Marrying Non-Chinese Woman

[jj52]

[Deleted]

[abcdefg]

This sounds like a good plot for a movie, or better yet, a 电视剧 (TV soap opera series.)

 

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I don't mean to make light of your conundrum. I just don't have any sensible advice to offer.

[Xinyi Zhang]

(⊙o⊙)…

I grew up in the Chinese culture，but I can't give a sound advice.

 

I never fall in love with someone.

[roddy]

There's some relevant reading here. Not much to add personally, but good luck. 

[roddy]

4 hours ago, jj52 said:

How should I bring this up to my parents? Should I wait until we start dating first?

By all that you hold dear and holy, yes. 

[somethingfunny]

How sure are you that your best friend feels the same way about you?

[Lu]

Hi JJ, that sounds like a tough situation. I don't have any specific advice beyond 'hang in there'. Also perhaps don't put the cart before the horse: as I understand it, your best friend doesn't even know yet that you are attracted to her, so at this point there is no situation yet to tell your parents.

 

Also, how old are you? Are you still in school and living with your parents? If so, the situation may become a bit easier for you once you are out of the house and making your own money, it will give you more space to date whoever you like.

[889]

As well, wait till you're past thirty and your parents will be so glad you're getting married that your spouse's identity won't concern them at all.

 

[roddy]

Ok, maybe I do have a few things to add...

 

At root, you don't have a Chinese-family issue. You have an overbearing / abusive parent issue, combined with some unrequited love and (if you're the age I think you are) some over-early thinking about getting married. None of these are fun, but the answers aren't rooted in Chinese culture - they'll come from you figuring out what you want and how to get it. Part of that will probably involve a period of less contact with any parents who are more concerned with what they want than what you want.

[snowflake]

My suggestion is not to bring it up unless you're prepared for them to react with things like threatening to cut off supporting you and various types of emotional blackmail.  If you haven't already, become financially independent and move out to someplace pretty far away......Seriously.

[大肚男]

Also, I would wait until I'm dating my best friend, who may or may not share your feelings before saying anything to the parents.

 

I don't see the point of upsetting the parents for no reason, and doing so may even push them to put their plans in turbo mode, and sabotage your chances with your friend