most embarrassing moment while learning Chinese

[wix]

What was your most embarrassing moment while learning Chinese? Here's mine...

A few months after I first came to Taiwan I arranged a language exchange with a friend's sister. At our second or third meeting she brought along a friend. Trying to make polite conversation in my, what was at the time, quite limited Chinese I asked if her friend was her tongzhi (同 志). I had only been in Taiwan for a few months and most of the Chinese I knew was straight out of a textbook printed in Beijing. Of course I thought tongzhi was a perfectly fine word to describe a friend or comrade. I was quite surprised though by the strange response I got to my question. It was then explained to me that in Taiwan the word tongzhi is most commonly used to describe someone who is gay. Needless to say I was very embarrassed and to this day remain very aware of the double meaning of tongzhi.

[beijingbooty]

A chinese friend of my wifes rang up on the phone. At that time I was lying on the bed reading a book, my wife was lying beside me doing the same. I answered the phone and said. Yes she is here, you can talk to her. "Wo zai ta shangbian". Actually I meant to say "wo zai ta SHEN bian"

So the meaning came out as "I am on top of her" instead of "I am beside her".

[roddy]

I work with a woman who's name is Guo Jia - the same as 'country' or 'nation', apart from the tones which I'm lousy at anyway. One day someone came into the office while she was out, pointed at the empty desk and asked who it belonged to. In best revolutionary fashion I replied 'The desk belongs to the nation'

Roddy

[andreabt]

It was Spring Festival, my second one in China, but my first one knowing how to greet people for the holiday in Chinese. Also my first one with my then-boyfriend, soon-to-be-fiance, and now husband. I was trying very hard to talk to his friends with my limited Chinese, and we had spent the day with his best friend and friend's wife. As they got ready to leave, I said very enthusiastically and genially, "xin nian hao!" Then-BF's friend sort of awkwardly nodded his head and replied "xin nian hao." As they walked out a few minutes later, I once more called out "xin nian hao!", getting a similarly lukewarm reception. I felt something a bit awkward happening, but was not sure what, and forgot about. Later (hours later), then-BF says to me, "Oh, by the way, you are only supposed to say "xin nian hao" when you say hello to someone. If you want to give them a New Year's greeting as you say good-bye, you should say something like "xin nian kuai le."

I was mortified, not to mention extremely ticked off at then-BF for not correcting me the first time! Perhaps not the most embarrassing story, but it was traumatic for me at the time

[Guest masimo]

I was teaching in Taiwan at the College of Chinese Culture. It was either a midterm or a final exam and I was walking around the room as the students worked on their exams. One of the young ladies got my attention and told me her pen had run out of ink. Very confident in my Chinese I asked the class in Chinese if anyone could lend her a pen as her pen had run out of ink. There were a lot of stifled guffaws and I wondered what I had said. It turned out that the way I said it it sounded like her nose had run out of water....

I'm still just as confident and still make some very humorous mistakes that entertain my family greatly. Once I was in church and they were singing the hymn holy holy holy but I was accused of singing leftovers, leftovers, leftovers.

My friend when I was in Taiwan once went into a restaurant and ordered "pieces of chicken" noodles but it came out chicken shit noodles which was a great laugh for his Chinese friends who were with him.

Mike

[channamasala]

A coworker (Chinese) was telling me about how she had bad skin because she ate too much lajiao. I was pretty new to Chinese and tried to respond in Chinese that actually, I thought her skin was just fine.

"Ni you hen hao pi!" I used the second tone on pi. That can translate into either "You have a really nice fart!" or "You have a really nice c**t!"

The look I got was unforgettable. Others still tease me about it.

I also once was chatting with a taxi driver who said that Guiyang was a better city than Zunyi. I do not agree...so I said "Wo fandui ni!" instead of the more appropriate "Wo bu tongyi." It translates into "I OPPOSE YOU!" in a rather political manner.

...and finally, "Wo zhidao xuduo guanyu Yindu zhangfu." I know a lot about Indian husbands. I meant to say "zhengfu" - I know a lot about Indian government.

[Guest quinoa]

i came home this summer to relax and rest a bit. my mom and i were going to start speaking in chinese so i wouldn't forget too much. she asked me a question and i said sui2 bian4 (doesn't matter) 隨便 .

she started laughing... apparently my tone wasn't quite right (she heard sui3) and i had said something like "poop pieces"

[ChouDoufu]

This wasn't my mistake but my friend said it right in front of me. We were just talking about the word da1, to travel by.. like da1 che to travel by car and stuff. Then we were talking to a Chinese friend who said, "How are you getting back to your country."

My friend using her new vocabulary said, "wo da3 feiji". Unfortunately "da3 feiji" (lit. hit plane) means to "jackoff".

Adding insult to injury, my friend was a girl.

oh, and one more was another friend (lucky this stuff never happens to me) who had this one Chinese guy convince him to use weige as his Chinese name. He thought it sounded cool, but whenever he introduced himself to girls they'd start laughing. A couple weeks later he found out he had been calling himself "Viagra".

[jwarriner]

I've had plenty of embarrassing moments myself but one of the funniest happened to a friend of mine. We were newly arrived in Taiwan. He wanted to say to this Chinese man, "Wo3 xiang3 wen4 ni3. (I want to ask you...)", but it came out "Wo3 xiang3 wen2 ni3" which because of tone changes could be understood as "I want to kiss you." or "I want to smell you." However the Chinese fellow understood it, he sure had a funny look on his face.

Speaking of names ChouDoufu, you've got a pretty good on yourself

john[/code]

[channamasala]

I've got three words for you:

Hanyu Shuiping Kaoya.

(this happened a really long time ago).

[Guest tigronne]

I really messed up one afternoon not long after I'd arrived in Bei Jing. I was walking in Beihai park one afternoon with relatives of a Chinese lady I knew back in the UK. They didn't speak English and my Chinese was rudimentary to say the least so our conversation was a bit stilted. In one last attempt, my friend's brother asked me ' zai zhongguo ni you nan peng you ma ?'

I was very happy as I thought that I had understood their question (for the first time that afternoon). Unfortunately I had understood ' ni you peng you' instead of 'ni you nan peng you', and launched into a long tirade to prove how great my Chinese was - approximately along the following lines :

" you, kending you hen duo, you yingguo de, zhongguo de, ye you meiguo he riben de (etc.)"

there was no reaction, so I carried on:

" you nu de, ye you nan de"

by this time I realised something was amiss judging by the exxpression on their faces. It was embarassing for me but at least it broke the ice.

[kangkai]

I went to a dumpling party that was being held by the Chinese English Language table at the University of Illinois and afterward I got a call from a Chinese friend of mine.

She asked about my day and I told her "I just got back from a biao3zi party".

She says "What???"

I reply, "Biao3zi - dumpling, right?"

"No, thats jiao3zi"

"Oh"

I later looked up biao3zi and realized why she was so suprised.

Stupidly enough I made this mistake again this week when somebody was talking about their father making stuffed buns I asked "You mean like biao3zi?" this time meaning "bao3zi". I realized right away, and she informed me I "knew too much Chinese".

I think I should avoid talking about Chinese food.

[pazu]

I'm a native Chinese speaker, but a native Cantonese Chinese speaker and there're some jokes made by my Mandarin too.

Like a few years ago when I first learnt Mandarin, I went to Beijing and a teacher asked me something about the "Shengwu" (Biology) in Hong Kong.

I didn't know the meaning of "Shengwu" (it's "Sheng Mut" in Cantonese), I thought a bit and I thought she talked about the HK life (Sheng Wood in Cantonese), so I said, "oh, xianggang de SHENG WU ma,,, jiu shi kankan dianyin, changchang kala OK" (oh, the BIOLOGY in Hong kong, is just watching movies and singing Karaoke.)

And my sister once told her friend that she was going to travel in YIN DAO! By the way, she meant to say INDIA (YIN DU), while "YIN DAO" means vagina!

And one more unforgettable joke: Wo mingtian JIAN ni! (I see you tomorrow!)

Jian should be Jian4, but at that time I said "JIAN1", so it meant RAPE!

I rape you tomorrow!

[Guest Kurochan]

Most of mine have been silly, rather than embarrassing.

Once I wanted to say Chinese people are friendly, but I said, "Zhongguo ren hen hao you （好油）" instead of "Zhongguo ren hen you hou（友好）." I guess I said that Chinese people were very oily.

Once I told the matron of my dormitory that my air conditioner was dripping blood （流血）, when I meant that it was dripping water（流水）. She got really freaked out for a second!

Since I have a little brother, I'm sure I've accidentally said I have a penis many, many times!

[Guest qinfeng]

To avoid such an annoying thing happening again I suggest that you can use TONGSHI instead of TONGZHI to refer to somebody as your comrade or coworker.

[techie]

What was your most embarrassing moment while learning Chinese? Here's mine...

tongzhi was a perfectly fine word to describe a friend or comrade. I was quite surprised though by the strange response I got to my question. It was then explained to me that in Taiwan the word tongzhi is most commonly used to describe someone who is gay.

Wix, I looked this up on a dictionary and came up with the following:

同志 tóngzhì comrade

通知 tōnzhī inform, notice circular

通直 tōnzhí straight from top to bottom

童稚tónzhì child childness

同治 tónzhì (historical)Qing reign period (1862-1874)

统治tǒngzhì v. rule; dominate

统制tǒngzhì n。v. control

Do you know how was the tongzhi word you were talking about written in Chinese?

Regards

[Quest]

tongzhi is a relatively new slang word for 同性恋, and it is used as so throughout china now, too. maybe more so among younger generations.

[techie]

I looked this term on dictionary and you are correct:

It was defined as follows:

同性恋 tóngxìngliàn n. 1)homosexuality 2)homosexual

This again points out how important is to use the right tones in Chinese.

[Quest]

btw 同志 is from 志同道合, and it means "having the same interests". It's a pun played on 同性恋。

[techie]

This only tells me how difficult Chinese could be if you do not understand all the nuances of the language! Augh!