Fun with Chinese homophones and puns

[Sinolingua]

1.

a.   冬天：能穿多少穿多少；

b.   夏天：能穿多少穿多少。

 

a.   In winter wear as much as you can;

b.   in summer wear as little as you can.

 

2.

剩女产生的原因有两个：

 一是谁都看不上，

 二是谁都看不上。

 

There are two reasons that bring about "leftover women" [i.e., unmarried women]:  one is that everybody looks down on them; the other is that they look down on everybody.

 

3.

地铁听到女孩大概是在给男朋友打电话，“我已经到西直门了，你快出来往地铁站走。

如果你到了，我还没到，你就等着吧。

如果我到了，你还没到，你就等着吧。

 

I heard a girl on the subway who was probably talking to her boyfriend:  "I'm already at Xizhimen.  You hurry over to the subway station.  If you get there first and I haven't yet arrived, then you wait for me.  If I get there first but you haven't yet arrived, then just you wait!)

4.

单身的原因：

原来是喜欢一个人，

现在是喜欢一个人。

 

The reason why there are single people is that they used to like someone [else], but now they like to be by themself.

 

5.

两种人容易被甩：

一种不知道什么叫做爱，

一种不知道什么叫做爱。

 

There are two types of people who are easily cast aside:  one are those who don't know what love is, the other are those who don't know how to make love.

 

6.

想和某个人在一起的两种原因：

一种是喜欢上人家，

另一种是喜欢上人家。

There are two reasons why somebody might want to be with a certain person:  one is that they've taken a liking to that person, the other is that they like to make love with that person.

 

7.

女孩约的男孩迟到了有两个原因：

a.   睡过了。

b.   睡过了。

There are two reasons why a boy is late for his date with a girl: 

a. he overslept

b. he had already slept with her(he does not care to ….)

[Demonic_Duck]

I think I've seen some of these before. I still don't understand #3 though.

[skylee]

This might be suitable for the jokes thread -> http://www.chinese-forums.com/index.php?/topic/1588-jokes/

[Sinolingua]

 

 

I think I've seen some of these before. I still don't understand #3 though.

 

如果你到了，我还没到，你就等着吧。

If I was late, you should wait for me.

 

如果我到了，你还没到，你就等着吧。

If  you were late, just you wait! 

 

Poor man...

[Sinolingua]

 

 

This might be suitable for the jokes thread -> http://www.chinese-f...pic/1588-jokes/

 

Yeah, you can reproduce them.

[Nathan Mao]

Those are hilarious!

 

re, #4: I encountered a similar ambiguity before.

 

There was a song by 彭佳慧 called 《喜欢两个人》 was

that gave me fits for a while. The chorus has the lyrics:

放弃自由喜欢两个人

When I first heard it, I took it as one sentence: Giving up the freedom to like/love two people (implying that from now on, only you!).

But my wife told me there was an implied antecedent/consequence relationship there, making it two sentences: Giving up my freedom (because) I like the two (of us together).

[renzhe]

I ran into these last summer when a Chinese acquaintance presented them to me as the "new HSK test" and "tested" me.

Very funny stuff.