Are Chinese people easy to get along with and make friends with?

[Persian]

Tomorrow, i'll be visiting China for just over a month. The reason why is because i was going to visit 2 friends in different cities and we were going to go travelling. But they pulled out last minute because of studying and now i'm stuck with a 6 week ticket and i'm not sure what to do there (i'll be going Sichuan and Chongqing).

Do you think while i'm there, it'll be easy to make new friends? 

[Persian]

I'm not saying being academic is a bad thing, but so many chinese people i have spoken to speak like a top education is their life's purpose and that all that glitters is gold. So if my chinese friends deem education more important than friendship, i'm not sure what i'm meant to do.

[Lu]

Some Chinese people only care about money, but there are plenty who are interested in meeting someone from a foreign country, especially at universities. Of course it also depends on how approachable and outgoing you are, but there are certainly a lot of nice people. Perhaps look into some English corners in the cities you'll visit, they'll be happy to practice on a real-life foreigner. Also check out the Beijing tea scam thread so that you know who not to make friends with.

As to loneliness while travelling: consider staying in hostels rather than hotels. There you'll often find other foreign travellers who will be happy to go explore places together, even if you're only friends for a few days before everyone moves on.

Lastly, your friends may have cancelled on you because of education or that may be an excuse, but regardless it's not very nice to do so at the last minute, imo, leaving you there with your six week ticket. There is a lot to see in China and a lot of people to meet, so I hope you'll have a good time regardless.

[淨土極樂]

There is a lot to see in China and a lot of people to meet

Damn straight.

But anyway, yes. China is a developing country, and consumerism, a primarily Western ideal that is newly-founded in developing nations, has caused countries like China to become greedy. Chinese do care about money/status a bit too much.

[xuefang]

As to loneliness while travelling: consider staying in hostels rather than hotels. There you'll often find other foreign travellers who will be happy to go explore places together, even if you're only friends for a few days before everyone moves on.

I also recomend you to stay in hostels where many foreign travellers stay. It's easy to make friends there and explore the area together. If you go to Chengdu, check out Sim's Cozy Garden Hostel, the best hostel I've ever stayed.

[ChTTay]

You should definitely stay in hostels (see hostelbookers or hostelworld). Hostels, for the most part, offer instant friends. Lots of people in the same situation, you can find people to travel to the same places, people to drink with etc. some are Chinese but most will be foreign.

Its likely you will hangout mostly with other foreigners. If it makes you feel any better though, none of my Chinese friends match your description.

Don't worry, travelling alone in China is fine.

Edit: I second staying at Sims in Chengdu. I didn't like it that much but the location is probably the best out of whats on offer.

[roddy]

If you want to make friends with Chinese people, a good start would be asking yourself why they're so concerned about money, work and education, rather than assuming this is some kind of failing.

You'll meet plenty of people. Be open and friendly, stay in hostels, don't ignore foreigners just because they're foreign, hang out in places with lots of people - parks, university campuses, etc.

[Ruben von Zwack]

I think young people in mainland Chinese are under an enormous pressure by their parents and families, career wise and education wise, and if you're not in that situation, one cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like.

I had a flat mate from China whose first name seriously meant "excell mother's family". She got up every morning at 6, studied, went to university, came home, and studied till late at night. The only holiday she took in 10 months living with me was going to Italy for 6 days. When she had no classes, she would still get up at 6 and spend the whole day sitting at her desky, studying, till late at night. She never went out to eat, never went to see a movie, just sat at her desk and studied.

Needless to say in my eyes that was almost psychotic behaviour, and I felt relieved when she finally moved out. But I'm telling this story to make my point about the pressure for success under which young Chinese are.

So what I'm trying to say is - it might get on your nerves, it might seem crazy, but try not to judge.

[billhank]

I suggest that you try and find hosts through https://www.couchsurfing.org/‎ as you could be hosted by welcoming locals which would greatly increase your chances of hanging out with actual Chinese people compared to the hostels option where there'll mostly be foreigners.

I did couch surfing in China and I went to places I wouldn't have been otherwise (sight seeing, treks, restaurants, etc.) and would gladly do it again. On a side note, you will also save money!

[Ruben von Zwack]

@ billhank - That's an amazing suggestion! Actually I'm registered with couchsurfing, but never used my account so far. Do you have to earn points? And is it popular in China? Would I host Chinese guests where I live (Germany,) so that then later I can be the guest of someone in China?

And did you still give your hosts money, or invite them to dinner, or something?

My friend went couchsurfing in Brazil and said she invited her hosts to so many rounds of drinks that actually she didn't save any money

@Persian I hope it's not like I hijack your topic. I hope these questions are also interesting for you

[billhank]

There are a lot of people! When I first did couch surfing, I had no references/comments/friends and I hadn't even paid the donation which confirms your identity through your credit card making you a "verified" member of the system... Basically, I was just a shady dude asking people to lend me their couches ;)

I still managed to find some couches. I am going back in August there are a lot of people on the website. Just try and send a lot of requests to Chinese people. I never hosted anyone but since then, I received good reviews from the people that hosted me.

I didn't give my hosts money but I did pay for alcohol/restaurants but not because I felt compelled to clear any kind of dept but mostly because they were extremely generous, friendly and welcoming. I guess I could have left them a little gift too I still have them on facebook and will probably meet a few of them when I'll be back.

[renzhe]

Actually I'm registered with couchsurfing, but never used my account so far. Do you have to earn points?

You don't have to earn "points", but people with many positive references typically have better chances of finding a couch. People will trust you more that way than if you're a completely new user.

Because of this, it is a good idea to host someone if you can, or to attend some local Couchsurfing events in order to meet people and get some references confirming that you're not a psycho.

And is it popular in China?

Reasonably popular, especially in big cities. Expat heavy, since many young Chinese live with their families.

It is important to remember that you don't have to stay at somebody's home to make use of Couchsurfing. Many members cannot host (flat too small, live with parents, etc.) but are willing to join you for a tour of their town, some language exchange or a coffee.

Often, staying in a hostel, and arranging to meet a local for a dinner or a drink will be a great option, since you still get to meet interesting locals who can tell you everything about the place you are visiting.

Alternatively, large cities have regular Couchsurfing events where you can go (usually a dinner or a bar evening or karaoke or something) and meet dozens of locals in a relaxed setting.

Would I host Chinese guests where I live (Germany,) so that then later I can be the guest of someone in China?

It's a good way to get an experience for how Couchsurfing works and to get some positive references, which will help you later.

If done in moderation, hosting people is great fun and you meet awesome people.

And did you still give your hosts money, or invite them to dinner, or something?

No money should change hands, it's against "the Couchsurfing spirit". Typically, you might offer your host a small gift from your country, or offer to cook a dinner for them (this is usually very welcome), or wash the dishes if they cook for you, or buy them a drink when you go out... You could even buy them a dinner if you stay with them for a long time and notice that they your visit is costing them money (e.g. they drive you around all the time).

Hosting itself should be free, but it's important to show your appreciation in some way rather than freeloading.

My friend went couchsurfing in Brazil and said she invited her hosts to so many rounds of drinks that actually she didn't save any money

This can happen But she made some good friends in the process!

[Jeremy Andrews]

So many chinese people i have met seem so obsessed with work, education and money

That seems to be a fairly accurate description of most Americans I know as well. They seem like pretty universal concerns, honestly. After all, if you don't get a good education and work very hard, you're liable to end up in the streets or leeching off family for the rest of your life... especially these days. Unless you're insanely talented at something or have influential friends, of course.

If you don't have to worry about those things much, you're likely either extremely well-off... or too busy trying to find food and shelter from day-to-day to think about working. Either extremely rich or extremely poor, basically, because almost all middle-class people are fixated on those three things.

In any case, it seems like Chinese people have a lot of the same problems as I do, and should be fairly easy to relate to...

[AucklandLove]

I think anyone trying to describe "The Chinese" is going to fail. It is 1.3 billion people, with loads of differences. A banker in Shanghai and a punk rock singer in Beijing just do not have much in common. Be nice, friendly and you will be fine.

[Persian]

Came back from China a few months ago. Made lots of new friends, and my friends who previously couldn't contact me (because of college work) visited me every sunday when they had time, which was nice of them - wasn't expecting that. Anyway, everything turned out well.

[James3]

I'm getting more and more interested in traveling to China (probably Harbin), and staying for a bit. And just recently I discovered couchsurfing.org, just like was mentioned in this topic.

 

I'm approaching it a bit differently, though, in that I'm e-mailing several people, and saying that I'm planning a trip to the area, but have never been to China - much less to Harbin - and I'm hoping to make some friends before I arrive. So far one person is offering to do some language exchange, so we can both practice a bit. So even before I get the opportunity to do any actual couchsurfing, I'm already glad I signed up. Anyone else have current stories or testimonies to relate?

[hedwards]

In m experience, it really depends. If you go places where the normal tourists don't go, you'll often find the people are less greedy and more friendly. But, you have to be mindful about why the tourists don't go there and be especially careful about the foods. Sometimes there's motor oil used for cooking oil and other times you can wind up being overcharged.

 

But, how friendly they are over all tends to come down to you more than anything else. When I was there in 2012, the easiest way to meet people was to wear one of those wonderful Chairman Obamao shirts, I don't think I ever went out wearing it without people wanting to talk to me. Wearing a shirt that expresses that you're interested in Chinese is probably also a good way of meeting people.

 

I also found that by virtue of being in a more rural setting with blue eyes and fair skin that I'd get a fair number of students interested in chatting. But, realize that the Chinese can be kind of shy so you might have to provide them with something to get them started. Actually, I kind of liked that because it's a lot like home where people often times won't talk because they're too shy.