A visit from the police

[abcdefg]

Tonight a little before 9 p.m. I heard a knock on the door. Looking out the peep hole showed two uniformed policemen. When I opened up they were surprised to find a 老外 (foreigner) living here. Pretty sure I'm the only one in this old and shabby apartment complex.

 

I invited them in and offered them a seat. They asked if I was legally registered, how long I'd been here and whether or not I lived alone. Both officers showed me their Identification and one handed me a business card. I showed them a copy of my foreigner registration, passport and visa.

 

One made notes on a clipboard. They asked my phone number, and I gave that to them as well. Took 3 to 5 minutes all in all. Handled in a civilized manner.

 

Seems they were knocking on all the doors in my building. I have no idea whether it was some sort of routine periodic neighborhood check or whether it related in some way to the recent Kunming train station attack. The city has been a little jumpy in its wake.

 

At least it wasn't a SWAT team kicking down my door and tossing in flash-bangs as part of a mistaken-address drug raid.

 

 

[SiMaKe]

Yes, good thing they weren't looking for mushrooms! 

[Meng Lelan]

At least it wasn't a SWAT team kicking down my door and tossing in flash-bangs as part of a mistaken-address drug raid.

 

They only do this in deaf education to force teachers of the auditory impaired to comply with and submit to proper paperwork protocols.

 

Surely you got nice language practice and practical application of your language skills in this educational scenario. 

[Gerard]

It is long since I decided to go to live to China, and Kunming was one of my main preferences. News like that terrible train station attack was not enough to prevent me from going there but, anyway, it does not make me feel very comfortable.

Maybe what you explain here, even though a little bit annoying for you, makes people feel a little safer.

I always heard that Kunming is a quiet city, with a low level of crime. Is it really like it?

 

A big hug from Barcelona,

 

Gerard

[ouyangjun]

I lived in Shanghai for many years and never had this happen, but about a year ago I moved to Suzhou and a few months in I had a similar situation happen to me. Two policemen showed up at my door, and they told me they were checking the legality of people living here. I showed them my papers, they wrote down a bunch of information and were on their way.

[Silent]

In 2008 it happened several times to me that after checking in at a hotel the police came checking on me. Can't say it helped me feeling safer...

[abcdefg]

#3 -- Meng Lelan --

Surely you got nice language practice and practical application of your language skills in this educational scenario.

 

They immediately exchanged nervous, "what do we do now?" glances when they saw my white face. It would have been pretty awkward, and probably more complicated, if I had not been able to converse with them in Chinese.

 

#4 -- Gerard --

I always heard that Kunming is a quiet city, with a low level of crime. Is it really like it?

 

Kunming seems safe enough, though I don't really know, statistically. What I do know is that there are some bad pockets which have high rates of crime. One local friend is a police officer with 10 or 12 years experience and he made me aware of some of those places back when I was house hunting. They are called 市中村, which as I understand it means a "small village within the city." Most residents of those places all came from the same mountain or valley originally, all speak the same dialect, and are very close knit. Outsider are decidedly unwelcome.

 

But fortunately I don't live in one of those spots. My small apartment complex is comprised of old buildings, six-story red brick walk-ups, with stable tenants, lots of them older. The elderly night watchman 看门人  locks the gate every night at eleven. In the daytime, people make the rounds on their three-wheel bicycle carts shouting loudly to solicit broken furniture and appliances 收废品 or offering to sharpen your knives 磨刀。It has taken a while to be able to understand what they are saying. 

[Meng Lelan]

They immediately exchanged nervous, "what do we do now" glances when they saw my white face. It would have been pretty awkward, and probably more complicated, if I had not been able to converse with them in Chinese.

 

 

An educational scenario for them as well. I trust you were utilizing your well practiced and oft rehearsed opening dialogue of New Practical Chinese Reader in Chapter 5:

Cops: 请问， 这是abcdefg的宿舍吗？

abcdefg:   是， 请进， 请坐。 请喝点茶。

Cops: 谢谢。  

[icebear]

It's not unheard of in Beijing, although the purpose is rooting out illegal residents - with a focus on 外地 rather than 老外. I'd guess locals (true locals) support it, given their regular griping about the other groups... can't say if that's true in Beijing.

 

Wouldn't happen in nicer complexes, which is perhaps why some have never seen it in Shanghai (assuming you lived well there!).

[abcdefg]

Wouldn't happen in nicer complexes, which is perhaps why some have never seen it in Shanghai (assuming you lived well there!).

 

My Kunming digs, though comfortable enough, are not very flash or upscale.

 

[Kelby]

My Kunming digs, though comfortable enough, are not very flash or upscale.

IMG_1359.JPG IMG_1357.JPG

Looks a lot like my old place here in Zhengzhou my roommate and I were the only white people, and actually the only people who weren't retired school teachers or their family.

The story reminds me of a time when my company called me up out of the blue and told me I needed to meet them at the police station. A very kind 警察叔叔 then followed us back to our little apartment, talked to some of the neighbors, took down my document numbers, and left. Never heard another peep from anyone on what it was about. Suppose that's a good thing.

[raydpratt]

I don't know how China works, legally, so I do not know what to think of two policemen coming unaided to a door and asking for papers. I do know what to think of police, or, more accurately, human beings acting as police, and abcdefg probably met some very intelligent police. It sounds like they did a quick character check, face to face.

[zhouhaochen]

@Gerard

Kunming, like most of China is pretty safe. The chance of another terrorist attack is very very low (it didn't really make much sense that it happened there in the first place) and the chances that you would be there at that time are so small that I would be more worried about being hit on the head by a coconut.

Whatever your reasons are to go or not go to Kunming (or anywhere in China really) safety concerns should not really play any major part in that consideration.

[raydpratt]

About ten minutes ago, at the corner of Avenida Del Sol and Calle Herculo in Tucson, Arizona, USA, some jilted wazoo shot his ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend in the street. I heard the arguing, the shots and the screams, and I walked out into the street with one of my family member's .357 magnum. The jilted gentleman was shouting loud, angry obscenities at the lady who was kneeling over her shot boyfriend. I stayed cool. I wasn't going to rush in or start shooting if no further violence ensued. The shooter then sped off in his truck. I returned the gun to my family member and we called the police (I am not legally allowed to carry a gun as an ex-felon unless it fits the affirmative defense of protecting one's self or others from imminent harm, and that circumstance was met).

 

I think our world is just getting generally more dangerous, even in Kunming.

[ouyangjun]

 

 

Wouldn't happen in nicer complexes, which is perhaps why some have never seen it in Shanghai (assuming you lived well there!).

@icebear - In theory that makes sense, but not always true.  I lived in nice places in Shanghai, and I live in an even nicer complex in Suzhou where the police came to my door.  The Chinese that live here seem pretty well-off, and other than Chinese there are a few other white faces and quite a few more Japanese.  Seems they were not looking for illegal local 外地 because the I'd think the chances are low that they'd be living in this complex...  But who knows for sure.  In any case they were two young guys who were really polite and did the job as fast as possible so not to bother me.  I think it's just a thing that happens in China from time to time, and it may be that certain districts or neighborhoods issue crack downs from time to time.

[kdavid]

At least it wasn't a SWAT team kicking down my door and tossing in flash-bangs as part of a mistaken-address drug raid.

 

 

Funny story...

 

Years ago we had a teacher come through our school. The teacher was placed in an apartment near his home branch (as most teachers are). His apartment was in a standard Chinese apartment block.

 

For some odd reason, this teacher's apartment key also managed to open other people's front doors. On perhaps his second or third day here, he mistakenly went up one or two extra floors and opened "his" front door. He was surprised to see a Chinese family--in their underwear--walking around in his apartment. He quickly closed the door and then realized he had managed to enter the wrong apartment (with *his* apartment key).

 

He ran down to his apartment, closed the door, and tried to forget about the issue.... Until his front door was kicked in by Chinese police and he was arrested for espionage. The charges alleged against him were that he was a foreign national who had procured "skeleton keys" for normal Chinese citizens' homes. He sneaked into homes and spied on everyday people, reporting his findings back to his home country.

 

We eventually got it sorted out, and the charges were dropped.

 

What astounded me about this event was not that his apartment key managed to open other peoples apartments, but that the police actually arrested and attempted to charge him for spying.

[msittig]

We get a police visit about once a year, identical to abcdefg's but without the police coming into our home, just asking if there have been any changes to the residents of our apartment, update passport numbers, etc. Actually we're on pretty good terms with the guy who does it, since he's also the gentleman to who we pay our rental tax.

[tysond]

 

 

He sneaked into homes and spied on everyday people, reporting his findings back to his home country.

 

Diary excerpts:

 

Day 27, I entered unit 7 on the 6th floor.  Once again, a Chinese character hangs in the hallway - is it a code?  A warning?  Dust patterns suggest it was also put up recently, maybe early Feb?  Perhaps it signals solidarity and embracing socialist principles?  I am tempted to turn upside down as if to remind this family that money, too, has its place in the world.  But who knows if it is upside down or right side up or sideways?  Also I cannot disturb the residence or I may be caught, and my handlers at Sunnybrook English school may need to shut down the entire school, and I'd certainly have trouble getting another visa.

 

Examination of the kitchen reveals an incredible array of fruits.  But for what purpose when there are so few people living in this apartment?  Surely they cannot be snacking on fruits all day?  I am careful to look for booby traps - the roof is almost blocked by overly ornate chandeliers which look heavy and dangerous -- they may be rigged to fall on any agents who try to penetrate the house -- I cannot believe such monstrous lighting fixtures are here for decorative purposes only.  

 

My footsteps are light -- which is fortunate as I now see this family (if they are indeed a real family!) has left their mother-in-law sleeping in an wooden armchair in the corner of the room.  Her hands are marked with the efforts of cooking and cleaning... I wonder if she must do all the chores for the family?  Why is she not in a nursing home enjoying her twilight years?  Why must she toil so late in life?  Is this a punishment for inharmonious thinking?

 

Day 43, Sneak into apartment 11 on Floor 19.  Elevator broken so quite a hike up here.  There's a dog in this house but that's why I carry bacon (learned that my first week on the job!).  Seems like this household is doing well, perhaps they are better connected to the political apparatus. 

 

The furniture in the main living area is arranged in an L shape, as if to allow the entire "family" to view the television at once.  I imagine them watching together so as to receive instructions during the nightly all-country all-channel broadcasts.  Papers and publications abound, on every surface there is a stack of papers.  Perhaps some of these are my targets!  They may contain plans for solar powered submarines, cold fusion water features, nuclear rice cookers, rice powered drilling platforms, or drones made of bamboo. 

 

But alas, I cannot make out the characters.  Perhaps choosing an agent who could read Chinese would have been a wiser choice?  Sure, my TESOL scores were top of the class, and yes, my thesis on "Production of Vowels Under the Influence of Android Phone Technology, or Why 'A' May Not Be for 'Apple' After All" was groundbreaking, I but I am not sure these skills are truly useful in my mission.  So I take photographs to send back to my handlers, maybe they can tell me which of the glossy paper covered publications to investigate further - the one with the girl in a tight dress on the front and a satchel of some chemicals attached to it (psychotropic agent monthly?  germ warfare weekly?) or the one with a picture of batman on the front (paramilitary clearly).  In the child's room there are books with pictures of idyllic agrarian goats and a lady wolf wearing jewelry - obviously propaganda explaining the plight of the innocent proletariat lambs and the corrupt capitalist wolves.

 

Day 74, Almost discovered leaving Floor 12, Unit 22.   Notably, the teenage boys room was full of intriguing secrets - Who are the Gu-An?  Why is there a football in the middle of their name?  They can't be an actual soccer team because I've never even seen China in the World Cup finals or anything like that.  Possibly a black hit squad (wearing green as camouflage).  And who is Angelababy, some kind of super counter agent?  Why else does she have an English name?  Why is she on no less than 12 posters in his bedroom?  Anyway I was just stepping out the door and the most extraordinary girl walked right into me as I was leaving, we both walked out of neighboring doors at the same time. I had to make up a story about visiting my friends in 12-22, but she not only believed me, but started a long discussion, followed by a spot of lunch.   A two hour discussion later, and I have Zhao Le's phone number, I know that she likes spicy noodles, K-Pop, she's 21 and her forearm has very soft skin. Also, I need a cold shower.  

 

Day 85, Skipped my usual breaking and entering gig to see Zhao Le again, it's like the fifth time this week, she's taught me how to use WeChat (or WaySin as she calls it, strangely), and introduced me to some amazing local food call chwar.  Or chuaner.  Or something.  I think it's lamb.  Her hair smells amazing.  I am having trouble concentrating on my mission because she sends me about 20 messages an hour on Wechat, most of them are animations, it's pretty awesome.  Today she got a bit serious and asked me more questions about my friends at Floor 12 Unit 22.  I kind of forgot all about how we met while I was leaving that apartment, and said I didn't actually have any friends in the building.  She looked at me really suspiciously!  Then I remembered and sort of recovered by pretending to not understand what she said.  I do this all the time at Sunnybrook, like when the kids asked me how to spell Potato and I couldn't remember if there is an "E" on the end or not.  Sorry kids, Timboodong!

 

Day 97, Well, after a tumultuous goodbye session at my apartment (let's just say I am glad I don't have a roommate!), Zhao Le went back to her home city saying she had some "shi" to take care of.  I'm alone again and wanted to go back to the mission to keep my mind off it.  But suddenly I can't find my skeleton key.  It was in my trousers pocket so I can't imagine where it has gone.

 

Day 104, No contact from Zhao Le.  She's not answering me on Wechat.  What could have happened?  Skeleton key still missing.   I can't see the papers I'm supposed to grade as my eyes keep clouding up. I just gave them all "A" it doesn't matter.  I can't tell my handler anything but who else can I talk to?  Tried climbing from balcony to balcony to break into apartments but everybody in China seems to shut in their balcony to make another room.  Have been snooping on my neighbors - maybe some burglary going on as many of them seem to have the police visiting.  So I told this story to my handler and say I have to lay low for a while.  He suggested checking out the Qingdao beer festival but I don't want to miss Zhao Le when she gets back.

 

Day 110, Feeling weak from almost constant, umm, stomach disorders.  Is it the chuanr?  Or am I in love?  No wonder they say love is blind if it causes the mess I am making in the bathroom.  It's been a week since I checked into the Sunnybrook facility and I blocked my handler from my WeChat just last week.  I keep seeing shadows around corners - is that her?  Is it my handler?  She posted a picture of spicy noodles on her WeChat but who is she eating them with?  Is that the shadow of an elbow in the photo?   I now know exactly how Jason Bourne feels... well you know, if he was better at teaching English and I was better at fighting.  Actually maybe he's pretty good at teaching English, even though he doesn't talk much in the films... Like so many other things about Bourne, we just don't know.  

 

Day 111, Oh happy day Zhao Le is back in town.  Apparently her phone was broken. Not sure how she was using Wechat then. And her grandmother was sick.    Anyway she just called to check if I was home - I mean she said "confirm" but I think she meant "check".  Of course I am home, now that I know she's coming in 30 minutes, just enough time to jump in the shower, and then shave the depression beard off!   Hang on, there's someone banging really loudly on my door.... better get it before they knock the damn thing off its hinges!

 

No further entries.

[kdavid]

Excellent. I'm forwarding this to people.

[tysond]

Excellent. I'm forwarding this to people.

 

 

 

There goes my work visa.