Natural way to end conversation and leave room

[杰.克]

Hi all,

 

I am currently staying with a Chinese family. Absolutely loving the situation and soaking in all the Chinese I can. I am spending lots of time just sat chatting to the elderly husband and wife,  and we all really enjoy each others company. One thing I'm wondering about, as the conversation naturally comes to an end, and i leave the room, what the best thing to say just to acknowledge this.

 

Ive been going with, 我要走了啊， or 一会见，

 

In english i guess if i was with my parents id just say, "right, in a bit" or " right im off upstairs"

 

I don‘t want to go with anything overly polite, such as 不好意思我有事, as its too polite. We are already quite close, so this would seem overtly polite and this a bit cold IMO。

 

Essentially, what would an adult child say to their parents (in mandarin) if they come down for a cup of tie, have a chat in the family kitchen, and then want to indicate they are going back upstairs to work, or something along these lines?

 

 

[xinoxanu]

"那我先走了啊" or simply "嗯" if you are the one ending the conversation.

 

Chinese people are not that concerned about manners in this type of situation and, in my experience, it's perfectly fine to leave a room without saying anything unless the situation reaaaaally requires it.

 

Just try it and since the Chinese don't mind being confrontational you'll know right away if you messed up ?

[杰.克]

Thanks for your input buddy, Ive used both your ones, they are good ! and yeah, you are right they aint fussed at all. Im just wanting to know for my own peace of mind.

 

Ideally looking for a native/near-native to chip in, just fo fully confirm this is kosher?

[889]

Given you're living with them, I don't think formality should be a concern. I'd just wrap up the conversation with something simple like 那好. Or  take your cue from them, how they wrap up a conversation.

 

But say "失陪" and you'd probably be over-doing it.

[suMMit]

i have thus far not incorporated 啊 into my chinese, i do hear it sometimes, ive asked some people and they all told me they dont use it , that its more "southern". is that true?

[Singe]

52 minutes ago, suMMit said:

i have thus far not incorporated 啊 into my chinese, i do hear it sometimes, ive asked some people and they all told me they dont use it , that its more "southern". is that true?

 

I'll be interested to hear what the more experienced posters say of this - I wasn't aware 啊 is more southern based. I always thought it was universal and used as an emphatic way of expressing a statement.

[889]

If you've got some young triad toughs speaking Cantonese in your movie, they'll be ending a lot of short sentences with a long extended 啊 or something that sounds similar, and maybe that's why it's perceived as a Southern affectation.

[roddy]

11 hours ago, xinoxanu said:

"那我先走了啊" or simply "嗯" if you are the one ending the conversation.

那我先... whatever you're going to do. 去学习，休息，找小刘打牌. Very natural way to leave. 

 

There's nothing at all wrong with 啊, but keep it short and light, like a 呢 or 吧.

[杰.克]

Thanks for the input all. Much appreciated. 

[Demonic_Duck]

千万不要乱用“啊”字啊！

 

“啊” has a number of meanings, many of which are quite nuanced, but none of the meanings is “particle arbitrarily placed at the end of sentences”.

 

Usually MoeDict is very good, but its entry for “啊” (a5) just says “meaningless”, which is singularly unhelpful. The basic free Pleco (“PLC”) dictionary does a better job.

 

At the end of a sentence:

1. expressing enthusiasm
2. expressing impatience with something obvious
3. at the end of an order, warning, etc.
4. expressing questioning

In other locations:

1. indicating a deliberate pause
2. at the end of each enumerated item in a list

Xiandai Hanyu Guifan Cidian (which provides another useless first definition of “used at the end of sentences in certain contexts to emphasize certain tone or feeling”) also adds this:

1. used with repeated verbs to express that the repeated process went on for a long time

Note that none of these applies to “我先走了”, “我先去休息了”, etc.

[roddy]

I'm perhaps over-thinking it, but when I imagine hearing or saying this, there's maybe a small pause (那我先走了，啊）and it's as if you're prompting a response for permission or acknowledgement, so you're not just announcing your departure and walking out. 

[Kenny同志]

Keep it casual and informal. 
 

Usually, I would just say what I'm going to do, though this may come across a bit awkward to westerners who are far more concerned about privacy than we are.

 

A few examples: 
 

Uncle、Auntie, 你們看電視(If they are watching TV)，我回房去看會兒書。
Uncle、Auntie，我帶小花出去散散步（If you have a dog named 小花）。
Uncle、Auntie，我有點累了，去睡了。明天見。

Uncle、Auntie，我還有功課沒有做完。我去做功課了。
Uncle、Auntie，告訴你們一個好消息，我交了一個女朋友。我們約好今天去小河邊手拉手散步。我去了啊。（Include 手拉手 only if you want to specify it, haha）

 

[Demonic_Duck]

2 hours ago, roddy said:

when I imagine hearing or saying this, there's maybe a small pause (那我先走了，啊）and it's as if you're prompting a response for permission or acknowledgement, so you're not just announcing your departure and walking out. 

 

Yeah I guess so, sorta depends on the 语气 you want to convey. I think in this case it's something like “OK, we have now tacitly reached an understanding that I will 和女朋友一起去小河边手拉手散步, and I am subtly indicating that the conversation is now over but without wishing to cause offense”. But then again...

 

2 hours ago, roddy said:

I'm perhaps over-thinking it

 

[xinoxanu]

。

[xinoxanu]

5 hours ago, roddy said:

I'm perhaps over-thinking it, but when I imagine hearing or saying this, there's maybe a small pause (那我先走了，啊）

 

Not in the case I was talking about. The 啊 is supposed to be merged with the last syllable to simply make the sentence longer. There's no pause.

 

In Sichuan it's pretty common to use a "hà" or a "lè" (谢谢哈， 好了) at the end of a sentence or short statement to convey informality or closeness, but you can use 啊, 啦, 了, 呢, 吧, 哈, 哦 and others depending on where you are located.

 

The closest thing I can think of would be using "gotcha" instead of "got it", but it doesn't really have slang connotations, so you can both use it with your friends or your boss. 

 

[Shelley]

i often hear 啊 being used by someone listening to another person, nodding and saying 啊,  啊 at various intervals as if to indicate they are listening, paying attention and understand.

[Jim]

Stand, clasp your hands in salute and say “风雨长亭话别离” -- 在下告辞.

[xinoxanu]

1 hour ago, Shelley said:

i often hear 啊 being used by someone listening to another person, nodding and saying 啊,  啊 at various intervals as if to indicate they are listening, paying attention and understand.

 

嗯, or at least that's how the sound is transcribed

[Guest realmayo]

Pretty sure I've heard lots of 啊, 啊，啊

 

[Shelley]

Oh, thanks @xinoxanu never realised it was a slightly different noise, my ear hears 啊, probably becuase I never heard of 嗯.

I see there are some more "noises" in your earlier post, is there a definitive list of these types of things? If I know they exist, I may recognise them when heard.