“我很喜欢ta”

[陳德聰]

After reading so many people's responses, I think this is much much much more a social issue than it is a language issue. The social expectations that men like women and that women like men will more greatly influence these utterances than anything else.

 

Of course if you are a guy and you say you like/aime/喜欢 a girl, people are going to assume you like them romantically. This probably holds true for most cultures.

 

I think the best test for the language aspect of the sentence 我喜欢ta has to do with if you said this about a person the same gender as you. If you say it about a person of the same gender as you and it won't make people turn their heads, then the sentence itself does not mean anything romantic. It is only when social constructions like gender come into play that you get this romantic reading.

[Guest realmayo]

Is it possible the 'best' way of saying I like her (not obviously romantically) in Chinese is: 她+adj,  e.g. 她很好

That perhaps wading in the with the "I" + active verb + "her" is a bit strong in Chinese?

 

I only mention it because in the back of my mind I remember years ago reading something that warned it's better to say in Chinese "that's a nice painting" if visiting someone's house rather than "I like your painting" because the strength of the latter in Chinese could be too much, and almost make the guy think you wanted it, maybe he should even offer it to you.

 

Also, I can imagine an English conversation of "I like you, but only as a friend" but I'm not sure how well a similar sentence in Chinese would work using 我喜欢你....

[Demonic_Duck]

OK, well, it appears that I was wrong, and that 喜欢 can be used for non-romantic "like" between opposite sexes. I recently finished watching the Mandarin dub of 少林足球, which contains the following exchange:

 

阿妹：我想跟你说件事。

阿星：什么事？

阿妹：我喜欢你。

阿星：我也喜欢你呀。

阿妹：那我们之间是爱情吗？

阿星：你是开玩笑吧？

阿妹：我是认真问你，真的。

阿星：那当然不是爱情！我们永远都是好朋友嘛。

 

With that said:

• Throughout the movie, the character of 阿星 is portrayed as being unusually straightforward in his ways of thinking and speech.
• As soon as he says he 喜欢 her, she immediately assumes he means he loves her.
• Spoiler (highlight to see): at the end of the movie it turns out he did indeed have feelings for her and they become a couple (big surprise, I know).

As such, it seems it's still wiser not to use it for non-romantic feelings between people of opposite genders.

[Nathan Mao]

So 喜欢　is ambiguous in Chinese, but it is ambiguous in the US, too. It all depends on context, tone of voice, etc, of both asker and answerer.

 

So if you want to avoid ambiguity, there is always another way.

You can say, "我喜欢和她聊天儿“ or "她是我好哥们儿” or "她真够意思“ or "我看她是个好朋友”

 

That's just the tip of the iceberg to find ways to say you enjoy her friendship without having romantic feelings.

 

Just keep in mind that cultural assumptions might undermine any attempt you make to clarify, like Shakespeare's "the lady doth protest too much, methinks".

[abcdefg]

You can say, "我喜欢和她聊天二“ or "她是我好哥们二”

This is not my usual job, but Skylee may be off line，traveling just now.

 

So, shouldn't it be 聊天儿 and 哥们儿 ？

[Nathan Mao]

Yeah. I was typing too fast. Thanks. I'll make the change.

[abcdefg]

No problem. I do that all the time.

[muirm]

I ran into this with my last language partner. I said something like 很喜欢 my new (male) boss, and she gave a little wince and suggested I rephrase. I changed to something like 觉得他很好 or 对他印象很好, but like Demonic_Duck I didn't feel like I had said the same thing as "like".

 

喜欢 and "like" are both ambiguous when you are talking about people, but I think "like" is 20% romantic (i.e. usually defaults to non-romantic), where 喜欢 is the other way around and usually defaults to romantic.

 

I'm also imagining a good line from a chinglish skit:

甲: 我很喜欢她

乙: 可是，你喜欢喜欢她吗?

[tooironic]

I just realised that 我很看好她 could work as a way of saying you like a girl without giving the impression you like like her.

[rezaf]

I think 看好 sounds like you think she has a good future or potential. I think the only way to say it in a platonic way is to use 佩服 or 喜欢 with 她的 something. 欣赏 is also an option.

[skylee]

看好 doea not mean the same thing.