Translating a Chinese poem

[Geiko]

The Confucius Institute of Granada, Spain, has organised a translation contest, and I thought it would  be an interesting challenge to participate. The poem “杜甫”, by 西川, must be translated into Spanish. If you don't want to help me because you think it's not fair play, I will totally understand it, but you also must know that I don't have any chance to win, I have no training in translation, let alone in poetry!  

 

So here it is the aforementioned poem: 

 

杜甫 西川

你的深仁大爱容纳下了
那么多的太阳和雨水；那么多的悲苦
被你最终转化为歌吟
无数个秋天指向今夜
我终于爱上了眼前褪色的
街道和松林

在两条大河之间，在你曾经歇息的
乡村客栈，我终于听到了
一种声音：磅礴，结实又沉稳
有如茁壮的牡丹迟开于长安
在一个晦暗的时代
你是唯一的灵魂

美丽的山河必须信赖
你的清瘦，这易于毁灭的文明
必须经过你的触摸然后得以保存
你有近乎愚蠢的勇气
倾听内心倾斜的烛火
你甚至从未听说过济慈和叶芝

秋风，吹亮了山巅的明月
乌鸦，撞开了你的门扉
皇帝的车马隆隆驰过
继之而来的是饥饿和土匪
但伟大的艺术不是刀枪
它出于善，趋向于纯粹

千万间广厦遮住了地平线
是你建造了它们，以便怀念那些
流浪途中的妇女和男人
而拯救是徒劳，你比我们更清楚
所谓未来，不过是往昔
所谓希望，不过是命运

1989

 

And this is my attempt of translation. Bear in mind that English is not my native language - obvious - and that the poem must be translated into Spanish, so the aim of my English version is to check with you if I understood everything. Any comment and critizism is welcome.

 

Du Fu

 

Your benevolence and great love contained

so much sun and rainwater, so much grief

that you eventually transformed into songs

countless autums leading to this night

I finally fell in love with these faded

streets and pine forests

 

Between two rivers, in that rustic inn

you used to stay, I finally heard 

that sound: majestic, powerful and long-lasting

like a peony that blooms late in Chang'an

in that dark era

you were the only soul

 

A beautiful land must be trusted

your fragile culture, se easy to be reduced to ashes

needed to pass through your hands to be protected

your courage verged on foolishness

you listened attentively to the candle flame that tilted in your heart

and you hadn't even heard about Keats or Yates

 

The autumn wind blew the bright moon on top of the mountain

[raven](?), it opened your door

the emperor's horses galloping

famine and bandits spreading all over

but magnificent art is not a weapon

it originates from virtue and tends to purity

 

Countless mansions cover up the horizon

it's you who built them, to cherish the memory of those

women and men who roam about

trying to save them is in vain, you knew it better than me

the so-called future is in fact the past

the so-called wishes are in fact destiny

 

I have many doubts, but the main ones are:

1. What to do with that 乌鸦 in the fourth stanza, second verse?

2. The text seems to be full of allusions of a poem of Du Fu (“茅屋为秋风所破歌”), for example the 秋风, am I right? Are there other cultural references to Du Fu? I should read his poems to fully understand this one, but I'm afraid it will be harder and take me too much time ...

3. In the last stanza, first verse, I understood 千万间广厦 as "countless mansions", but Du Fu's original verse (安得广厦千万间，大庇天下寒士俱欢颜，风雨不动安如山！) is translated as "Oh, for a vast mansion with a thousand rooms" (translation found in Pleco dictionary). Is 千万间广厦 "ten thousand mansions" or "a mansion with ten thousand rooms"?

 

And that's all for a first post. Now I'll read Du Fu's poem, let's see if it sheds some light!

[Jim]

The 乌鸦 is parallel to 秋风 in the preceding line - the autumn wind did one thing, the crows did another:

 

秋风，吹亮了山巅的明月
乌鸦，撞开了你的门扉

 

The autumn wind blew the moon to brightness on the mountain peak

The crows burst open your doors

 

 

[Publius]

I'm not very familiar with his works (never liked him much), but 皇帝的车马隆隆驰过 seems to be an allusion to 《兵車行》 or 《麗人行》 or both.

美丽的山河 also reminds me of 國破山河在，城春草木深.

I always thought 广厦千万间 was "countless mansions", but "a vast mansion with countless rooms" also seems a reasonable interpretation, given that the next line is 何時眼前突兀見此屋...

[roddy]

吹亮 - fan, as in to fan the flames? Lets you bring the two lines closer in length, but could be read as in to fan to keep cool. Actually almost certainly would.