Homework correction help.

[lily.star]

Could someone please help me corrcting my homeworks?

将罗马和另外一个你熟悉的城市做一个简短比

我是罗马人，我一直住在罗马了。我最好的朋友也是罗马人，可是现在他在米兰学习，所以有时我去米栏看他。罗马根米兰真不一样。米兰在伦巴第大区, 罗马在拉齐奥大区. 米兰是北方的大工业城市，在意大利北方比南方富的。米兰是意大利的经济中心。不过，罗马是意大利的首都，也是意大利的政治和文化中心。跟米兰相比，罗马有悠久的历史,所以 罗马 的 古迹 比 米兰 的多了。 米兰比罗马更现代，也是一个优雅的城市 , 有很多名牌衣服 的商店 ， 常常有时装秀，所以我们可以说 米兰 是意大利的时尚之都 。 罗马反而很可能是意大利的艺术之都，在这个城市有很有名的广场、喷泉、还有大量的著名雕塑和绘画作品。罗马每年吸引很多人来游览了。

气候也不一样：在米兰常常天阴了，在罗马天气常

常好了。罗马冬天没有米兰冬天冷。

罗马交通跟米兰交通一样不好，常常 堵车。 我的朋友告诉我罗马人比米兰人热情，罗马跟米兰比，她更喜欢罗马。我也觉得米兰不如罗马。

[skylee]

我也觉得米兰不如罗马。

I agree!

I can understand your writing. It is not bad, but I am sure others will point out what needs to be amended.

One thing you must figure out is the use of 了. All the 了 in your passages are wrong.

[陳德聰]

http://www.italki.com/ is a great place to post up your work and have people correct it.

[imron]

So is http://lang-8.com

[Scoobyqueen]

What is your level? What do you want corrected - just grammar, mistakes, style (书面语) or do you want the piece to sound more eloquent? If this is homework obviously you would want it be presented at a credible level.

This is your first post. A few background pointers about yourself would be helpful and may prompt a good response rate. And a "thank you in advance" would not go amiss either.

Having said that, consider using 不仅。。而且 where appropriate.

it looks like your teacher has asked you to use comparisons. Check what he said about a 比 b and make sure you get that right. Potentially too many 我，常常,

[skylee]

I geniunely thought you would get warmer replies. If you like, you could consider my amendments below (took about 10 mins of my lunch time to do it ).

Plus, I am not sure if 大区 is the proper translation. I think usually they are translated as 州/ 省/ 府 etc. But if it is proper then no problem.

PS - Also, is your best friend a 他 (first paragraph) or a 她 (last paragraph)?

将罗马和另外一个你熟悉的城市做一个简短比较

我是罗马人，自幼一直住在罗马。我最好的朋友也是罗马人，可是现在他在米兰念书，有时我会去米兰看他，所以对米兰也很熟悉。

罗马跟米兰真不一样。米兰在伦巴第大区, 罗马在拉齐奥大区。意大利北方比南方富有，米兰是北方的工业重镇，也是意大利的经济中心。位处南方的罗马是意大利的首都，也是意大利的政治和文化中心。跟米兰相比，罗马有悠久的历史，所以罗马的古迹比米兰多。米兰比罗马更现代，也是一个优雅的城市 , 有很多名牌衣服的商店，常常有时装秀，所以我们可以说米兰是意大利的时尚之都 。 罗马反而很可能是意大利的艺术之都，在这个城市有很有名的广场、喷泉、还有大量的著名雕塑和画作，每年都吸引很多人来游览。(But isn't the last part applicable to Milan too?)

两地的气候也不一样：米兰常常天阴，罗马天气常晴。而且罗马冬天没有米兰那么冷。

罗马跟米兰的交通情况都不好，常常堵车。 我的朋友告诉我罗马人比米兰人热情，罗马跟米兰比，她更喜欢罗马。我也觉得米兰不如罗马。

[skylee]

Oh re "罗马反而很可能是意大利的艺术之都", shouldn't that be Florence instead?

[lily.star]

Thank you all for you attention, I'm sorry if I disturbed somebody with my request

I don't know exactly what my level is, but this is the third year I'm studying chinese.

I just wanted some advice in order to find out what was wrong with my essay and what I must study again or pay more attenction to. I found your amendments really useful!

One thing you must figure out is the use of 了. All the 了 in your passages are wrong.

Yes... I have a problem with 了!

shouldn't that be Florence instead?

Right, Florence is also important for art, but being Rome my city, don't you think it's natural for me to put it at first place?

[Zhao Hanqing]

your chinese is amazing, incredibly good.

[Zhao Hanqing]

for 有很多名牌衣服 的商店.i would say 名牌时装店.