most embarrassing moment while learning Chinese

[anonymoose]

I guess you had to be there.

[歐博思]

徐徐 <-----> 噓噓

[Angelina]

－你没吃完？

－我吃完了。

－这个呢？(points at the shrimps I had left on the plate)

－我不要杀。

－虾！！！

－杀！

－虾！！！

－我不要杀生。

[eshton]

I learned chinese while living in Shanghai. On my first trip to Yuyuan Gardens, I was browsing in a store when I saw a screwdriver set that I had to have.. The cashier in perfect shanghainese said 四块钱。Pretty cheap huh, I take out a 5 Yuan note, hand it to her and start heading to the exit. I manage to get to the door before a guy stops me and starts jabbering something. I'm pretty sure I paid so I mime that I took money from my wallet and gave the cashier. The cashier kept on saying 四块，四块, and I'm saying yes, yes 四块。 “不不不不， 四块”，“对四块”。 We kept at it for 5 minutes until she mimes out her 10 fingers to show she meant 十块，at which point I pay the remainder. 

[ZhuFei]

This one stands out:

 

Early attempt at speaking to a friend's grandmother:

Friend: "...ask her "你有几个猫？“"

My attempt to grandma: "你有几个猫？"

Grandma heard: "你有鸡巴吗？“

Laughs and corrections follow..

[ZhuFei]

#241 @roddy

 

Eleven is a cool name though...

[Demonic_Duck]

You sure she didn't mishear it as “你有鸡巴毛”?

 

Edit: on that note, I always worry that people will misunderstand me when suggesting what to order if I suggest something like 三杯鸡...

 

“再点一个三杯鸡吧……”

 

（三杯鸡巴）

[歐博思]

I was out having lunch with a female friend a few years back when she suggested the 口水雞吧 

[ZhuFei]

哈哈

[Demonic_Duck]

Ah yeah, “口水鸡” is a dangerous one too.

 

Don't worry though, only people with dirty minds will hear it that way.

[歐博思]

嘿嘿嘿

[roddy]

Might not qualify as embarrassing as it went unnoticed except by me, but I was talking this morning to a Chinese guy. "Call me John," he said. "It's not my actual name, but that's too hard for people here to say."

 

We'll see about that, I thought. I asked him his 'actual name' and repeated it back to him as best I was able...

 

"Yeah... you guys just don't have the consonants..."

[somethingfunny]

Ouch.  Names are always pot-luck for me, if you get an easy one you're set, something you've never heard of before and it might get a bit uncomfortable.

 

One of my most embarrassing times was when I was having lunch in a small restaurant and this girl I liked walked in and started chatting to me, and then, out of nowhere, asks me:

 

"吃晚饭去哪里?"

 

I was pretty surprised (and excited) she was asking me out for dinner,  until, after much confusion, I realised she was asking:

 

"吃完饭去哪里?"

 

Damn.

 

(Me: "回家")

[Aiden5]

Was chatting with a friend on QQ when I started to feel "homesick". I told her how I miss China. I then continued and said the phrase 我想你. She sent a blushing emoticon and then continued to say how boys don't usually say that to girls in Chinese unless they like them. :oops

 

[evn108]

Just registered here, so I guess I'll share.

 

The moment that haunts me still was after I had just done a very athletic performance and was sweaty and exhausted. Someone asked me how I felt, and I meant to say something like 喘不过气 (I'm out of breath), but instead it came out more like 快要断气了(I am going to die soon). The worst part--this was during an interview for a local tv station (long story). My friend insisted that it was hilarious, but I was (and remain, many years later) totally mortified with embarrassment because of this.

[Talapark]

I learned Japanese before I learned Chinese. So my most embarrassing would be mixing up Japanese and Chinese

-Wo Jiao Lindsey Desu

-Saying 'Hai" instead of 'Shi' for affirmation

-saying 'sou desu' to show I understood something.

-saying 'nani' instead of 'shenme'

[tallcity]

it is meant more as a satirical use, in making fun of Communist party.

the connotation is Comrade, which is why you hear it at official functions.

[Glyn]

My most embarassing moment while learning Chinese - tones matter.

 

I was speaking to a Chinese colleague (who, fortunately, was a woman and I'm a man). I was trying to say "如果握有一个问题，我可以问你。"  (If I have a question, I can ask you.), but I accidentally misprounounced 问 wen1 and said 吻 - wen3 - to kiss.

 

Fortunately, she had a sense of humour and after laughing she told me what I did. Since then she and I became very good friends.

[歐博思]

^maybe you can 问她 a few more 问题 and later that night wen her some more

[麦智凯]

Once I was speaking with a Taiwanese friend and she mentioned she wanted an American 口音. So, I tried to imitate her sentence and say that I wanted to have a Taiwanese accent, but I accidentally used the wrong tone and said that I wanted to have Taiwanese 口淫...

Fortunately, we had known each other a bit before that, so she understood the mistake and we laughed it off.