Chinese girls and "handsome" guys?

[Demonic_Duck]

Calling other guys "handsome"? Not all that unusual (though if you really dislike her doing it you could just ask her politely not to do so in future). Sending you pics of handsome guys? Yeah, that's pretty insensitive whether or not you invoke "cultural differences".

[Matty]

Does she say it mostly in the form:

1) The handsome guy used to be my classmate.

or

2) That guy is really handsome.

 

I'd say the first method would be rather normal with a direct translation, however... the second version not so much.

 

So if it's used as a label for the guy, normalish.

If it's used as a description after he's been labelled, I wouldn't like that.

[fabiothebest]

I agree with all of you..though if she doesn't want to change but other things are fine and you love her, I wouldn't leave her. Each case is different of course..you've been dating her for a few months..I have been with my gf for over 5 years, I tolerated it when it happened..one thing I dislike is that when there's a problem she doesn't want to talk, instead I believe talking is the only way for trying to solve a problem..anyway a few months or 5 years is different but I wouldn't behave differently..if as you said your girl is amazing and the relationship is worthwhile, try to tolerate it..I personally am not into breaking up just because something isn't perfect..sometimes I may feel uncomfortable but overall I'm glad to be with my gf..I love her and I wouldn't change her with another girl. Try to talk to her, did you already tell her that you'd prefer she doesn't talk about other guys? It may keep the same way, but telling her is important if you don't feel good. Then just decide on your own. We can talk, but deciding what to do is up to you. If it comforts you, you aren't alone

[EOS]

Thanks for the replies everybody. I have a feeling that my gf is jsing both the 帅哥 but wil also tell me about objectively handsome athletes etc. I think I'll just roll with it for now that I have a little more perspective and try to observe when and about whom she says it. I think the athletes, actors etc she does actually find handsome, but possibly for friemds bf's or random sales people/waiters etc she is using 帅哥.

Matty: One time an old classmate messaged her, she said he is very handsome.. Then went on to tell me he was considered the most handsome guy jn her class by all the girls and that he now works as a model in california. She the. Decided to send me his picture so I could see.

Side-note, I didn't see what all the fuss was about lol.

Thanks Fabio, I also wojld not breakup with my girlfriend over something so minor. I may tslk to her in the future about it if I think it gets a bit overboard. Last night she asked me what asian actress or singer I find attractive, I don't really admire the looks of people like she does though. When I laughed and asked her why (I knew why) she didn't want to say lol.

[EOS]

Oh yeah, 5 hears is great.. I hope to reach that and beyond with my gf .

[ChTTay]

I would agree that iIt seems like this might be something she often says in Chinese and has just translates. At one point, you could just ask her what the Chinese for "handsome" is in the context of her saying it about different guys, waiters etc.

When I was in Chengdu, i noticed everyone says 帅哥 and 美女 alot, more than anything else to get your attention or call a waiter etc.

I still find it abit odd that she sends photos of handsome guys to you. However, if she just says a guy is handsome and isn't particular flirty around any other guys then I wouldn't worry about it.

She might just be letting you know there are plenty of handsome guys out there if you don't continue to impress her haha

[Guest realmayo]

Maybe she's trying to tell you you need to tell her she's beautiful more often

[Lu]

I agree with others that this is not about her intending to do anything about those handsome guys other than admire them.

Somewhat offtopic, but EOS, could you consider proofreading before you post? Your typos are easy to catch and correcting them makes your posts smoother to read.

[ZhangKaiRong]

In Chengdu and Chongqing, I was called a 帅哥 more often than in other parts of China. I also heard a lot more "美女" on the streets.

I don't think you should pay too much attention to this matter.

If you're this worried, you can try talking with her on this topic, but she will definitely freak out (9 out of 10 girls from Sichuan are extremely hot-tempered).

[fabiothebest]

I confirm that most of girls there are hot-tempered..and who said that men rule? Women rule in that part of the world Anyway I love Chongqing (my gf is from there)..Chengdu is similar I guess..I'd like to visit it

[dwq]

People have all kinds of interests; we all have some relatives/friends who like to email the world about things like "Here's the newest cute kitties picture I found!!! OMG they're so CUTE!!!". I imagine she'd be a version of that, only about "handsome" guys than cats. I can also imagine she has similar friends and then they'll drone on about the same topic all the time -- sometimes people just do that, it's not limited to the Chinese.

[Lu]

Women rule in that part of the world

That is no doubt the reason the party and government top is all male; the vast majority of houses in China are owned by men even when they wives have also paid for them; and there is a large male surplus because so many female foetuses are aborted. Among other issues.

[fabiothebest]

I'm sorry that all the government top members are male and I'm against abortion..I hope things will change..I think men and women should have the same rights. From my experience inside families it's the wife who takes decisions and administers money..it may not to be like this in the whole China though..this is what I saw..still from my experience I saw that usually it's the future husband that should buy the apartment or at least pay for the first installment, then husband and wife could pay the mortgage together..also the husband should give some money to his wife's mother in a symbolic manner..then she'll give the money back to the family. This is a tradition. Of course other things can happen and my view could be partial..I didn't do any research and I'm not trying to find a stereotype either..I actually wouldn't like to rule nor to be ruled..I think husband and wife should take decisions together inside the family..

[skylee]

"Large male surplus" at #32 sounds miserable.    More men than women seems to sound better.

 

I admire handsome men (and pretty women) too.  I don't behave like the OP's girlfriend simply because I am too old and there is nobody to tell when I see handsome men (and pretty women).