Li Yinhe is My Hero 李銀河：另一種女神

[陳德聰]

So lately my boyfriend started watching  “奇葩说” and one of the videos caught my attention because of the presence of 李銀河, perhaps the only Chinese sociologist I readily recognise the name of. I guess I am one of her fans or something. But on the forum often everyone seems to talk a lot more about 王小波 and his books than they do about his surviving wife. If you have read many of 王小波's work but aren't very acquainted with 李銀河, just take a few moments to imagine the type of person who would be married to him. 李銀河 is everything and more. I think this is what's called being a "stan" (a rabid fan?)

 

This is the retired professor who has been calling every year since 2001 for gay marriage legalisation in China. With all my preconceived notions of China, something about someone (who has well-known research on sadomasochist subculture) trying to use whatever pull she has to bring up gay marriage (the year right after the Netherlands passed their gay marriage bill) in spite of receiving death threats is just so mind-bogglingly badass.

 

Recently, she went on the show “奇葩说” to talk about the five reasons marriage will "die out", but specified that she doesn't believe it will completely disappear, just that what many might call 'traditional marriage' will become a much less core type of union. I think this is what some fear as the 'destruction of traditional marriage' or whatever the rhetoric is that is going on in Singapore and Australia right now.

 

For those who have access to YouTube, you can watch her on “奇葩说” at this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vxF_KgWa3Mc and I've transcribed her little monologue below with the heading《婚姻終將消亡》"Marriage Gon' Die Out". But I find her comments about retiring and turning to writing SM novels "like 50 Shades of Grey" probably the most amusing.

 

Quote

“這個話說得稍微有一點誇張。我先給大家一組數據：上個世紀的80年代，美國和法國已經有百分之30的人不結婚了。到2015年8月，16歲以上的美國人當中有百分之50.2是單身。2016年國家民政局的數據呢，中國單身男女的人數已經近2億了。就是說，人們越來越不願意結婚了。原因是什麼呢？

第一個原因呢，就是婚姻制度，它和人性有一種內在的緊張關係。不管是澳大利亞啊，是美國啊，英國啊，調查出軌率在百分之40。其實這個出軌這個事兒是違反婚姻道德的，而且好多就導致離婚嘛，就是到了那種法不責眾的那種情況了。我記得2000年的時候，修改婚姻法有一種意見。當時，咱們應該立法來抓這個婚外戀，然後法學界的，然後這些社會學的人都說不行。為什麼呢？百分之40啊是吧？百分之40，你都訴諸警力，你中國得有多大警力啊，是吧？根本就這事做不成，是吧。但是你從這兒，你可以看出來這個婚外戀的人要是這麼多的話，就是證明這個婚姻制度啊，跟人性有這麼一種緊張的關係。

 

那麼第二個原因呢？也跟這個有點關係：人類的預期壽命延長了，然後你這個讓他七八十年就跟一個人在一起，就，他就慢慢地，就越來越變得像一種約束。

 

第三個原因呢，就是男女平等。就是在過去的時候，這個結婚是女人唯一的這個經濟來源。現在呢，女人都能掙錢了，掙錢以後她就多了一個選擇。

 

第四個原因呢，就是離婚成本太高了，精神上台受折磨。有一個很有意思的事情啊，就是法國在某年啊，就是為同性戀專門量身訂做了一個叫做合約婚姻。兩個人裡頭只要有一個人不願意了，這個婚姻就解體。結果呢，這個合約婚姻出現以後，異性戀去註冊這個的比同性戀還超了，就證明大家心裡都覺得這離婚成本應該降低，是吧。

 

然後第五個原因啊，性的目的改變了，就是人類的性活動啊。其實在古代的時候，唯一正當的理由是這個生孩子，那現在就不是了。好多人覺得性就是一件快樂的事兒。對於不生孩子的人，這個婚姻的東西就沒有絕對的必要了。

 

大概就是這樣一個情況"

 

 

Does anyone have any recommended readings? Favourite interviews?

Edited September 20, 2017 at 07:54 PM by 陳德聰
Not sure what happened with formatting on my ipad.

[Guest realmayo]

Very interesting --- but I have too low a tolerance of that kind of Chinese TV show, only managed three minutes.... This is far more manageable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IgqVCcKSI0

I remember them talking about her on 锵锵三人行 a couple of times.

[陳德聰]

Haha yes, I consider that show to generally be an exercise in killing off brain cells, it's just the shock of her popping up in the middle of it that I think made me take notice. I don't know what it is, but I like to just hear and read her talking about things.

 

That interview is endearing and the whole ridiculous "scandal" over her supposedly being a fake straight woman was so transphobic it has me shaking my head even now. The frankness and the well-read way that she talks about sexuality is refreshing too. I have to keep reminding myself that hers is a story that is still pretty "fresh" to many people in China, just like her research.

 

Edit:

Also I'm sure it's somewhat problematic to go around calling older people cute but honestly I find her so adorable as well: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wMyL5RlVt9w talking about her novels!

[roddy]

I need to go and lie down in a dark room after two minutes of 奇葩说, but credit to her for being game for that. 

[somethingfunny]

I only made it as far as the introduction where her name covered most of the screen with "silver river" written above it.

 

Too early in the morning.  Maybe I'll try again later.

[Lu]

1 hour ago, roddy said:

credit to her for being game for that.

It's probably not nearly as bad to be on it as to watch it. After all, the annoying sounds and all are aftereffects.

 

I don't agree with all the points she makes there (people have been having sex for fun since the invention of sex, that's not a new development) but it's pretty great to see someone (especially a Chinese woman) talk about such topics so calmly. She doesn't even have a hint of a giggle when she says she's writing an S&M novel. That is awesome.

[陳德聰]

@roddy and @somethingfunny

Someone on YouTube cut out the intro and the follow-up comments which I think should pop up in related videos, but I actually enjoyed her talking about the appeal of studying something that is basically unheard of in China more than I enjoyed her condensed points on marriage.

 

Like Lu, I think it's awesome when she talks so nonchalantly about SM on "tv" (it's a web show this one lol but still).

[roddy]

I just don't... how can anyone watch that? I keep expecting them to cut to live footage of Katniss Everdeen hiding up a tree. 

 

Right, I'm going in. If I'm not back in 15 minutes I've probably been overcome by an uncontrollable urge to eat KFC. @somethingfunny, you'd better be right behind me!

Heh, accidentally played the first 15 seconds to the whole roomful of people...

[Lu]

20 minutes ago, 陳德聰 said:

I actually enjoyed her talking about the appeal of studying something that is basically unheard of in China more than I enjoyed her condensed points on marriage.

Me too!

 

Another thing I liked, and I'm a bit hesitant to say this because it's pretty bad to critique a feminist icon on her clothes, is her fashion sense, or rather, her lack thereof. She's apparently totally fine going on tv wearing an unflattering and rather ugly sweater topped off with a bandanna that makes it appear she has no neck. I wish I could pull that off. At one point in my life I considered going into academia so that I, too, could wear whatever the hell I felt like every day, but I think even in academia it is no longer okay to wear frayed shirts or ugly sweaters. (Fortunately, I'm now a literary translator and can indeed wear whatever I want because barely anyone sees me.)

[roddy]

WTF!! One of the presenters is dressed up as Colonel Sanders!!!!

 

Producer: Hey, cameraman, randomly cut to a shot of someone drawing a cartoon of her!

Cameraman: What, in the middle of a sentence?

Producer: Yeah!

Me: 喷饭

 

Hang on, they're having sensible discussion. Wasn't expecting that. 

 

Alright, the on-screen graphics and so on aside, that was actually decent. Thanks, 陳德聰

[Luxi]

14 hours ago, 陳德聰 said:

 

Does anyone have any recommended readings? Favourite interviews?

 

There's a feast for you here!

http://www.ximalaya.com/search/album/kw/李銀河/page/1/sc/true

I wish there were more readings by her, she has a beautiful voice and very clear diction. Anyway, lots of good listening in these pages.

 

《同性恋亚文化》--李银河（同性爱情，同志，gay）is really good, credit to Ximalaya for podcasting the whole book.

http://www.ximalaya.com/63710018/album/6894664/

 the anchor is not very clear (too nervous, I sympathize) but it's worth sticking with it for the content - perhaps download and play the mp3 at a slightly lower speed. He improves a lot in the later chapters.

[Luxi]

On 9/21/2017 at 11:40 AM, Luxi said:

《同性恋亚文化》--李银河（同性爱情，同志，gay）is really good, credit to Ximalaya for podcasting the whole book.

http://www.ximalaya.com/63710018/album/6894664/

 and if you were not fast enough, sorry to say, you missed it.

 

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[陳德聰]

Well that's obnoxious.