How to tell a businessman "it's none of your business"?

[AlexanderJV]

Hello, this is my first post. I made an account here specifically to get help on this issue.

I am in the process of launching an e-commerce platform, and I import products from China. I have a supplier that I like, and so far he has been polite and fair for the most part; however, on multiple occasions he has asked prying questions about elements of my business that an American businessman would not ask. I've never been asked in the US about proprietary business information or to expose the details of an internal conflict, but he asks even when it is seemingly irrelevant.

Here are two examples. 1) I told him that we are working on overcoming an internal obstacle, and that I would contact him to complete the order whenever we're able to resolve it. He immediately asked what the problem we're having it. I deflected, but he eventually asked twice more about the details of this internal issue. 2) When he went to give me the final quote for our latest order, he quoted his own shipping cost. When I told him that we use our own freight forwarder (meaning we have an agent that arranges the shipping for us rather than letting the supplier arrange it), he politely said that it was totally fine... Then proceeded to ask how much our freight forwarder charges.

I like this supplier, but frankly I don't want him knowing any details of our internal issues, what we pay our agents for shipping, what we sell for etc. Not only is it not his business, but for an e-commerce business in the current climate it is actually dangerous for Chinese suppliers to have such details as it is increasingly common for Chinese suppliers to mine details of e-commerce businesses then counterfeit their items and kick them off their own platforms.

What is the best way to withhold all this information from him when he bluntly asks for these details whenever he can?

[abcdefg]

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What is the best way to withhold all this information from him when he bluntly asks for these details whenever he can?

 

If we were negotiating in person, I would chuckle and shake my head. Maybe wag my finger too. (Try to make light of it; not flare up in anger.) It's not up to you to invent some subtle dodge. If all else fails, just say "I don't want to tell you that."

 

It's completely normal behavior for a Chinese business colleague or counterpart to disregard what you see as your boundaries and ask such probing questions. 

 

Even in non-business dealings with casual acquaintances here it's common and unremarkable for people to ask how much my shoes or wristwatch cost or how old I am or how much I earn each month. Not considered impolite among Chinese people. 

 

Same with personal space boundaries: they are different here from in the west. Step onto an elevator together and you will smell eachothers' breath -- you can tell what he had for lunch. Even if the car isn't totally full.

[imron]

3 hours ago, AlexanderJV said:

What is the best way to withhold all this information from him when he bluntly asks for these details whenever he can?

Just politely tell him that you are unable to divulge such information.  If he pushes, tell him your company has a policy forbidding you from sharing internal company details with people who are not employees.

 

 

[889]

You don't have to be the polite Canadian (American, whatever) and answer or even feign answering every question. Deal with questions you feel comfortable dealing with and just ignore the others. No matter how many times how many ways your supplier asks again.

 

"Just politely tell him that you are unable to divulge such information."

 

No. Just ignore those questions. Don't continue that line of discussion and risk more questions. "Well, why can't you divulge that information?"

 

Ask yourself, how do people in China respond when you step over the line? (They just clam up.)

[DavyJonesLocker]

I came  across this a lot in my previous career as a trader. Everyone wants to know everyone else's prices and details of the deal. Being direct initially is the best so you set the ground rules early on. If they keep asking I just used to say. "We discuss this topic already didn't we?" 

I was always polite but in a highly competitive and ruthless environment, you need to be firm. 

 

I would add though, pick your battles. People are often defensive for no reason. Divulging you transportation cost might get you a better deal or service. You know best though. 

[somethingfunny]

How have you dealt with it so far?  And what result has that had?

 

You might feel uncomfortable with him asking these questions, but as long as you're not telling him and you're still doing business together, what's the problem?

[Dawei3]

9 hours ago, imron said:

policy forbidding you from sharing internal company

An approach like this is very effective.  Or just say "I'm not allowed to share that kind of information outside the company."   This is called "The power of higher authority."  Rather than you being the bad guy for telling him "no," you're relying on higher authority.

 

And your concerns about him trying to get the information so he can cut you out of the business are absolutely valid.  

[imron]

6 hours ago, Dawei3 said:

An approach like this is very effective

It's also likely very true.  I do freelance software development, and almost every contract I sign with a client has a confidentiality clause stating that I'm not allowed to disclose internal company data and information to outside parties.  Most employment contracts also have similar clauses.

[889]

Once again, I'm going to disagree.

 

This will not stop the questions. Because nothing piques an interest like a secret.

[Kenny同志]

Just tell him 事關商業機密，不便相告，請見諒。

[imron]

7 hours ago, 889 said:

This will not stop the questions.

There is nothing that will stop the questions.  They'll always keep on coming - the same way Chinese people happily ask about salary information and other things generally considered private in the west.

 

OP should realise not to worry or get upset about being repeatedly asked such blunt questions, and each time refute them with the same simple "Sorry, company policy not to say".

[zhouhaochen]

In real life, I just smile and people do understand that I do not want to answer the question - at least by the second time. I wonder if that would work on WeChat too.

For a phrase to tell someone that I dont want to say something, I would use a construction with  我不太方便....

It clearly says you wont say something, but to me it feels warmer and not as direct as "I cant/wont say"

[Bibu]

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