Loneliness in China vs Japan/Taiwan/Korea?

[13cyberphoenix]

I traveled last year and spent a couple weeks each in China, Taiwan, Korea, and Japan. I know that in Taiwan/Japan/Korea, there are plenty of single, overworked men and women in lonely high-rise apartment units. It also seems like that in Taiwan/Japan/Korea, more and more people are becoming so isolated that they die without anyone really knowing or caring about their deaths.

However, the situation for the elderly seemed to be very different in China. In the streets of China, there was so much space for spontaneous and free social activity and interaction

The elderly seemed to be full of vitality in China. I saw them walk for miles and not get tired in China's pedestrian friendly streets. I often saw them dancing together on the streets or doing 'tai-chi' or some other form of exercise. Many of them seemed to have their own pockets of community and a strong network of communal support. It seemed like there was an 'instant familiarity among strangers' among the elderly in China.

Compare this situation with that of countries like Taiwan, Japan, Korea and so on and the differences are so stark and the correlation between development/commercialization and social isolation and alienation so consistently high that you cannot help but conclude that development/commercialization and extreme urbanization is indeed like a disease that is really gradually killing the humanity in all of us. It seemed that in China, it would be much easier to meet lots of people who are real, non-judgmental, down to earth, friendly and easy to talk to. It seemed that it would be the hardest to meet people like that in Korea as they seemed extremely fashion-conscious and materialistic

What are your thoughts on this?

[brennan]

I agree.

The more we become connected, the less face-to-face interaction will happen.

What about cultural homogeneity as a side effect of urbanization/development?

[Lu]

You didn't see this in Taiwan? When I was living in Taipei, I saw many groups of elderly or middle-aged people hanging out in parks, watching outdoor opera, doing dancing classes and whatnot. Perhaps it's different in other areas, but elderly people in the Chinese countryside, who get left behind with the grandchildren when their children leave to work in the cities, can be lonely too.

It seemed that in China, it would be much easier to meet lots of people who are real, non-judgmental, down to earth, friendly and easy to talk to. It seemed that it would be the hardest to meet people like that in Korea as they seemed extremely fashion-conscious and materialistic.

I think this may be too generalising. In my experience, people in Taiwan, including big city Taipei, are extremely friendly and easy to talk to (that is also generalising of course). Plenty of Chinese people are very judgemental, and the idea that the older generation (the 50后, say) don't care about material possessions is incorrect, I think. Just look at the pressure the 80后 get to make good money and marry well. As to 'the ways the older generation still clings to', this includes some good things of course (community, helping each other) but also some bad things we're well rid of (arranged marriage, and later the 单位 being in charge of everything).

[abcdefg]

I often saw them dancing together on the streets or doing 'tai-chi' or some other form of exercise. Many of them seemed to have their own pockets of community and a strong network of communal support. It seemed like there was an 'instant familiarity among strangers' among the elderly in China.

These things take place in Kunming. How well a foreigner can integrate into such activities will be governed at least to some extent by how well you can communicate in the local language. As a foreigner, your acceptance will always be conditional; you won't have a thick fabric of mutual past history, exchanged favors and other forms of "connectedness" to bind you together. Your attitude will also be an important factor.

I can't speak to the comparative aspects of your question, since my first-hand experience of Taiwan, Korea, and Japan is brief and superficial.

[OneEye]

I think you ought to spend more than a few weeks in a country before you make such sweeping judgements. I haven't spent nearly enough time in Japan (only 2 weeks) to say whether it's one way or another, and I've never been to Korea, but the Taiwan you describe is nothing like the Taiwan I live in. Old people socialize, dance in the parks, do Taiji in the morning, etc. They tend to be very warm and friendly, and they'll especially open up if you speak a few words of Taiwanese. All generalizations of course, but that's my experience after two years living there.