Finding a Speaking Partner, in China!

[LaoDing]

Yes, on the surface a no-brainer topic. You'd think- but here in Xuchang, Henan Province I'm having the dickens of a time trying to find someone to talk with me for an hour in Chinese- I mean, I'd pay them of course. But sad to say, for whatever reason young people (whom I happen to know most as I'm a teacher) don't want to help me (I'm 52), although students at my university here will gladly take up an hour of time to practice English. Ditto with the 'exchange' lessons I've tried with young company guys, in which I just got used as an English teacher (those lessons did not last long).

I'd like to write more concisely but I'm frustrated. I'd like to find someone older, but everybody's too busy it seems. The perfect person would be someone out of their 20's I'd think (but not mandatory), who ALSO cannot speak English very well (lest it all turn into a big English conversation again). I know how to study grammar, vocab., characters, etc. on my own and I'm an instructor as well so I don't need any help there.

What I really don't need is someone making me repeat tones five times or micro-correcting my syntax. I just need someone to give me a blank stare when he/she doesn't understand and listen to me 'work it out' until he/she does. I also don't need someone discouraging from speaking 河南话. How can I ever understand people if I don't know at least some basics of local lingo?

 

I apologize for the rant. I just thought that there may be some likewise frustrated people out there- living in China and learning the language but not being understood because of lack of practice time. Any ideas of how to meet people?

 

I also frustrate local people as they can't usually understand me. They don't really speak 普通话 here though it is an 儿话 variant (中原方言 in case anyone's curious). It doesn't really help though. 

 

Finally, it has been suggested to me to use the internet to hook up with people for lessons, which for me is exceedingly strange (though I did try it once with a Chinese teacher in Kunming- it was an exchange lesson and didn't last long). I mean come on- you're here IN CHINA where thousands of real live people are speaking Chinese in your neighborhood and you find a teacher on the Internet? Isn't that a sort of waste of a great opportunity? I would think that's something you can do if don't actually live in China, which I definitely do.

 

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not feeling sorry for myself or whining or anything. Just frustrated. I've studied Chinese for a couple of years now, working on HSK 4; my listening is improving; but I can't talk my way out of a paper bag. So I'm just hunting for some ideas on how to find a teacher/partner. Thanks for reading. 

[abcdefg]

Very simple, LaoDing. You've been fishing in the wrong pond. Make friends with one or two retired people. Maybe meet someone at morning Tai Chi practice and go from there.

 

People in China generally retire early. Women at 55 and men at 60. They often have time on their hands. I've even enjoyed friendships with two people who were teachers during their working years.

 

Don't need to structure it as actual lessons with a plan, a text and such. Just meet up for tea or lunch a couple times a week. Explore mutual interests. Old folks usually aren't as greedy for English as the youngsters, which is also a plus.

[roddy]

Also, where are you teaching? The local university seems to have a background in teacher education and if you haven't tried already might be worth investigating. 

[ChTTay]

To echo what ABCDEFG said, might be worth pursuing a hobby outside of language learning and meet people that way. Take up Tai Chi would be an obvious one to meet older people while also benefitting your health. You could also just sit outside (park, communal area) and eventually someone will talk to you. If you're obviously looking at a Chinese book or textbook it might happen sooner. If where you are has tea places (to sit and drink) you could start hanging out there. A friend goes and plays Chinese chess against retired people semi-regularly. He doesn't even care about Chinese, he just likes to play.

I never found the language in Henan to be that hard to understand or be understood. At least what I referred to as "Henan Hua" anyway. The local dialects I've encountered near 焦作 are incomprehensible.

[889]

Yes, I was just going to suggest chess.Or take up some musical instrument that folks play in the park. Maybe opera singing. (Well, maybe not.) Get one of those big brushes and do watery calligraphy while everyone watches. Play cards. Get a songbird. Walk a dog every evening. So many ways to make contacts once you've got some basic Chinese under your belt.

[roddy]

The park's an excellent suggestion. 

[LaoDing]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful suggestions. I can see doing a lot of these activities when I get a little better. In the meantime efforts have paid off (through my daughter, who's learned more Chinese in three months than I did my first year), and I think I have a tutor/language partner now, thanks to her. 

I agree ChiTTay that what is called 'Henan Hua' should not be that hard for people who have learned Putonghua, as it's in the same basic group. Still, I more often than not find it hard to make myself understood here, but found in recent trip to Guangzhou that people understood me much better. In Guangzhou everyone's used to widely differing accents.

Anyway, 'Henan Hua' is really a Zhongyuan, and narrowed further, a Zhengzhou dialect and like most major cities, ZZ speech has been heavily influenced by the media. I bought a book on this dialect (or accent if you prefer) that contains dozens of examples from radio and TV; interesting collection and as you imply, not so divergent from Beijing standard. I don't what dialect you mentioned, but the 罗山 dialect was pretty much impossible for me to understand as well when I was in the area. 

Chinese chess sounds like fun and easy to watch. That would be fun to learn as well. People tend to keep their distance at parks here though. At my university, I could sit at a bench and have half a dozen students approach me- curious about where I'm from, my family, what I do, do I like the food, how long will I stay, if they can have my QQ number...all good stuff- but all in English!

[889]

If you wait for people to approach you, then of course they'll be looking for an English-language partner. Instead, you have to take the initiative: kibitz while watching guys play cards or ask the guy with the chirping bird what he feeds it. Go out and mingle!

[abcdefg]

I can see doing a lot of these activities when I get a little better.

 

Tilt! Why not do at least some of them now? (In addition to whatever you do with your formal language partner.)

[LiMo]

It's good that you seem to have found someone. It seems to me that if you're level of spoken Chinese is really low then no matter if you're in China or elsewhere most people will be reluctant to listen to you for what might be many minutes unless they are getting paid in some tangible way. As you've found out, if they're getting paid in English practice then the situation rapidly devolves into pure English practice. 

 

From the point of view of learning to speak when you don't have a partner, an often overlooked factor is how much listening input you get. I managed to reach "intelligible" without a steady language partner and my speaking experience was very patchy (as yours seems to have been), but I watched a lot of TV shows in my spare time which, I believe, helped a great deal. It may not be for you and I know it's kind of off-topic, but it may be something to consider. Good luck 

[JackTheCrow]

It's quite easy to find a speaking partner, especially if you can speak English. You will be like a flower for mosquitos