How to talk to dirty in Chinese...?

[Caladriusse91]

I have a girl coming over in a couple of days.

 

I know certain words, but they are probably words that would be used by your doctor....

 

As for slang, I really don't know, and I don't really feel like asking my teacher. A dictionary has some words, but to be honest I don't know what connotations they have...

 

Basically I want to use words that are right in the moment, not words that will make her laugh or put her off. OR that are too vulgar.

 

So...

 

Pussy - is 阴穴 acceptable?

 

to fuck - can I just use 弄 or 做 but surely there are other words. 打炮? I think I remember some guy telling me that Chinese people say 砰 but I have no idea if it was a joke. Or 啪啪啪啪， is that even a verb?  Surely there are other words...

 

My ahem... member - I have no idea... 黄瓜, I don't think I would fell comfortable saying that...

 

'hard'/'ready' - you know what I mean...

 

'wet'/'ready' - ........

 

tits - again I don't know... has anybody heard of 豆豆 or 逗逗 or is that another joke that I failed to understand...

 

sexy/hot - 肉感 right? anything else

 

arse - ???

 

 

Anything else is much appreciated. And I really mean it - very much appreciated.

 

 

In the past I have tended to say nothing or just speak English.

 

Let it be said that I am learning this to deepen HER experience on the pure premise of cultural exchange with the long term aim of strengthening Anglo-Sino relations, so that our two great nations can live side by side in harmony.

 

So no sniping guys!!

 

 

 

 

 

[li3wei1]

I think you should start by using sign language and ask how she would like these things to be refered to.

[onebir]

Try googling "making out in chinese"

[Lu]

I think you should ask her. Point & ask her what you should call this, and this, and that, and what other words are there for doing this, what would different types of people call that, etcetera. You can use this as foreplay. Seems to me that will be a very effective way to both learn the relevant words and to have a good time with this woman.

 

In things like this, everyone has their preferences: some people like cute words, some like detached words, some very coarse words, etc. If two people prefer a different set of words, this can be an impediment. If they like each other's company enough, they'll figure out some modus that works for them. At this point, you don't have a preferred set of vocabulary yet, so if you follow her lead, you can be sure you're on the same page on this. And if she does laugh, just laugh with her, have her say something silly in English, whatever. Laughing is good.

 

If you do want to prepare, consider this book (I haven't read it myself, but it seems relevant).

[Shelley]

I have a copy of that book and it is exactly what you need.

[li3wei1]

Who needs words, anyway? Are you planning on talking your way into her pants? Use your eyes, your lips, your fingers. When it's all done, then you can talk about it all you want, and learn the words.

[Demonic_Duck]

Agree with Lu and li3wei1. But as a general rule, Chinese people are often very roundabout when talking about this stuff, even when talking to the people they do it with. Depending on the type of person she is and her previous experience (or lack thereof), she might even be offended if you talk too openly about it. That's not to say you can't talk about it... just that you should approach talking dirty like you approach sex itself - with lots of foreplay.

[Demonic_Duck]

With that in mind...

Penis 下面

Vagina 下面

Breasts 上面

Ass 后面

Sex 一起

There are more explicit words, but most of them are only used by "流氓" (don't ask me why I know them *shifty eyes*). Also this list isn't exhaustive, and isn't sorted by the tone of the words (some scientific, some are very vulgar, some more neutral or even cutesy, some are humorous or rarely used).

Penis 阴茎/小弟弟/小鸡鸡/鸡巴/命根子/胯下之物

Vagina 阴道/阴穴/逼/粉木耳

Breasts 胸/乳房/咪咪/奶子/渣子

Clitoris 阴蒂

G spot G点

Balls 睾丸/蛋

Sex 做爱/爱爱/操/啪啪啪

Sexy 性感

Ass 屁股/臀

Anus 肛门/菊花/屁眼

Anal sex 肛交/爆菊花

Oral sex 口交

Fellatio 吹箫

Cunnilingus 舔蒂

Sperm 精子

Semen 精液

Erection 勃起了/硬了/站起来了

Wet 湿了

S&M SM (no "and")

Gay man 男同性恋/男同志/gay/小gay

Lesbian 女同性恋/女同志/啦啦

Bisexual 双性恋

Threesome 三P

Porno A片/黄片/爱情动作片

[陳德聰]

As the result of such an exchange... Can tell you being brought into the world didn't strengthen any international ties lol. That being said, she may actually find "dirty talk" completely off-putting, I mean everyone's different right? If you don't take the advice given to simply ask her, please do not call her boobs 豆豆, I beg you.

[Demonic_Duck]

...Does anyone ever call them that? O_o

[陳德聰]

...Does anyone ever call them that? O_o

No, but OP asked.

[歐博思]

 

 

I'll second or third or whatever that book "D!rty Chinese". I got my copy from a Chinese friend around 4-5 years ago. It's been well loved ever since. Yeah, I'm a perv.

[DernierVirage]

I know that this is language related, but the OP's adolescent fantasies are a bit embarrassing.

[Shelley]

OP's adolescent fantasies

 

Interesting that you think he is an adolescent. I don't disagree, but didn't think about it till you mentioned it.

 

I am no longer an adolescent, but at any age if a boy started conversations with these kinds of words, I would just turn a delicate shade of red and wonder what the best way of going somewhere else was.

 

I would take the advice other people have given and don't say these sorts of things, just make her laugh and feel comfortable and relaxed and let nature take it's course.

[shuoshuo]

Very informative thread. These are words we don't learn in class.

No more 菊花茶 for me...