I love Chinese Ayis!

[杰.克]

I just wanted to put down, my deep deep admiration and love for Chinese women aged roughly around 50-65. I have met so many women in this age group that have all been fantastic human beings and I want to share it and see if others agree.

 

1) I find them to be really upbeat - My assumption is because they have had it had hard when they were first born and growing up - but have seen continual improvements. They utterly value what life gives them, as they where born in very difficult times (culture revolution)  but not necessarily completely scarred by it. This ability to think back to times gone by, gives a sweetness to them, that everything now is fantastic

2) They are both clever and incredibly hard working (much more so than their husbands) - My assumption is this is a mix of a really highly aspirational society, that had demands on daughters that they do well in studies and at university.BUT also still the traditional expectations that they cook and clean for their husbands.

3) They are loving, but in a mellow fashion (not tiger mumish) My assumption being they have most likely had a family by this point, with the child growing up and flying the nest. This experience has made them understand young people, but also allowed them to mellow out. They realise that maybe they were a bit too hard on their children, and now are a bit softer to people of a similarish age.

4) They are open minded and talkative- I feel like they have experienced alot, the gammit of human experiences, both good and bad. They know good times, and they know bad times, and they know no-one/society is perfect. They have learnt to role with the punches and become kinder for it. They are happy to listen to your life and share their own.

5) They are a bit like diamonds, have gone through pressure to become stunning - I honestly feel that for this generation, their life circumstance have been difficult. Growing up as a woman in China, in that generation,  i think is much much much harder than the men. They have had to work, become educated, and do all the house chores, and raise the children. Whereas the men , typically , are much lazier, they smoke, drink, and play with their friends. When they argue with their husbands they have to demure to his demands, because Confucius

6) They make amazing food for you and are great cooks - no explanation needed for this one, everyone loves ayis food!

 

These of course are generalisations, there will be Chinese women of this age range that aren't like this. Maybe the ayis I have met just tend to be exceptional. What are your thoughts?

 

 

[889]

Ever notice how the patterns on women's clothes become smaller with age in China? You could probably tell your friend's age simply by looking at the pattern on her clothes.

[道艺]

I couldn't agree more but a lot of those characteristics change towards someone in the family. as an outsider there's no expectations.

[abcdefg]

 

On 11/12/2021 at 11:45 AM, 杰.克 said:

These of course are generalisations, there will be Chinese women of this age range that aren't like this. Maybe the ayis I have met just tend to be exceptional. What are your thoughts?

 

As a single guy living in China, I have been temporarily "sort of adopted" quite a few times by these middle-aged and elderly ladies. Seeing a foreigner such as myself bumbling around seems to bring out their motherly instinct. 

 

Sometimes I've been protected by one or two of them. An example would be when someone in the vegetable market tries to overcharge me. The old lady (a complete stranger) might silently pull me by the sleeve to get me to move on and not buy from that vendor. When out of earshot, she would explain I should only pay 5 Yuan per kilo instead of the 10 that I had been ready to hand over. 

 

Sometimes I've been gently scolded for stupid behavior. Once in a supermarket I was buying chicken wings that were on ice in a large pile. An elderly woman who was also buying some looked at me hard and critically for a half a minute as I was filling my bag. Then she said sternly, "不，不， 不。你在干什么？" ("No, no, no. What are you doing"?) She roughly grabbed the plastic bag from my hands and emptied the wings I had selected back onto the pile. Then she took the tongs and began digging out new ones from the bottom of the pile that were still fully frozen. She tersely explained that those were safer than the ones on top which had already defrosted. "Do you know how long those have been thawed? No." 

 

It helped that I had previously learned some words for "defrost"  and "thaw" from doing maintenance on my ancient refrigerator when it iced up. 溶化, 除霜，等等。

 

Must say, though, I have had very positive experiences with the older men as well, not only the ladies. One Saturday morning in a small park I stopped to admire some old guys doing water calligraphy with large brushes on the smooth paving stones in the sun. Three or four of them were having an informal competition. I struggled to read one of the phrases, which turned out to be part of a classical poem. The guy who had written it walked over and began to read it out loud for me, pointing to each character as he said it.

 

One word still was not clear to my ear. So we had a session of "Do you mean this character?" while finger-writing them on our palms. Finally I understood. He urged me to try copying one of the poems onto the stones with the big brush. I tried, but was awful at it. Still, the process was lots of fun. And the friendly interaction was memorable.