most embarrassing moment while learning Chinese

[ZhangKaiRong]

My most embarrassing moment was when I didn't realize that the word for chicken was also a slang term for something else!

Hehe, I see everybody has his/her own story concerning the 鸡 word

It happened to my classmate in November. His Chinese is quite fluent, he has been learning Chinese for 5 years now, has a fair 东北 accent, if he is on the phone, most Chinese don't know they're talking to a 外国人. But he also made a funny mistake with 鸡. We were cooking dinner in the dorm, invited a Chinese friend to eat with us. The menu was fried chicken breasts with some seasoning and mashed potato. My classmate had the first bite of meat, and after two months of eating the canting's tasteless food, he said this sentence: "真的有鸡的味道啊!" After 5 seconds, we all burst out laughing (including him), even our well-behaved Chinese friend smiled like some pumpkin during Halloween

[tooironic]

I was having dinner with some Chinese friends and an Aussie learner of Chinese last night. The Aussie guy, who is a beginning learner of Mandarin, told me that swear words were one of the first things he learnt. That's all very well, he said, until one day he accidentally greeted his teacher with "càoshànghǎo" instead of "zǎoshànghǎo".

[xiaojiang216]

Here's another one I recently thought of from way back:

When I first started learning Chinese, I had a friend whose mother is Taiwanese. Eager to practice my Chinese, I walked up to her with a big smile, saying "他 [refering to my friend] 是我的儿子！" I meant to say 朋友 hahaha I don't think I realized how awkward that was at the time until thinking about it retrospectively

[Julia Chen]

No offense, but these stories really make me laugh...........coz I am a Chinese native speaker.

[Talkerton]

Excellent thread, thanks for the good read and laugh. With my limited mandarin speaking skills, I must have have committed tons of faux pas without realizing it. Will pay more attention to the tones henceforth..

[Shirley_Chen]

haha...many funny stories here..No offense

[Ruben von Zwack]

The other day, at dinner time, I came home with a package of Spaghetti and enthusiastically said to my flat mate, "hey, 我們燒麵條吧!?" (我们烧面条吧). Let's cook noodles (面條(miàntiáo)! Or, that's what I intended to say. But when not sure about a tone I tend to use the second, so what I did say was "hey, let's cook tampons!" ("miántiáo" 棉條)

[tooironic]

Did they notice your mispronunciation? Tampons are not common in China and many Chinese do not know what they are. In many cases the longer form 卫生棉条 is used to make it a little clearer.

[Ruben von Zwack]

Yeah, it made my flat mate laugh, she said "hehe, you mean miàntiáo! Miántiáo is for ladies". But she's from Taiwan actually. I'm glad to hear it's not common, I was worrying about potential embarrassing noodle shop moments in the future

[Shirley_Chen]

The other day, at dinner time, I came home with a package of Spaghetti and enthusiastically said to my flat mate, "hey, 我們燒麵條吧!?" (我们烧面条吧). Let's cook noodles (面條(miàntiáo)! Or, that's what I intended to say. But when not sure about a tone I tend to use the second, so what I did say was "hey, let's cook tampons!" ("miántiáo" 棉條)

I think the four tones and the measure words of Chinese are nightmares to foreigners.^^

[Ruben von Zwack]

I think the four tones and the measure words of Chinese are nightmares to foreigners.^^

Yes, the tones and the measure words, and also the homophones, and the writing system.

But one has got to admire how logical and straight forward Chinese is. I mean, say "95" in French! Or even try to spell it out in writing!

[Shirley_Chen]

According to an article written by a guy on the Internet 2 years ago, which was very popular among Chinese online community, I know how complicated it is to say "95" in French. Something like 4 twenty plus 15...The guy was very regreted that he took French as his elective course. I think you can feel his distress from his exclamation points in case you cannot fully understand his article as I copy below..

老子两年前选了法语课！！！！！！！！

于是踏上了尼玛不归路啊！！！！！！！！！！

谁跟老子讲法语是世界上最油煤的语言啊！！！！！！！！

尼玛听的 哪个外太空的法语啊！！！！！！！！！！！

跟吐痰一样一样一样的啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！

谁再跟老子讲法语是世界上最油煤的语言 老子一口浓痰咸死你啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

法国人数数真是极品啊！！！！！！！！

76不念七十六啊！！！！！！！！！！

念六十加 十六啊！！！！！！！！！！

96不念九十六啊！！！！！！！！！

念四个二十加十六啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！

法国人数学好得不得了 有木有！！！！！！！！！

一百以内加减法老子不用计算器 直接念出来了啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

电话号码两个两个念啊！！！！！！！！！！！！

176988472怎么念！！！！！！

不念腰七六九八八四七二 啊！！！！！！！！！！

念一百加六十加十**个二十加十八 再四个二十加四 再六十加十二啊！！！！！！！！！！！

你们还找美眉要电话啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！

电话报完一集葫芦娃都看完了啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

所有名词都分男女啊！！！！！！！！！！！

胡子是女的啊！！！！！！！！！！

头发是男的 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！

钥匙和锁都是女的啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！

法国人开门的时候 多么活色生香啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！

我以后再也不能睡在床上了啊！！！！！！！！！！

因为床是男的啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

赤果果的搅基 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

所有词的性别都要记啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

因为男的女的冠词不一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！

形容词也不 一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

各种不一样啊 不一样！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

每个动词每个时态有六种变位 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

法语一共尼玛23种时态啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

都要背啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

考试要考啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

全考没学过 不规律的啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

坑爹啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

当老子是谷歌翻译啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

介 词一坨一坨的啊 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

光表示方位的你就伤不起啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

到达和出发用的不一样 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

城市和国家用的不一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

男国家女国家其他国家用的都不一样 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

男大陆女大陆用的也不一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

男州女州其他州用的更不一样 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

元音词开头非元音词开头用的全部都不一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

还有各种岛 省 地区尼玛各种不一样啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

人称代词也是琳琅满目 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

主语有六种有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

直接宾语有六种有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

间接宾语有六种有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

介词宾语有六种有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

反称代词有六种有木 有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

放到句子里各种排序一二三四五六七有木有 有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！以下省略三千字有木有！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

总之学法语的上辈纸都是吐着浓痰满口男性女性讲一句话要翻10次词典的天使啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

[Kelby]

It was one summer night in Qingdao. I had gotten on an incredibly crowded bus to head back to my dorm from the mall. Because it was so crowded, I did what everyone else was doing and hopped on in the back. Naturally, I hadn't paid fare but planned on giving the ticket-taker some money when they came around.

As I was standing in an incredibly visible spot by the stairs, I heard a girl loudly going on and on about 外国人, IE., me. I tried to listen to what she was saying, but couldn't hear it clearly. She also happened to be drawing a lot of attention to me, and more people than usual were staring at me.

Eventually I heard 外国人。。。买。。。票. and assumed that she was chastising me for not paying for the bus ride I was taking. I had seen other people passing up 1元 bills, and so I did the same.

Everyone burst out laughing, and the girl promptly stopped talking.

Not long after, the bus cleared out, and a businessman who could speak English asked me if I understood the situation. As it turns out, the girl was going on and on about how the rich westerner should pay for everyone's fare. To everyone on the bus, I seemed to have understood what she said and passed up the 1元 fare to her to shut her up.

Turns out everyone laughed not because they thought I didn't understand, but because they thought I understood fully.

[Herberbt]

I was borrowing a bike from a chinese teacher at my language school in Guilin, China. She was happy to lend me the bike, but in the process of asking if she also had a helmet (安全帽）that she could lend me as well, I unknowingly asked if she had a condom (安全头） I could borrow. She gave me a very akward look, but understood what I was really trying to ask. I was informed later of my mistake and was embarassed as ever.

[Ednorog]

I remember jokingly trying once to convince one of my Chinese teachers that she should let me do something - I don't remember what - because I'm an 'insider'. However, the word 自己人 somehow escaped me back then, and I said 我是内人。 instead.

That was also the exact moment I learned that 内人 means 'wife' (I'm male, btw). Wouldn't say it was that embarrassing, but my teacher did enjoy a good laugh at my expense.

[Rufus]

I had been in China for just a couple of months and I was trying to tell somebody that my wife makes wonderful food. Without my full grasp of the language, I said "我的太太好吃" ( wo de tai tai hao chi). She is pretty tasty, but that's not what I was trying to say. 

[fas_et_nefas]

Great thread, I'm happy to contribute to both the laughter and through it the learning process.

 

One thing that still pains me now thinking back is how a simple typo while distracted changed the meaning of what I wanted to say totally, in a more than delicate situation. Some time ago the mother of a Taiwanese friend of mine passed away rather suddenly. As I knew her and also the extended family I was somehow aware of what was happening in preparation of the funeral and I also had the chance to gain insights into a part of Taiwanese/Chinese culture that is not so readily available to foreigners. I learned a lot about Taiwanese mourning rituals and 'numerological' intricacies (or superstitions). One day, ahead of the actual funeral, the whole family gathered again for another ceremony. Uncertain about the actual schedule I wrote a text to my friend asking her: '你們什麼時候去死?' instead of '你們什麼時候去寺?'. In this situation that was probably the most horrible typo I could have made and the most inappropriate thing I could have said. My friend didn't take any offense, but I still feel very bad thinking about it. To avoid this kind of typo, I have ever since referred to all kinds of temples as 廟, even though I think 廟 is not really a neutral term for all kind of religious temples (if anybody knows about this, please explain - and what about 宮 in this respect?)

 

I also seem to have a knack for saying things with sexual connotations.For quite a while I said '你們有沒有關係?' when I wanted to know whether two people were friends, until someone told me that this phrase as it is often has a sexual connotation. Similarly, I more often told people that my former flatmate was 很亂, effectively telling them that she is frequently changing her sexual partners, when I only wanted to complain that she was very messy.

[Marguerite]

Nothing too bad so far, luckily. My teacher was writing on the whiteboard, but the pen ran out of ink. I was trying to say as much, but didn't remember the word for 'ink'. I thought it was "笔水。" One, it isn't. Two, I actually said "没有鼻水。" I suppose at least it wasn't a refillable pen, where I might have tried to offer her some of my 鼻水!

[ChTTay]

I said 水果头 instead of 睡过头 but luckily (or unluckily) only to my girlfriend.

I also tried to order 耳朵 instead of 木耳 one time. It wasn't as bad as it coukd have been as I realized what I'd said a split second after I said and corrected myself. The waitress barely cracked a smile to be honest!

[Ruben von Zwack]

I really like this sweetened Chinese milk tea. Naturally, when I was in China recently, I bought it every other day.

And all my holiday through, I was having this conversation:

 

"Hello, one bottle of milk tea please"

"what?"

"um, milk? tea?"

"sorry, what is it you want?"

"a milk tea. M.I.L.K.  t.e.a. mmmilk teeea." 

"What sort of tea?"

"that bottle over there, next to the green tea, please."

"oh okay." (hands me milk tea)

 

First I suspected, maybe milk tea isn't called milk tea in Chinese. But it says so on the bottle! So I kept asking for it. Only today, in hindsight, it hit me that, all the time, I had been asking for 牛茶 niú chá    and not 奶茶 nǎi chá