Asking Chinese people about their age

[chinesekitten]

Okay that might be a stupid question, but anyway... I once read that you don't ask people in China (you don't know well) how old they are. Is that even right? For example I've been chatting with a girl from China lately and now I'm afraid to ask about her name. 

 

My idea was that probalby you shouldn't ask elderly people about their age but teens or people about your own age shouldn't be that big of a problem, am I right?

 

However, I'm feeling quite stupid now. Thanks for your answers! 

[889]

I've never felt that asking about age was a particular taboo in China. I've certainly heard the question often enough.

 

If nonetheless you feel uncomfortable asking the question, then do this the Chinese way and ask a mutual friend whatever you want to know about her.

 

Or, steer the conversation around in such a way that she naturally asks you your age, and you can then pose your question in return.

[Demonic_Duck]

Barely a taboo at all. I'm not sure what country you're from originally; I'd say it's a taboo in my native country, England, but not in China. If “你多大了？” seems too direct, you can also ask “你是哪一年的？” (what year were you born in?)

[skylee]

Or just ask a person what his/her 生肖 is. I don't ask about people's age. But if someone talks about his/her 生肖, or says it is his/her 本命年, or that he/she 犯太歲, then you know that person's age.

[AdamD]

People in China always ask how old I am, and they usually remark on it in a way that would be straight-up rude in the English-speaking West. "Wow! You're as old as my father!" "Wow! Can I call you 'uncle'?"

[tysond]

Don't know where this idea comes from, I get what's your age, how many kids do you have, how much do you earn, what is your rent, what is your disposable income after tax and expenses, how much do you weigh, etc etc.

[Flickserve]

Let's put it this way. Asking a Chinese person age, especially a girl, is a no no unless you know them really well. I can imagine it gets incredibly sensitive if they are near thirty and have no plans to marry.

However, double standards apply and they won't be shy about asking you the same question!

Like skylee wrote, ask them their sign and work it out. :-)

[LiMo]

This topic is rather funny. It shows how outdated some textbook material is. When I first started learning my textbooks basically said that the Chinese respect older people and overestimating someone's age was better. Bear in mind that I've only been learning for a few years. Either times change fast, or people need to update their info. Something tells me things have been like this for a while.

[Shelley]

The way I understand is that you have to ask in the correct way.

 

If you are asking an adult or some one of the same generation as you, you usually ask 你今年多大？

 

If you are asking a child 你今年几岁？

 

And for people older than you, senior citizens, you use 您今年多大岁数？

 

I was under the impression that as long as you asked politely ie using the correct form, it was not taboo to ask.

 

If you are worried about what to say, you could try  "I am xx years old, how old are you?" that way you show willing to share.

[skylee]

Re #9, I don't think that matters much. I simply don't see a big need to ask other people how old they are. But I am in HK, and China is a different place.

[uni419]

 

 

Re #9, I don't think that matters much. I simply don't see a big need to ask other people how old they are. But I am in HK, and China is a different place. 

 

[Shelley]

You might have a need if you want to make sure the girl you are talking to is old enough to be a possible girlfriend, although she may not tell you her real age, so not sure how much it helps

 

Not sure I understand #11

[LiMo]

#11 is warning against possible controversial discussions of sovereignty and national identity  etc. etc. 

But yes Shelley, I was just about to say: It does kind of matter if you are looking for a girlfriend and don't want to be deported as a sex offender 

[Shelley]

Ah yes I understand,  thanks for that LiMo.

[oceancalligraphy]

I don't find the need to ask for people's ages either. It's disrespectful to ask an elder their age. If someone's in school, just ask for their school year. Asking a peer 幾年次 goes hand in hand with asking which schools they went to and their hometowns, and is an indirect way of knowing if they are younger or older than you. Plus it avoids the 實歲 and 虛歲 confusion.

[stelingo]

Given the way the question is often expressed in Chinese '你今年多大？', when answering are you expected give the age you are at that moment in time, or the age you will turn later on in the year on your birthday?

[skylee]

I agree with yst. Nowadays I am careful not to tell people my 生肖 and whn I graduated from university as these are the same as telling people my age.

[Flickserve]

I agree with yst. Nowadays I am careful not to tell people my 生肖 and whn I graduated from university as these are the same as telling people my age.

so it is problem asking your age

[Xiao Kui]

You can memorize the Chinese zodiac and corresponding years and then ask people "你属什么？” When they tell you their animal then you will know their age (or you will be off by 12 years!)

 

I feel like I've heard Chinese people ask this way more than once.... I have not memorized the zodiac except I know that rabbit comes after tiger except in words ending like "ay" such as neighbor and weigh....

[Simon_CH]

I second the above opinions, it really doesn't seem to be a taboo here at all. People ask what my age is, what I think theirs is or often just tell me their age to show in what prime physical condition they are considering their age. Girls are sometimes curious whether I'm able to guess their age and are then disappointed that I can.   All in all a lot more relaxed than in Europe concerning age I'd say.