Red envelopes vs gifts.

[Lourence]

I have a romantic relationship with a Chinese. Can I give to them a gift for the incoming New Year or is it absolutely required to prepare a red envelope? How much money should I give and which gift would be the most suitable for this occasion?

[陳德聰]

Are the two of you located in China? If so, I'd say do not give a red envelope to this person for New Years.

 

Around here it wouldn't be quite so weird, but even then I think you giving a romantic partner a red envelope makes it feel like they're a prostitute or something. We generally only give them to children/our children/young people we know who aren't married yet, or maybe newly married couples get them from people...

 

Haha, writing this I realized how arbitrary it is... But it doesn't seem right for you to give it to your romantic partner.

[skylee]

No, do not give your romantic partner red packets.

In Hong Kong, you give red packets if (1) you are married or (2) you are old or in a senior position. And you give them to (1) children, young people you know, younger relatives (singles); (2) people who serve you, like waiters, janitors/security guards in your building; and (3) your subordinates. It is like people of higher positions give them to people of lower positions in various contexts. Married people of equal status (eg friends, cousins) give red packets to each other so it is like exchanging them.

[Lu]

In Taiwan, grown children can also give them to their elderly parents, especially if the children are working and the parents retired.

[skylee]

I can't imagine giving red packets to my mom.

And in a work environment in Hong Kong one must be very careful with this thing because of the implication of bribery. I noticed last year that the security guards at my building stopped saying kung hei fat choi to the residents here. I supposed it was an instruction they followed so that they would not be seen as soliciting red packets.

[dwq]

In my experience, if you are 同輩 (about the same age / social status and no blood relation) you don't give red pockets to each other for New Year.
 
Save the gift for Valentine's Day, which incidentally falls on the same day as 元宵節 (which is also considered a romantic festival) this year.  I read on the news that price of roses rose [sic] to more than 100 yuan each this year...

[YamiiSan]

I am in a similar situation, I'm spending spring festival with my chinese bf and I have no idea what to bring to his family members except for some sweets and other stuff you can eat.

[langxia]

1.What would you get your boyfriends family if you would celebrate christmas with them ?

2.What I did in your situation was to ask my girlfriend what would be appropriate gifts to bring when spending spring festival with her family.

[YamiiSan]

So what did u bring?

[陳德聰]

YamiiSan, you're missing the point.

Ask your boyfriend what his family would see as appropriate. Trust him, I'm sure he would know.

 

When I spent Lunar New Year with my boyfriend's family, I just brought his younger sister some toys from a show she likes. I had intended to bring a bunch of mandarin oranges, but he was adamant that I not. Where I'm from, it's totally normal to bring them when you dine at someone else's house during this holiday... But different places, different customs. Apparently it's a girl thing ( ) to bring them to the in-laws for him, but for me they're just something you essentially give to anybody.

Moral of story: Ask your Chinese boyfriend what your Chinese boyfriend thinks you should give to your Chinese boyfriend's Chinese parents.

[jbradfor]

Sooooo.......

 

YamiiSan, what did you bring and how did it go?

 

[Don't ask me what it is about getting older, one gets nosier and nosier about the romantic relationships of people one doesn't even know.]