How do you respond to racist comments in your conversations?

[rezaf]

Yesterday I was watching an episode of 锵锵三人行 and the host clearly had some issues with seeing many black people on his trip to the states and even called a black woman washing Maywether in a picture an orangutan.

Comparing black people to animals or discriminating them in many other ways has occurred many times in my conversations with Chinese people. To a lesser degree my wife has also been criticized by Chinese people in Canada for marrying an 阿三/阿叉 (I'm Iranian).

I don't mean to generalize or claim that other nationalities don't have tons of issues with racism but saying it aloud as if it is an accepted fact in a normal conversation seems a bit odd for me. Sometimes I don't know how to react. Should I point it out to them or should I just ignore it? So far I just tend to change the subject and let it pass because I know I can't change the way those particular people think but what would you do?

[ZhangKaiRong]

Just ignore it. You can't really change this kind of Chinese behaviour. Even education can't help to ease it, as I met graduates from top universities who tend to speak racist comments. It's not just the colour of your skin that can change behaviour towards you, the same happens if you reveal your nationality, as most Chinese put you in a category based on the abbreviation in your passport...

[Guest realmayo]

I'm sure I've deployed something like 这可能是文化不一样吧，你一定知道我们西方一般就不怎么说. But that would be with friends or in a conversation I wanted to move on to other footings. I agree with ZKR that you probably can't change how people think generally, but you can change how they talk to you about these things.

[Shelley]

Ignore it, don't draw anymore attention to it.

[Demonic_Duck]

If it's blatantly racist, challenge it. If it's just a bit insensitive, you don't need to challenge it as such, but pointing out that some people would find it offensive might be helpful.

 

And keep a note of it for the next time someone tries to claim racism doesn't exist in China.

[Lu]

You can point it out if you feel up to it: this thing you said is rather racist/I'm sure you don't have bad intentions, but using that word/saying these things is very offensive. You won't change the world right away, but at least you give people the information they need to do better in the future, if they want to. Sometimes this will be useless and/or sometimes you just won't be in the mood to point it out, and in the end it's up to you.

 

If it's with friends, there is more room and also more need to point it out. If they like you, and X thing hurts you, they should know that so that they can do their best to avoid saying X thing in the future, which they would want because since you are their friend they don't want to hurt you.

[studychinese]

Keep in mind that not every person making a racist comment is unconditionally racist. For example, someone told me "I hate all people of your race, but I like you". What is one to think of that? Should I just denounce? He made an exception for me so it is likely that his racism is highly conditional. There are quite a few people that say that only white people can be racist, so there is that too.

[Demonic_Duck]

Keep in mind that not every person making a racist comment is unconditionally racist.

 

I think very few people are unconditionally racist, and even fewer people are unconditionally not racist (though they do exist).

 

For example, someone told me "I hate all people of your race, but I like you". What is one to think of that? Should I just denounce?

 

Assuming you're in a position where you feel able to denounce what they've said without undue risk (physical, psychological, societal etc.) to yourself, you absolutely should denounce it. Saying "I hate everyone of your race except you" is repugnant, and even more repugnant for the fact that it shows the person is able to maintain their irrational hatred even when the counterexample is staring them right in the face.

[MarsBlackman]

How would you handle it in your own country? I'm a firm believer of not compromising your values and ideals just because you're in China simply because something that isn't acceptable at home is acceptable in China. I think foreigners over compromise on cultural differences when dealing with the Chinese. It's one thing to preach, but I feel it's perfectly acceptable to make some course corrections during a conversation. I wouldn't overthink this. If someone makes a racist comment. Tell them it's not okay, especially if it is directed at you, drop it, and move on. You can't change everyone. However biting your tongue to prevent offending someone who made a racist comment doesn't make sense to me.

[LiMo]

I'm totally with Demonic_Duck on this. I'm kind of disappointed with all the recommendations to just ignore it. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way advocating going on your own civil rights campaign. I'm aware that the situation regarding such issues is very different in China from how it is in Europe or the US. By all means don't cause trouble and don't waste your breath, but think of a way of quietly drawing attention to it or showing at least some disapproval. These things don't change unless they are challenged in some way, no matter how small. Just look at the gargantuan effort it took to change the situation in the US. Could they have gotten anywhere if people just ignored it because "there's nothing you can personally do to change it." If it's people you are familiar with then I strongly recommend trying to change their opinions on such things (in as diplomatic and peaceful a manner as possible of course). 

 

Pick your battles.

Be nice.

Hold your ground.

 

If someone actually wants to get into it with you then pick your examples and let fly. Chinese people have experienced terrible discrimination and persecution in the past (I'm given to believe they are generally very aware of this fact), draw parallels between their own "harmless" prejudices, and what such views can and do lead to, and ask if this person honestly thinks that's a fair and moral position to be supporting. 

[Silent]

 

I agree with ZKR that you probably can't change how people think generally, but you can change how they talk to you about these things.

I think you definitely can change how people think (though far from all). An open dialog, a different perspective, may make people think. Just changing how people talk about something without change of mind is utterly useless. It just makes that an open and honest dialog becomes impossible and lying and deception becomes the norm.

 

 

I'm a firm believer of not compromising your values and ideals just because you're in China simply because something that isn't acceptable at home is acceptable in China.

 

I'm a firm believer in keeping an open mind, the simple fact that something is not acceptable at home does not mean it's a bad thing. It just means that the culture is different. Things that may seem barbaric to you may be a better practice then your own. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion, it is however wrong to force it onto other people. If you're not willing to question your own indoctrinations when confronted with different ones I think you better stay home.

[陳德聰]

I usually confirm what I heard a bit incredulously: 不好意思，你剛才是把人家描述成猩猩嗎？ I often find that this gets the message across quite clearly, and if it doesn't, I will press further. I think it generally works better if you fit the category they are making ignorant comments about, because first they'll discover you understood them and be a bit embarrassed, and then they will feel awkward if not apologetic.

[li3wei1]

True story: I'm at a roommate's wedding in Taipei, at a table full of Chinese strangers. The woman opposite me says to her young daughter, "use your chopsticks correctly, or you'll be like Uncle Stupid [pointing at me]". I turned to the person next to me, and said, loud enough for all to hear "Did she just call me Uncle Stupid?". I then took my chopsticks, and grabbed a peanut from the dish in the middle of the table and popped it in my mouth.

[Yang Chuanzhang]

Eric Fish has an old post on his blog about this topic with some interesting discussions in the comments: http://sinostand.com/2012/10/14/confronting-a-racist/

[MarsBlackman]

 

 

I'm a firm believer in keeping an open mind, the simple fact that something is not acceptable at home does not mean it's a bad thing. It just means that the culture is different. Things that may seem barbaric to you may be a better practice then your own. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion, it is however wrong to force it onto other people. If you're not willing to question your own indoctrinations when confronted with different ones I think you better stay home.

Holding to your own values does not mean you don't have an open mind. Its possible to believe in something yet still keep an open mind by challenging your own beliefs and accept that there might be more than one truth in this world. Just because certain behavior and cultural norms may be acceptable in China, doesn't mean I have a free pass simply because I'm in China. I'm not Chinese. I don't necessarily have to agree with everything, but I can accept it, be at peace with it, question and understand why people do it, compare it to my own society and culture, and ultimately learn from it. We all have friends in this world who have beliefs we disagree with, yet they're still our friends. That doesn't mean we have to compromise who we are and what we believe in to be friends with them, does it? Why can't that same concept extend to foreign societies and cultures?

Back to the main topic, pick your battles. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." If someone is openly criticizing your wife, I think you have a reasonable justification for saying something. 

[Mouseneb]

Pick your battles for sure, and take good care of yourself while you do it, this stuff can be wearying.

Had an incident a few weeks ago taking a Korean tourist to a local seafood restaurant. A guy who worked there got very upset that the Korean man didn't speak Chinese and suspected him of being Japanese. He got in my face and shouted that if the tourist was Japanese he wouldn't allow him into the restaurant!

That was not a battle I wanted to fight. Smiled, said I understood, and walked on down the street to another seafood restaurant.

[Silent]

 

Holding to your own values does not mean you don't have an open mind.

 This is correct, you wrote and I reacted however on the remark:

 

firm believer of not compromising your values

which to me implies you're not willing to question your values. If you're willing to question your values with an open mind, thus risk compromising them, and come to the conclusion that you don't want to change your position that's fine. If you just reject the other values because you're brought up with a different set that's imho not fine. It is however the easier thing to do and as it's impossible to re-evaluate all your values at once even defendable to some extent. If you go a step further and preach your own value set without first properly evaluating the validity that's imho just wrong, I call that disrespect.

 

I guess for the subject under discussion, racism, the point of view of race equality is the better one despite that in some cases and respects a racist point of view can be valid. In my experience most racism is based on ignorance and misinformation, so little reason to go into a debate about the subject. Just a bit of information and new perspective may get people to think.

[imron]

use your chopsticks correctly

I recommend practising to use chopsticks with your non-dominant hand (it only takes a short while to get the hang of it).  There's nothing quite like swapping hands to show up people who make silly comments about foreigners and chopsticks.  For extra special fun, use chopsticks in both hands at once!

[Kenny同志]

Many of them do not necessarily have bad intentions. They are just following sheep or looking for a sense of superiority. Point it out to them that it is rude to say so and most will stop.

[Kenny同志]

For extra special fun, use chopsticks in both hands at once!

 

Imron, you should make a video and show us how you do this!