Dumb Q! How to find a language partner in China

[Johnny20270]

Ok, I know this seems like a really dumb question but I am actually struggling to find a language partner in Beijing.

 

Sounds weird but I seem to be encountering the same problems again and again

 

1) The main problem is that everyone I meet that wants language exchange is of an upper intermediate level and the conversation keeps being drawn back to English. Its easy for them and hard for me so there is this natural (&strong) pull to English. My whole wechat is populated with 20 people like this and my day is more and more being taken up with small talk from conversational fluent coffee shop speakers

 

2) I seem to attract people who actually don't want a language partner but are just lonely or just want someone to whinge about their bf/bad life/job etc

 

3) They live too far away 

 

Yesterday I deleted half the people from my wechat (which caused a bit of upset) but t I have to be disciplined about this. To be blunt, I didn't come to Beijing to make small talk with strangers. 

 

I meet one elderly lady now (60ish) who has practically no English and its actually great, but its probably better to have someone who has rudimentary English so we can converse. Often we are just sitting there unable to understand each other.

 

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

PS:  On the other hand I have heard many times now that lots of westerner guys in Beijing are using language exchange as a excuse to find a pretty Chinese girl so i understand their (females) frustration too. Sort it out guys. If you are suffering from a dose of yellow fever just say so!

 

 

 

 

[studychinese]

Find a girl on the street that looks like an interesting person. Make friends. You don't even need to waste your time teaching her English.

Worked for me in Beijing.

[roddy]

Because apparently the idea of a male language exchange partner is ridiculous. 

 

There are a couple of topics which might make useful reading

http://www.chinese-forums.com/index.php?/topic/43365-efficient-study-with-the-aid-of-a-language-exchange-partner/

http://www.chinese-forums.com/index.php?/topic/44451-getting-more-out-of-language-exchange-while-still-a-beginner/

[anonymoose]

Well, I've had male language exchange partners, although conversation tends to dry up much quicker when talking with guys. Perhaps I just have less interest/motivation to talk with guys.

 

PS:  On the other hand I have heard many times now that lots of westerner guys in Beijing are using language exchange as a excuse to find a pretty Chinese girl so i understand their (females) frustration too.

 

It works both ways though. There are many Chinese girls using language exchange as an excuse to find a western guy, so...
 

1) The main problem is that everyone I meet that wants language exchange is of an upper intermediate level and the conversation keeps being drawn back to English. Its easy for them and hard for me so there is this natural (&strong) pull to English.

 

I think this is the crux of the problem. Basically, you have to be disciplined/assertive enough to stick to Chinese. Remember that language exchange partners are just that - language exchange - and not teachers. You can't expect someone else to take the initiative and teach you.

 

What you need to be doing is set your own learning activities (for example, use a text book, or read Chinese news, or whatever), and then use this as a basis to ask your partner questions. Or for example, you could try writing a diary, and then ask your partner to go through it with you and help make corrections. This is likely to provide plenty of material for further discussion.

 

As I mentioned in another thread, you shouldn't treat language exchange just as casual chatting, otherwise inevitably the language will just tend to English, and you'll end up having the same boring conversations over and over again in English. You need to set your own learning agenda for your interactions with your partner, and then make sure you stick to it.

[Shelley]

One tip I was given is to set a half hour rule. No English for 1/2 and then no Chinese for the other 1/2 an hour. So in one hour 2 people get some practice in their target language.

 

Both parties having some grasp of what they want to achieve as was suggest above is very useful, unless you know the person in daily life you won't have anything to talk about so the advise to pick something to talk about is a good idea.

[studychinese]

The most efficient language exchange is one in which you are not speaking in English at all. Although it isn't really an exchange in that case. 

 

Seriously - the best way is to get completely away from English speakers. Someone that speaks NO English is best. 

[abcdefg]

I meet one elderly lady now (60ish) who has practically no English and its actually great, but its probably better to have someone who has rudimentary English so we can converse. Often we are just sitting there unable to understand each other.

 

Retired people often have the time and may have interesting backgrounds. I've met a lot of them at my morning outdoor group tai chi practice sessions. They also know loads of practical daily stuff about living in my neighborhood.

 

Use a dictionary like Pleco on your smartphone as needed to break through those dead-in-the-water points. See these moments as good opportunities to practice rephrasing questions and comments.