Beijing chicks vs. Seoul Chicks

[alwaysstriving]

When I taught in Seoul I found that the Korean dating scene wasn't that much different than back home (I'm Canadian). In a nutshell: If you're getting laid back home then chances are that you'll continue to get laid in Korea, if you're not getting laid back home then don't expect being in Korea to change that. 

Beijing has been much different and I've had quite a bit of luck here (not bragging...just details). I'm pleasantly surprized. I would have expected more luck if I was teaching in the country side or a poor part of China (and a poor Chinese girl wanted a better life) but I would have expected Beijing to be about the same as Seoul/Toronto or any other place which is affluent by global standards. 

I have some ideas as to why this may be BUT what I am curious about is if this has simply been my experience or if it is common and normal for Chinese girls from the big Chinese cities to desire western men. Some of my red neck Canadian friends would joke that I might marry a Korean gold digger, ha! Little did they know that Korean gold diggers are after KOREAN doctors, dentists, lawyers and I.T. engineers who work at Samsung. 

I don't mean to by cynical, but there is a very good chance that having the opportunity to live in Canada is part of what they want. So long it is part of the package and not the end all and be all then I can live with it. I do find it a little weird that a beautiful Chinese girl who has an intermediate level of English (not good enough English to find a half decent job in Canada) would even want to give up her life in Beijing. She (presumably) has family, friends, roots here and if her English is intermediate then she is probably from a fairly well off family. In my humble opinion she would probably have a better life in Beijing (again, for someone from the country side it would be a different story). 

When I dated Korean chicks in Seoul I found them to be stuck up and arrogant and I dreaded every second of the time that we spent together (shopping, mountain hiking etc) and I could not wait to get to the bedroom. With Beijing chicks, I actually do enjoy being with them and the time that we spend together. To western men who have taught in both Korea and Beijing: Did you notice the difference and did you find that you were desired more in Beijing than you were back home/in Korea? 

Best Wishes

[coolnicholas]

But i think it's much more easy to fuck white chicks

[daofeishi]

I found them to be stuck up and arrogant and I dreaded every second of the time that we spent together

 

I'm sure the feelings were reciprocated.

[Lu]

Why a man would date a woman he detests spending time with really is beyond me. I though the point of dating was to find someone you like, love even. Turns out I've been doing it wrong all along then!

 

Presumably, OP is not actually dating fowl but human women. If so, it's perhaps interesting for him to know that human women are capable of speech and thought. I know, what a concept, right? Most men only discovered this in the last century or so, so OP can be forgiven for having missed the news. Now, given that women are capable of speech and thought, OP can perhaps consider discussing his thoughts on cultural differences, expectations in life, and even dating preferences with actual Chinese women. It's important that when doing this, he treats them as if they were real people. I understand this might be difficult, but he may find that this approach can elicit more in-depth responses.

[Chris Two Times]

Whenever I come across posts written in a similar vein to the OP's, my immediate reaction is: is he taking the p!ss or is he for real? Whatever the case may be, I just can't take such posts seriously. 

 

I did downvote the OP mainly for three reasons: obtuseness, lack of originality, and obnoxiousness (oh! alliteration!).

 

Warm regards,

Chris Two Times

[Guest realmayo]

It's important that when doing this, he treats them as if they were real people.

 

I don't see where he doesn't treat them as real people. He's interested in their motives, their desires for the future, their sense of place in their own society (and of course how these impact on their interest in Canadian men).

 

I can understand the downvotes because these have often ended up, like Chris2x says, as boring and repetitive discussions, and a bit gross. But the OP does speak something of a truth (about how western men get treated in China) -- however Chinese men and western women in particular don't like hearing much about it, so perhaps it's a topic best avoided in polite, mixed company.

[Chris Two Times]

A couple of comments:

 

I just felt the use of the term "chicks" was a bit disrespectful and a better term could/should have been used.

 

The OP needs to do his homework. His expectation was:

 

I would have expected more luck if I was teaching in the country side or a poor part of China

 

Quite the opposite, very generally speaking, those places tend to be more conservative. I would think that "more action" would be had in the first-tier and second-tier cities.

 

I do find it a little weird that a beautiful Chinese girl who has an intermediate level of English (not good enough English to find a half decent job in Canada) would even want to give up her life in Beijing.

 

Not necessarily. Exactly because of the above listed, nowadays, there may be a very good chance that she may have absolutely no interest in leaving Beijing whatsoever.

 

It seems that the OP equates "gettin' lucky" with the women expecting a one-way flight ticket and a green card in return. Maybe, maybe not, but I am finding that in 2015 China, things may not necessarily be in line with that idea. Ask around what "419" means in the Chinese parlance of our times, for instance.

 

I'm not at all averse to bringing up this topic (I have been a single white heterosexual American male in the China and have played the dating game here a fair bit), but exactly as realmayo said, I find that these topics never really bring up anything fresh/original and instead, very quickly degenerate into a cesspool of crass generalizations, disrespectful comments, and grotesque grossness (oh! tautology!).

 

It can be a fascinating topic, from a sociological/anthropological/contemporary cross-cultural studies bent, and I would love to see a conversation on this carried out in a sophisticated and respectful manner, but alas, that never happens and I don't really expect one to come from this thread either.

 

Imma gonna jump the gun with this next comment as no one has made any reference to such a notion whatsoever (yet!) when it comes to this topic, but nonetheless, I can't resist:

 

STAY OUTTA SANLITUN.

 

Warm regards,

Chris Two Times

[abcdefg]

@Alwaysstriving --

 

I have some ideas as to why this may be...

 

What are your ideas and theories about why you have had more success with the ladies in Beijing than in Seoul? Please share something of substance with us that would move this thread out of the realm of mere idle boasting. 

 

Last I recall you were desperately seeking advice on where to find antidepressant medication in China. Could the situation be different now because you, yourself are somewhat different? For example, is your outlook on life better? Are you more cheerful; more outgoing; more sociable?

When any given interpersonal situation changes, it is usually because there has been some internal change in one of the main actors. The dynamics become altered. It can be misleading to look only to external factors for an explanation. For example, it would be a mistake to attribute what you have experienced entirely to some difference between Beijing ladies and Seoul ladies.

 

Success with making friends (or with finding lovers) is not like the weather; it doesn't "just happen" in some realm outside our control.

 

Must tell you in all candor that by now you are coming across as a "feather merchant" who just idly starts eye-catching threads, then laughs and moves on.  Makes it difficult to take you seriously. Shows poor judgment; gives you a bad reputation.

 

Hope you can start to turn that around by making some intelligent and thoughtful replies here. Try to contribute something of value to the forum.

 

It can be a fascinating topic, from a sociological/anthropological/contemporary cross-cultural studies bent, and I would love to see a conversation on this carried out in a sophisticated and respectful manner, but alas, that never happens and I don't really expect one to come from this thread either.

 

At this point in time, I must agree with Chris Two Times, in #7, above.

[edelweis]

It's not the first time that the OP starts a thread about his relationship with women,

only to disappear until the next time he feels like starting a new thread about this same topic or his visa/meds/whatever problems.

 

It gets repetitive and boring and bordering on trollism. -1.

 

 

 

Edit: fantastic editing job abcdefg.

For the record, when I wrote this post, abcdefg's post above contained only the quote and the one question at the top.

[Observer]

@edelweis: +1

 

Not only repetitive and boring, but also embarrassing and sad. The OP needs to find another forum where he can indulge in his fantasies.

[Observer]

@coolnicolas "But i think it's much more easy to fuck white chicks"......I guess you find lots of things easy in your dreams.

[abcdefg]

This thread is a mess.

 

My first reply grew as I tried to think about the issue and be helpful. Now I regret having said anything, since I cannot believe the original post was sincere.

[Chris Two Times]

abcdefg,

 

I, on the other hand, don't regret saying anything. Like you, I did feebly attempt to steer this "in the right direction" (whatever that means).

 

Having said that, I questioned the OP's sincerity from the get-go and speculated that this thread would be a mess (it actually was a mess starting in post numero uno).

 

Ah well, I couldn't resist...slow Saturday night had I--wasn't following the OP's lead and I wasn't out and about playing Mr. Saturday Nite. 

 

Warm regards,

Chris Two Times

[Chris Two Times]

minus sixteen!

[Lu]

He's interested in their motives, their desires for the future, their sense of place in their own society (and of course how these impact on their interest in Canadian men).

He seems mainly interested in fucking them, and doesn't seem to see women as real people one might want to relate to (or talk to about their motives and desires). He sees only women that either want to fuck him or that he wants to fuck and is only interested in their motives when those impact his getting laid.

 

I'd say that for the sake of the women who sleep with him, I hope that at least he's good in bed, but given his attitude in that post I strongly doubt it. For most women he sleeps with, he'll mainly be a lesson learned about what kind of guy not to give the time of day.

[c_redman]

Protip: Sometimes private thoughts should stay private.