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Translation of Over-Descriptive clauses into English


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Posted

Hello Everybody,

 

     I was working on a translation project today and I came across this sentence:

 

于行走间探寻海派文化魅力的“微游上海”以及用浪漫之绳将集体婚礼与城市文化相牵的“玫瑰婚典”等多项活动早已成为经典品牌

 

     I can understand what the sentence is saying in Chinese, but when I try to translate it into English, it seem over descriptive. Especially the clauses describing “微游上海” and  “玫瑰婚典”. So, I just left out the clauses and listed the two nouns mentioned in the previous sentence.

 

     I was wondering, whenever you all translate Chinese into English, especially when there is a part with over descriptive clauses like the sentence above, what approach do you take to translate it?

Posted
  Quote

 

 

“微游上海” and  “玫瑰婚典”.

These are not over descriptive clauses, but names of traveling programs. Besides, that's why there are quotation marks ;) 

  • Like 1
Posted

Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear in my question. I'm aware that 微游上海 and 玫瑰婚典 are the names of traveling programs. I meant the descriptive clauses before them (Everything before 的) that describes them.

Posted

Usually when traslating we put everything - out of respect for the original text and its style. But of course, we change the structure or find a way to express the same meaning in a different way, more sutable in our language. 

Posted

Can break up the massive sentence something like this:

Many events have already become well-known [or classic] brands. Such events include "Shanghai Microtravel", which... Another such event is "Rose Wedding", which...

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 9/18/2016 at 4:46 PM, Edita said:

These are not over descriptive clauses, but names of traveling programs. Besides, that's why there are quotation marks ;)

As if quotation marks aren't massively overused and misused in Chinese writing. :P
Posted

Or keep  it all in one sentence.

 

多项活动, such as 微游上海, which...,. and 玫瑰婚, a show about..., 早已成为经典品牌

  • Like 1
Posted

What Roddy said. The 等 instantly brings out a "such as" in my soul and the power of lists compels me.

Posted

Problem there is that you then have a massive sentence with a huge gap between subject and predicate. Less readable.

Posted

I often break overlong Chinese sentences onto several shorter English sentences. Sometimes this takes some rearranging.

Posted

It is a bit less readable, but I think it's within the realms of acceptability and no worse than the original. Or just rejig it again. Some events have become well-known brands, such as.... and.....

 

I think I'd want to see the rest of the paragraph before deciding. 

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