meetings it can go across well if you remain quiet - it's seen as a sign of intelligence and prudence. I believe there is a Chinese saying about empty bottle making more noise. Also, in the west or the east I think there's a lot to be said for not giving your opinion unless it's asked for. You can end up inadvertently offending someone even if you are right - if not especially if you are right!

A bit off topic, but it's an interesting subject nevertheless.

[cui ruide]

@count_zero Very interesting about that book. I read a write-up about it not too long ago, and I found it very relatable since I'm very much an introvert. As a child I was very shy, but eventually developed a more gregarious outward personality, but I'm very much the type of person that needs stints of time alone to recharge.

As for the relation of introverts to China... On one hand, I feel it's very much a part of the northern Chinese machismo to be extroverted, but I would probably agree that introverted, quiet behavior is praised all around. While I'm sure my spoken Chinese suffers as a result, my natural introvertedness allows me to observe and listen when I'm surrounded by Chinese coworkers or friends. My best Chinese friends noticed this about me immediately, and later, one of them said he could tell I was a deeper person than most laowai they met at bars because of it (his words). I would also say it's definitely good to wait until your opinion is asked for and until you have a firm grasp of social dynamics and project details... I feel like I have sometimes jumped in to try to offer an opinion or insight, only to realize that I just completely mistook the meaning of the conversation (lingusitic problem), leading me to say something not really relevant to what was being discussed. Thankfully, Chinese custom dictated my friends not really comment on my shortcomings and they went right back to their conversation, haha.

[count_zero]

Get the book, man. After 276 pages you'll look back on your life and understand the people you've met a bit better.

I picked up my copy at the XInhua bookstore at Beijing's The Place. It has a reasonable non-fiction section - I also got Nudge and The Art of Immersion there.