Correct my writing !!!

[oyajithis]

Hey everyone i hope you are doing good 
my Chinese is just fine and i am not good whit measure words and structure  else i am not good at it 
anyway i w did have this homework and i just got it done and i am sure for fact that it's not absolutely correct LOL
（write a greeting letter to your Chinese teacher who has taught to you）

You can greet with her firstly,then talk about your recent life,and ask about her life.

please correct me and tell me the mistake i did , thanks

 

亲爱的曹露明：

    你好!

    好久不见了，很想念你，不只是我，所有学生都想念你。我们在课堂上和

课堂之外确实有很多回忆。

    无论如何，摩洛哥的生活越来越糟糕，我们仍然有COVID-19，而且我们的房屋

被困在哪里，你还好吗？我们正在为考试而苦苦挣扎，但我正在努力学习，每天都在

练习写作技巧和听力，我认为如果您知道自己会很高。

    老是,你好吗？ 您还在教他们吗？

我的同学非常想念您，我们也经常谈论您，希望您能回到摩洛哥，让我知道您的情况

吗？希望早日收到你的来信。

    祝学习愉快！身体健康！

                                                 你的朋姚明

                                                 2020年9月26日

[Kenny同志]

Overall, it is quite well written. For what it is worth, here are some comments you may find useful.

 

亲爱的曹露明：
I would never use ‘亲爱的’ unless I am addressing my wife or girlfriend. If I need to address my teacher in a formal letter, I may go for something like 露明老师.

 

    你好!
If you are a sophisticated writer, this will be a phrase to be avoided at all costs in any email or letter.

 

    好久不见了，很想念你，不只是我，所有学生都想念你。
Well written. However, if ‘学生’ refers to your classmates I will use 同学 instead.

我们在课堂上和课堂之外确实有很多回忆。
No need to use 确实 for emphasis here. Also ‘课堂上和课堂之外’ can be amended as ‘课堂内外’ for elegance.
This sentence is a bit illogical—we have many memories in and out of classes? I would rewrite it as follows:
你在课堂内外为我们留下了许多美好的回忆。
 

    无论如何，摩洛哥的生活越来越糟糕，我们仍然有COVID-19，
Delete ‘无论如何’ which serves no good purpose here.

而且我们的房屋被困在哪里，
This is incomprehensible to me.

你还好吗？
Good.


我们正在为考试而苦苦挣扎，但我正在努力学习，每天都在练习写作技巧和听力，
Good.

我认为如果您知道自己会很高。
This is incomprehensible to me.
 

    老是,你好吗？
‘老是’ is supposedly a typo for 老师. I suggest that your remove this whole segment because you have asked the same question before.

您还在教他们吗？
This sentence is fine but it will be a good idea to be more specific about 他们.
 

我的同学非常想念您，
There is no need to say the same thing twice. If the phrase ‘所有学生’ in the first sentence refers to ‘我的同学’, then remove this segment.

我们也经常谈论您，
‘谈起’ is more natural here.

 

希望您能回到摩洛哥，
Good.

让我知道您的情况吗？
To make a proper request, say 可以让我知道您的情况（近况）吗？


希望早日收到你的来信。
Good.

    祝学习愉快！身体健康！
Good.

                                                 

你的朋姚明
Should be 你的朋友姚明. In most cases, just specifying your name would suffice.

                                                

 2020年9月26日

 

[anonymoose]

亲爱的曹露明：

    你好!

    好久不见了，我非常想念你，不仅是我，所有的学生想到你就垂涎三尺。我们在课堂里外确实产生了很多故事。

    无论如何，没有您，摩洛哥的生活越来越糟糕了，我们仍然有新冠病疫情，而且我们被捆在房屋里，我脑子里都是你？我们正在为考试而苦苦挣扎，但我正在努力学习，每天都在练习写作技巧和听力，我认为如果你知道，我肯定能赢得你的心。

    老师,你好吗？ 你还在和他们那个吗？

我的同学非常想念你，我们也经常谈论你，希望你能回到摩洛哥，让我们能再次体会到你。希望早日收到你的来信。

    祝学习愉快！身体健康！

                                                 你的朋姚明

                                                 2020年9月26日

[Kenny同志]

Quote

所有的学生想到你就垂涎三尺。

 

Quote

我们被捆在房屋里，我脑子里都是你？

 

Quote

我认为如果你知道，我肯定能赢得你的心。

 

Quote

 你还在和他们那个吗？

 

Quote

希望你能回到摩洛哥，让我们能再次体会到你。

Are you serious, Anonymoose? Oh my gosh!