Dealing with the locals as a tourist

[thenimblethief]

My wife and I have just returned from Xiamen. Our son has just graduated from Xia Da and we spent three weeks with him and his local Chinese girlfriend of five years. Apart from being constantly stared at by locals, I found them to be extremely friendly and good natured. I suppose my wife was homed in more than myself. She is, shall we say, more generously proportioned than the type of women we saw. Being a white non Chinese and a little overweight made her interesting to look at. I didn't realise that girls over there were so slim. Is anybody over there just a little overweight

It is interesting how differently we were treated in shops there. We were looking at some beautiful amber jewellery. An elephant on a chain. It was selling for 4900 rmb and we were offered it at 4400 rmb. We politely refused but returned the next day with our son's girlfriend. Same shop assistant. She was offered it at 3200 rmb. I loved the city and I loved the people there. I believe that they are not being rude or annoying. They are just being themselves. And as for haggling; my son was even able to haggle for two sprites in the Xiamen Botanical Park successfully. He is coming home for a while in September and will hate being ripped off in the UK. I suggest you make a real concerted effort to speak the language and study Chinese social customs etc. It took a while for him to understand the way the chinese think with regards to honour and face. We watched an argument in the middle of the street involving a young girl, a taxi driver, and a policeman. I couldn't understand why the girl was smiling and also the cab driver. My son explained that in these situations a lot of chinese people express discomfort and embarrassment by smiling. I wish I had my time again and had the opportunities to follow what my son has learned whilst being in China.

Oh yes..... My son and I were approached by a very smart, attractive girl driving a large new limousine. It was near on midnight. She got out and offered us her card offering her services , for want of a better explanation! My son spoke to her pleasantly in Mandarin and after a genuinely smiling and returning some compliments, she returned to her car and drove off. It's just the ability of a white non chinese to speak Mandarin which will get you out of awkward situations and will actually gain you many friends over there.

[thenimblethief]

If I had to find fault when shopping. It's the fact that you can't walk into a shop without being accosted by some shop assistant. OK, they are usually beautiful and stand at the door. They follow you around the store even though you have said you are just browsing. But again, my son says that it's not being pushy; just that the Chinese are urged to be as helpful as possible to customers. I think maybe he is a little too protective of them. Ha ha!

Anyway, if my son can get by happily over there being over six foot tall and with curly red hair and a Chinese girlfriend, then anyone else should easily do it ha ha!

[Angelina]

Yeah, we love reading about your family. Keep us updated!

[thenimblethief]

Angelina. Josh is on his way home for a while to sort out a sleeping problem that started when he was studying for his A levels and got worse as he did his BA in Xiamen. He can't sleep during they night and sleeps a lot during the day. He is going to see a specialist over here in the UK. This will mean he is apart from Sophie Su for a while. Looking at the state of our country, I think he will soon begin to miss China. He promises to post to you guys before he leaves on September 1st for London Heathrow. You have all been so kind to him and he is sorry for not posting sooner but he was doing his exams and his dissertation.

[Johnny20270]

looking at the state of our county

yes, don't get me started on that. We tolerate far to much nonsence here compared to other countries like china

[Alex Whiteman]

#14 --

Quote

Back home, I don't see three employees (or one for that matter) at each supermarket shelf just to push products. These people cost money and when they are not bothering customers they are just chatting among themselves - there must be a reason for them to be there.

These girls in the supermarkets who wear special attention-grabbing clothes and want you to buy one brand of yogurt or instant noodles that's "on special today only" work on commission. They aren't employees of the store.

No, I'm talking about store employees. Middle aged 服务员 types with supermarket uniform lurking mostly (but not limited to) at the cleaning products, personal hygiene and grocery sections.

[Silent]

"You'll love China. People actually understand when you don't want to buy stuff. You don't have to yell" so I figure it can't be that bad (I hope...)

Never been to India, so I can't compare but I really don't understand the complaints about hassle in China. Being followed in the supermarket and products shoved into your face? Never experienced anything like that. In contrary, if I wanted to ask where to find a certain product or had a question about a poduct I usually had to look around for someone to ask. Maybe in the smaller private shops but these tend to be so small that at best they followed me with their eyes. The moment you show interest in the (tourist)market you tend to get attention, but that's the same worldwide. If there is any hassle at all it's the people that want a picture or that buy me excessive amounts of fruit. To me China feels completely hassle free apart from a few tourist hot spots.

The only places I experienced any real amount of hassle is Africa. But maybe I look so mean and threatening that only some Africans are poor and desperate enough to overcome the fear to hassle me.

[renzhe]

Most people you will meet in China are wonderful and the "hassles" are of the rather entertaining nature (staring, taking photos, pointing like they saw a Martian...)

But tourist hotspots can be quite rough.

[Ruben von Zwack]

But maybe I look so mean and threatening that only some Africans are poor and desperate enough to overcome the fear to hassle me.

Silent is that you ???

[Silent]

Silent is that you ???

No, that's my handsome brother!

[Wabl]

If you receive a casual "hello" from any male aged 15-25 (as a guesstimate), you can be sure that this is not a form of cross-cultural politeness, but rather a way for such local males to mock you. The theory they adopt is that as foreigners we are like monkeys... Lets say hello to the monkey (foreigner), oh look the stupid monkey is saying hello back.

I didn't understand this for the first few years (and would respond), but now that I do get it, I will never respond.

Any hellos from females, kids or those matured people are often said in good faith, and of course a response is courteous.

[Johnny20270]

If you receive a casual "hello" from any male aged 15-25 (as a guesstimate), you can be sure that this is not a form of cross-cultural politeness, but rather a way for such local males to mock you. The theory they adopt is that as foreigners we are like monkeys... Lets say hello to the monkey (foreigner), oh look the stupid monkey is saying hello back.

Seems a bit cynical don't you think? Although I have little experience so don't really know

[li3wei1]

A long time ago, around 1990-ish, I was in some town in southern China that there was no reason to visit, except that it had a train running through it (I must have taken a bus to someplace nearby, I can't remember). So I was sitting outside the train station, writing in my diary, and looked up to find about 30 people crowded around, watching me intently as if I had pulled out an AK-47 and was taking it apart and putting it back together again. I let them have a look, and they passed it around, turning it this way and that (my handwriting isn't all that good). I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was writing in English, or the fact that I was writing, that they found so interesting. Though I could speak fairly good Chinese at that point, I don't remember doing so on that occasion, maybe they were all talking in a dialect, or I was in one of my 'pretend I don't understand so I don't get roped into the same old conversation again' moods.

[Meng Lelan]

Post #33, I had the similar experience in 1986 when I saw two deaf girls my age using sign language in a department store. Since their Chinese sign language was different from my American sign language we had to whip out some notepaper and write in Chinese. A crowd of over 100 shoppers gathered around us and read aloud what we were writing and finally the police or security came and broke up the crowd. And this was downtown Beijing.