[Homework Help] "Effects of Tablet Computer on Children"

[Immovable Bodhi]

Hi, all.

 

I once posted here, but I didn't because my Chinese studies lagged. I'm now studying with a lecturer at a University. I need input on this text of mine I made just an hour ago.

 

I've been studying Chinese for four years, and am currently in the last series of the Mandarin Chinese class in my University, so I think you can guess my proficiency: not too high, not too low; I can read simple analytic texts with uncomplicated logic and grammar. This is the one text I made.

 

The lecturer required that we use some words from previous lessons, but I did not use some because they did not fit in (it's OK). The reason why the lecturer required this is because she wanted to see how we grammatically used the words in sentences, both semantically and pragmatically.

 

The theme is 电脑的影响 -- I modified it to 平板电脑对孩子的影响

 

List of required words

 

 

Here is the Chinese text (I marked the required words in blue):

 

 

最近，麦克有一个特别重要的问题。以前，他以为买给他的女儿一个平板电脑会帮她学习一把。以前麦克想，把平板电脑作为生日礼物送给女儿以后，通过平板电脑一直跟因特网连上的功能会帮他的女儿查一切跟学习有关的资料。反而，他女儿渐渐只为玩平板电脑上的游戏，例如“切水果”，而来拿上那个平板电脑，一拿上就是几个小时。没想到，那个平板电脑偏偏变成一个对学习有危害的东西了。看样子恐怕世界上大部分父母都有这样的问题。随着中国和世界的现代化，每个家长都不禁买一个电脑给家人，免得掉队。

 

电脑形式的高速发展和变化，例如是这个平板电脑，有时候难为人着呢。除了价钱不总是合理以外，这样的电脑一般是难免随的，一掉队就会为难人。而且，随着平板电脑的普及，孩子接触平板电脑的几率增大。小孩子对平板电脑利用往往都是用来玩色彩艳丽的一些游戏，看似没有什么不妥，其实却具有很大的危害。按照眼科医院的教授指出，平板电脑是直接发光体，由于画面色彩亮丽，因此会给视觉造成强烈的刺激。哪怕屏幕亮度调低就可以减少刺激，小孩子的眼睛还没完成，因此没有作用。总之，家长都总得仔细地调查他们小孩子与平板电脑的作用。

 

好在，这些平板电脑到因特网一直连上的功能真正会帮学生学习一把。外语学生会在所有地方查网络上电子词典，使他们的词语和语法丰富；化学学生会容易地看看原子的图像。总之，家长买平板电脑给儿子是还可以的，只要仔仔细细地陪孩子的作用。

 

 

As you can see, it's pretty complicated. I took some of the sentences from Haxiu.

 

This is the English translation. I wrote the Mandarin first.

 

Recently, Mike has an especially serious problem. He used to consider that giving his daughter a tablet computer would help her study. Mike used to think that after giving a tablet computer as a birthday gift, his daughter could search data relating to her studies through the continuously online Internet feature of the tablet computer. On the contrary, her daughter gradually only picked up the tablet computer to play games such as "Fruit Ninja", and can play up to hours. Surprisingly, the tablet computer turned into something that is dangerous to his daughter's study. It seems possible that the majority of parents around the world are having the same issue. Following the modernization of China and the world, every parent have no other choice but to give their house a computer to avoid falling behind.
 

The high speed in which computer designs develop and change, resulting in things such as the tablet computer, sometimes makes it difficult for people. Other than the hardly suitable price, this kind of computer is usually hard not to follow and can embarrass people if they lag behind. Moreover, following the popularization of the tablet computer, the rate in which children comes into contact with the tablet computer is increasing. Children often use the computer to play color-rich games, which on first look does not seem harmful, but in reality possesses a large danger. According to a professor of eye studies, the tablet computer is a directly illuminating body of light, which, through the bright and beautiful colors of the screen, could cause strong irritation to the eye. Even if one sets the screen brightness lower, the eyes of a children have not fully formed, in turn causing no effect. In short, every head of the family must carefully watch their children's activity with the tablet.

Fortunately, the constant connectivity of the tablet computer can genuinely help a student learn. Foreign language students can search in online electronic dictionaries any where, enriching their grammar and vocabulary. Chemistry students could easily look up images of atoms. In brief, it is still okay for a head of the family to buy tablet computers for their children, as long as they carefully watch their children's activities.

 

I know it's a bit jumbled, but my lecturer cares more on where I put words and assemble sentences than how the whole text goes. She is actually rather too grammatical.

 

Oh, and the text is intended to be translated into Indonesian rather than English. I am an Indonesian native speaker studying in an Indonesian university. So if the English appears to be a bit jumbled, I think it's still fine; I intended the English translation to give readers in this forum a gist of what I am talking about in the Mandarin version.

 

Thank you for your kind help, people!

 

 

[Immovable Bodhi]

Oh, yes, and please remind me if this is not the right place to request homework help. I know this looks more like Writing and I've noticed the Writing and Reading section; but since my class is inherently grammatical to begin with, I decided to post it here. (if grammatical is even the proper adjective)

[skylee]

Why is it necessary to say "continuously online Internet feature", in both English and Chinese?  Isn't it simply "internet access"?

 

It will take plenty of work to correct the Chinese piece.  If there is no other contribution here, I will write again later.

[skylee]

Here is my input to the first paragraph.  Hope it helps.

 

 

最近，麦克有遇到一个特别重要的问难题。以前，他以为买一个平板电脑给他的女儿一个平板电脑会帮有助于她学习一把。以前麦克想，把平板电脑作为生日礼物送给女儿以后，通过平板电脑一直跟因特网连上的上网功能，会帮他的女儿便可以查到一切跟学习有关的资料。反而，然而他女儿渐渐只为了玩平板电脑上的例如“切水果”这些游戏，例如“切水果”，而来才会拿上起那个平板电脑，而且一拿上玩就是几个小时。没想到，那个平板电脑偏偏反而变成一个对学习有危害的东西了。看样子恐怕世界上大部分父母都有这样的问题。随着中国和世界的现代化，每个家长都不禁不得不买一个电脑给家人，免得掉队。

[Immovable Bodhi]

Hi, skylee. Thanks for helping. Unfortunately there isn't any other contribution here, but yours is also enough, thank you!

 

I haven't been able to log in for the last two days due to lack of Internet access.

 

Now--

 

 

 

Why is it necessary to say "continuously online Internet feature", in both English and Chinese?  Isn't it simply "internet access"?

 

I just wanted to point out that it's continuously available, so someone can do it anywhere.

[Demonic_Duck]

Never seen "因特网" before (only "网络" and "互联网"). Is that used in Taiwan?

 

Also never seen "一把", is that like "一下"?

[skylee]

Re  #6, the terms are ok, if used suitably.

[Demonic_Duck]

I'm not saying they're not "OK", just wondering what would constitute "suitably".

[roddy]

Found this old message which, if you look for the contribution from the user Siam, traces the two terms for Internet back to a need to distinguish between any internet, and the IP-based Internet which became dominant.

 

That website might be worth trawling through - an archive of Chinese language discussions stretching back more than a decade? Where else would you find such a thing?