English spelling reform

[fenlan]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the European Union rather

than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that

English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-

year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this

will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up

konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like

fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be

expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are

possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters

which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the

languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"

with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords

kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl

riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in

ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

[HashiriKata]

If the reform does happen, it should be very interesting see the pros and cons at every turn. Also, are other English speaking countries left out? and what about other "English-using" peoples? No, I don't think any major reform would be possible, especially is the version fenlan anticipated.

(Or perhaps I've got so used to reading Chinese characters that I've come to think spelling doesn't matter any longer?? )

[skylee]

I posted the same story one year ago ->

http://www.chinese-forums.com/showpost.php?p=20765&postcount=10

[nipponman]

How do people plan to read like that?

[chenpv]

Dude, i am preparing my GRE writing right now. after reading all these, i succeed in finding that my pedestal of english has been completely demolished. (kidding)

while what i am wondering is 'Can every englishman accept that?'

[opper567]

Is that for real? That doesn't seem like it could possibly ever happen? It seems to me that too many English speakers are already too literate for a reform like that can occur...

[roddy]

It's not real, an old joke that's been floating around the internet for years, and might even date back to before the internet. Plays on UK paranoia about EU bureacracy and German hegemony. . .

Roddy

[fenlan]

I think English people could accept this spelling reform as easily as Chinese people could accept abolishing the characters and using piiyin.

[zhwj]

It's not real, an old joke that's been floating around the internet for years, and might even date back to before the internet.

This EU stuff is new to me - I've usually seen it attributed to Mark Twain (without the first paragraph, of course), but other people say it first appeared in a letter to The Economist.

If you want something real, there's always the Chicago Tribune's experiments with spelling reform.

[atitarev]

Is that for real? That doesn't seem like it could possibly ever happen? It seems to me that too many English speakers are already too literate for a reform like that can occur...

Reforms do occur and literate people to adjust and learn the new, if they accept the change and don't resist.

Russian spelling was reformed after the October revolution 1917. Some letters were abolished, the use of others was reduced. Spelling became closer to pronunciation and there are less problems with remembering, which letters should be used. Some people were unhappy but it became a standard and has been used since. Pre-revolution texts have been republished.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_language#Alphabet

[roddy]

Wow, is it as old as Mark Twain? That's pretty cool.

The first time I saw it was around the time a whole load of new regulations were coming out of Brussels that according to the tabloid press would mean that among other things British sausages wouldn't be called sausages any more (apparently they had too much sawdust in them ) and all bananas would have to be straight. Which is nonsense, but there's still a section of British society apparently terrified that we are to be taken over by a Frano-German dominated EU.

Roddy

[gougou]

Reforms do occur and literate people to adjust and learn the new, if they accept the change and don't resist.

Speaking of which, there is a spelling reform going on in Germany currently. A large number of literate are unwilling to accept it, incl. some of the biggest newspapers and magazines, as well as several famous writers. The result is that the new spelling is used in schools and official publications, but not in everyday writings.

Anybody studying German out there? Wouldn't wanna be in your shoes right now...

[atitarev]

I majored in German long ago. The changes are not too difficult to understand and use, it's just the unwillingness to accept the changes. They German government didn't have the same authority as in Lenin Russia or Mao China to make reformed spelling mandatory, so it may take longer.

[chenpv]

i would rather die than give up the chinese characters.