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Posted

Came across the following sentence here:

 

  Quote
随着课程改革的不断深入,广大科学教师改变了观念,将更多的精力投身于科学教研活动之中,使科学课堂教学呈现出前所未有的活跃景象,孩子们真正解放了手脚,学生的主体主动性充分得以体现了出来。

 

Is the last part grammatically correct?

Posted

the grammar is correct, but such express is unusual to be seen.

 

学生的主体主动性=学生作为主体的主动性= The proactive of students who now are the core of education

 

I guess that this paragragh is from a piece of news.

Posted

Which part are you in question about? On first reading I found I was parsing "主動性充分得以體現了出來" incorrectly and thus getting a nonsensical sentence. But when I recognized that 得以體現 was a chunk it was suddenly clear.

Posted

Well, the sentence just seemed a little strange to me. Analysing it bit by bit, I couldn't find a specific fault, but I just wondered if it would be considered to be good Chinese.

Posted

I think its the 了出来 at the end that makes it sound strange to me. Maybe if it was just left at 得以体现 it wouldn't sound quite so strange. I don't think 得以 (  )了出来 is a very natural pair, but I may be wrong.

Posted

wushucrab20, yes, I think that's one of the things that I found odd.

Posted
  Quote
随着课程改革的不断深入,广大科学教师改变了观念,将更多的精力投身于科学教研活动之中,使科学课堂教学呈现出前所未有的活跃景象,孩子们真正解放了手脚,学生的主体主动性充分得以体现了出来。

 

This is what I call 共產中文.

 

「隨著課程改革的不斷深入」—— 共產黨治下,課程改革已經「不斷深入」幾十年。如果他們能在台一萬年,我敢打賭,他們的課程改革也能「不斷深入」一萬年。他們所謂「不斷深入」,實則是反復無常,亂改一通。用「不斷深入」這類詭辭,是為推卸教育失敗之責任,其言下之意,課程改革方向正確,只是(改了幾十年仍)未及根本,所以很多地方不盡人意(遭千夫所指)。

 

「廣大科學教師改變了觀念」—— 冗詞氾濫,是共產中文一大特色。「民眾」、「市民」、「讀者」、「警察」、「教師」等詞,若表泛指,其人數之多寡,在文中多不言自明。說甚麼「廣大人民群眾」、「廣大市民」、「廣大讀者」、「廣大公安幹警」、「廣大人民教師」,拖沓肉麻,令人作嘔。

 

「將更多的精力投身於科學教研活動之中」—— 此話是否暗示這些教師以前就重視科學課(或所謂「科學教研活動」),現在只是更重視?然則以前就重視,那為何須改變觀念呢?豈非自相矛盾?又,這些教師到底是投入精力,還是投身?

 

「使科學課堂教學呈現出前所未有的活躍景象」—— 請問,到底是課堂氣氛活躍,還是教學活躍?

 

「孩子們真正解放了手腳」—— 言下之意,他們以前就非常重視科學課,學生手腳早已「解放」,但沒真正「解放」。「解放手腳」修辭也不當。不重科學課,動手機會少不能以手腳受縛作比。

 

「學生的主體主動性充分得以體現了出來」,文法並無不妥,但還是透著一股共產中文的惡臭。

 

總之,這段文字前言不搭後語,自相矛盾,不知所云。

  • Like 1
Posted

那段話要說得像樣點,可以說:

 

課程改革之後,科學課開始受到重視,學生有了大量動手的機會,非常開心。

Posted

You need the 了 to express that it's completed, otherwise it's quite vague about the 得以體現

Posted

了 is dispensable. 

 

Fairly speaking, I think it might not be the author's intention to write that way but he may have been influenced by the bad style unconsciously. I am sorry if I appeared condescending in #7.  

Posted

Kenny, I always find your insights into Chinese usage style very insightful and interesting. I hope you will keep contributing here well into the future.

Posted

Kenny, I always find your insights into Chinese usage style very insightful and interesting. I also learn a lot from the language in your posts.

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