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Dating a Northern Chinese girl?


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Posted

Take things slow and talk to her about this. If you can't talk with her, the relationship will fail sooner or later. Communication is always important, but even more so in cross-cultural relationships.

 

And don't make too many assumptions. Yes Chinese women as a rule are more conservative than Western women, but not all of them. Yes they are supposed to be married by 25 or so, but not all of them are, not all of them wish to be, and not all parents respond the same way.

 

So talk with her, talk with her, and talk with her more. And talk often. She's also just figuring this stuff out and might not yet know what she wants or why, or change her mind at some point. (As might you.)

 

Good luck, I hope everything works out!

  • Like 2
Posted

If she's quieter around you than her friends, just consider that it may be difficult for her to speak English. I'm not saying that her English is not good, but it still takes more effort to speak in a foreign language than your own.

  • Like 1
Posted

Yeah I've considered that. I mean we mix English and Mandarin. I'd say it's like 70/30 in favor of English. Maybe I should make more of an effort to speak Mandarin to her

Posted

>>" I think you're just underestimating the lack of emotion/interest that she shows."

 

Maybe she doesn't like you.

Posted
6 minutes ago, abcdefg said:

Maybe she doesn't like you.

 

Oh wow I never considered that..

 

Then why keep agreeing to dates..

Posted

>>" Then why keep agreeing to dates..?"

 

Because she's bored and someone she likes better hasn't asked her out yet.

  • Like 2
  • Helpful 1
Posted
26 minutes ago, abcdefg said:

Because she's bored and someone she likes better hasn't asked her out yet.

Ouch :wall

Posted

I think 5 dates is extensive to just be bored.. but good try anyway. I don't know many people who would waste that much time on someone

 

by the way your bio makes no sense..

Posted
2 hours ago, jgraham11 said:

but good try anyway.

To be fair, you were the one who brought up the 'lack of emotion/interest that she shows'.  If you had to make a list of 10 potential reasons *why* that might be the case, what abcdefg said would quite likely make the list, even if it was then later discarded based on other evidence.

 

I'm not sure what about abcdefg's bio doesn't make sense.  It appears pretty straightforward to me.

Posted

After 5 dates? Who is that bored to go out of their way to go on 5 dates with someone they're not interested in? That's why it's so peculiar to me how she doesn't show her interest or emotion more.

 

and his bio says he's fluent with many mistakes. Just kind of found that ironic. The literal definition of fluency is to have the ability to speak or write a language accurately. So if you make many mistakes how are you fluent? 

Posted
Quote

The literal definition of fluency is to have the ability to speak or write a language accurately.

No it isn't. Look it up.

  • Like 1
Posted

Actually I did.. that's what it said

Posted

:wall

IMG_0148.PNG

 

 

But but by all means please keep coming at me. Ever since I joined this forum months ago it's been one passive aggressive attack after another with certain people

Posted

I'll be honest this is the last post i'll ever have on this forum again. Anytime i've asked a question or commented on something it's been received by someone with a pompous reply or superiority complex that came from Gods know where. Truthfully, I don't care what ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP considers himself "fluent" not fluent whatever. I asked a somewhat simple question with good intentions on a thread titled "Society" so I figured it was okay to ask. I got a few nice responses with actual advice from a few people too, and to those people I thank you for taking the time. Far too often that hasn't been the case though. I know I won't be missed! and I'll survive just fine without this forum too, but just thought this really needed to be said. Tchau!

Posted
39 minutes ago, jgraham11 said:

Just kind of found that ironic

Some people find irony amusing, but even if you take it seriously..

 

41 minutes ago, jgraham11 said:

So if you make many mistakes how are you fluent? 

 

Imagine you can speak a language fluently, and express yourself on almost any topic of interest (and many not of interest), but maybe once every 5 minutes you make a single mistake with a single word.  That's dozens (or potentially hundreds) of mistakes a day, which certainly counts as 'many' without in any way impacting fluency.

Posted
5 hours ago, abcdefg said:

Because she's bored and someone she likes better hasn't asked her out yet

 

Could be. Sometimes it is just a trial of curiosity, something different....who knows? There are even people who hook up with physically violent people and not just Chinese people either.

Posted

Sorry, @jgraham11 I had no intention of offending you or driving you away.

 

Perhaps the girl just doesn't like the way you part your hair. One approach to the situation might be to talk it over with her.

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