Spousal abuse question

[outcast]

I am planning on going to China in a couple of months, and I need to know something.

If I see spousal abuse occuring in the streets, and no one is doing anything about it, what can I as a foreigner do to stop it?

I am planning on being an english teacher for a year or two (depending on how much money I have fore I move onto phase 2 of my plan) and I do not want to do something that would jeopardize my position. On the other hand I am also not willing to let someone live in pain and misery so I must be able to do something. But what?

[in_lab]

I'm going to go out on a limb, but I don't think think stopping spousal abuse on the streets is going to be a major concern when you get to China. Why do you think you're likely to encounter that?

If you're interested in counseling people, you could start by learning Chinese.

[roddy]

If you are concerned about pain and misery then public wife-beating is going to be approximately 254th on your list of things to be worried about. Poverty, lack of access to health care and unsafe working conditions are going to take up most of your time.

If you do happen to see someone beating their wife (and in 5 years, I haven't) then your options are pretty much the same as they are anywhere else - intervene, at your own physical risk, or call the police, who are unlikely to do much.

Basically, the answer to 'what can I do to stop it' is 'donate a percentage of your income to an NGO working on women's rights'.

Roddy

[gougou]

For a more lively discussion of the subject, refer to this thread.

[wushijiao]

Also, even if there is domestic abuse, most likely the family would project an outward facade of happiness anyway.

what can I as a foreigner do to stop it?

As a foreigner, I would generally recommend that you use extreme caution when getting involved in any dispute among locals. If you feel that you have to do something, call the police.

[in_lab]

Donating money is probably most effective, but I can understand if outcast would rather do something more active.

On a related note, any observations about violence against women in media? When I used to watch Spanish television, women were always getting slapped. I don't have any impression like that about Chinese TV.

[trevelyan]

What's phase two?

[peeyuwu]

June 28, 2005

Dear OutCast:

What would your reaction be if you observed spousal abuse on the streets of your own country? I would humbly suggest that you exercise extreme caution while being a "foreigner in foreign land" and still acclimatizing to the local customs and mores. Any unfortunate mishap, however slight, could easily escalate the situtation to the detriment of ALL. Your compassion is certainly admirable, however, I wonder about the appropriateness of interjecting oneself into an "apparently abusive situation" when one might not have all the facts and details. Furthermore the couple involved infrequently join forces and attack the intervener. If one is truely moved to assist, I would hazard to sugest that a report to the local authorities would be the most appropriate recourse (suggested by others as well).

Hope you enjoy your trip.

P5

[hanyu]

Spousal abuse could happen in any land, not just in China.

'no one is doing anything about it', sometimes, sometimes in your country too.

I don't worship such slanderous tales, you will enjoy yourself there.

[大肚子]

I would have to say that though I've never seen spousal abuse in my 2 years here I have seen evidence of it twice. Which is not much more than I would expect in any western country. Furthermore it's incredibly unlikely you would witness it on the street, due to the loss of face involved. In the highly unlikely event that you did I would expect someone else to get involved [edit: less sure about this having read some of the posts in the thread gougou posted]. Lastly, I think it's a very bad idea to involve youself in domestic abuse unless you know the people well. It tends not to be appreciated by either party, whatever the culture. Just ask any police officer.

I only once had to intervene in a dispute here, when the driver of the taxi I was in was assaulted by a guy who had crashed his car while making rude gestures at us (absurd, I know). I remained non-agressive the whole time (I just stood in the doorway of the door he had opened with my arms outstretched). Finally, after about 5-10 minutes, I told the Chinese friend I was with to call the police (in Chinese, even though she understood English perfectly) and they finally left. As wushijiao said, though, this is the kind of thing that should only be done with caution. I was at my university, with the security guard watching (and otherwise being completely useless) and had made a judgement that this guy was largely front and unlikely to do anything to me or my friend. As with any country, though, there are people here who could do you serious harm if they wished.