Help on an email.

[Rhinopithecus]

Hi guys, I'm new to the forums. I was just wondering if anyone can help me a little bit on this introductory email? It's to a scientist - is it too formal/informal? Are there any points that people would reword? Should I be more flattering?

Thanks for your help.

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尊敬的xx博士，

我是一个在xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx的研究者。我们正在研究一个有关青藏高原的电视节目。这个节目的重点就是食肉动物；即藏狐，熊，兔狲，藏狼以及雪豹。

我们所想知道的是我们能在哪个地区拍摄这些动物在觅食？我们尤其对有蹄类动物感兴趣，即野牦牛，藏羚羊，藏原羚，盘羊等。

我们希望拍摄的地区如下：

青海省玉树治多县索加乡

野牛沟

可可西里

恳请对方进一步提供关于这些地方的详细？倘使您方便的话, 能不能给我介绍一些研究这些领域的研究者？

非常感谢您的帮助。

此政

敬礼

Tim

[skylee]

I don't know why XX 博士 would entertain your requests. You might wish to tell him / her that you are approaching him/ her because s/he is an expert of this area etc etc. My other observations -

尊敬的xx博士，

我是一个在xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx的研究者 (this is a very european sentence)。我们正在研究 (are you studying a programme or planning a programme? If you are planning one, use 籌備 instead) 一个有关青藏高原的电视节目。这这个节目的重点就是食肉动物；即藏狐，熊，兔狲，藏狼以及雪豹。

(Add here why XX 博士 should help you.)

我们所想知道的是我们能在哪个地区拍摄这些动物在的觅食情況 ？(Why the question mark? This is not a question, is it?) 我们尤其对有蹄类动物感兴趣，即野牦牛，藏羚羊，藏原羚，盘羊等(none of these are listed as the focus in the paragraph above. Is something missing?)。

我们希望拍摄的地区如下：

青海省玉树治多县索加乡

野牛沟

可可西里

恳请对方(?? Who is this? If you mean the recipient of this message, consider 可否勞煩您) 进一步提供关于这些地方的详细資料給我們？倘使您方便的话, 能不能给我介绍一些研究这些领域的研究者？

非常感谢您的帮助。

此政 致 (First, there is a typo. Second, I suggest you don't use this format. Use the modern format unless you know what you are doing.)

敬礼

[Kenny同志]

If you could provide the English version of the email, someone may translate for you.

@skylee

我認為，要寫好正式郵件，學學尺牘很有好處。

[skylee]

Re #3, the OP has made it clear that it is an email, not a formal letter.

[Kenny同志]

Judging from its content, I think it's a formal email.

[Rhinopithecus]

Great, thanks guys. How would be a better way to finish off an email then if you don't put 此致,敬礼?

[skylee]

Re #6, I suggest the following -

非常感谢您的帮助。

祝 身體健康、工作順利！ (or 祝安康如意 / 祝生活愉快 / 祝秋安 / 祝好 etc)

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