About online dating, from Asiandate or ChinaLove/Zendate

[Josh_Humb]

This is my first time posting a topic right here in this forum, but I need your help from everyone.

 

I'm very confused about these kind of dating, and I want to know if I can trust.

Some months Ive been in touch with one female member of this website, but, how could I know she is using me as entertainment?

there is a genuine feeling and intention after months of talking, it looks like something is happening with her.

How can I know chinese women are interested in men from America? for example

[Lu]

If you're paying the website to message her, the website is scamming you. There are websites that work like that, and the women there are just making a living by messaging with men and are not actually interested in dating you.

If she's asking you for money (for a sick relative, her studies, anything) she is probably scamming you.

If she doesn't know any English, she might still be sincere, but it's unlikely that it will end with you two living happily ever after. If she is much younger than you, same.

 

Some Chinese women are interested in dating foreign men. They are a small minority of Chinese women, but since there are a lot of Chinese women, the group interested in foreign men is fairly large. And then there are Chinese women who are not necessarily looking for a foreign men, but just happen to fall in love with one. So it's possible that this woman is sincere. You wouldn't be the first American man marrying a Chinese woman.

 

The best would be if you could make a plan to visit her in China. If she is enthousiastic about such a plan, that might mean she is sincere, though it is no guarantee. And once you're there, you can see how you two feel about each other. Problem is that it's rather impossible to go to China at the moment.

 

Or you could consider looking for a girlfriend closer to home. That would make things much, much easier.

[Josh_Humb]

Thanks, I appreciate your time answering me doubts,

 

It was my first time about online dating. I was very focused on her.

I really don't know how is China lately, after its politics and any thing to travel,

so, that's why Im actually confused and I want to know it's okay continuing with this.

Let's suppose everything is real and true. What is most probable, me going to her country or for her to come to my country?

 

 

[Lu]

You need to look into the visa requirements. Normally, I'd advise you to visit her first, because usually it's easier for an American to get a visa for China than for a Chinese person to get a visa for the US. But at the moment, China is still pretty much closed because of covid measures. You need to keep an eye on the news on tourist visa for China, and at the same time you can look into how you can get the lady in China a visa for the US. Then, pick whichever is easier and cheaper. I'd advise against paying her ticket or visa. Also, do not become her guarantor (or whatever it's called). Keep in mind you don't actually know this woman.

 

Make sure to talk about this whole story with any level-headed friends or family, and if they have concerns, listen. There are plenty of foreign men who live happily ever after with a Chinese woman, but there are also many foreign men who get duped and scammed out of a lot of money.

[abcdefg]

On 3/10/2023 at 11:41 AM, Josh_Humb said:

What is most probable, me going to her country or for her to come to my country?

 

 

What is your country? Which dating website are you using?

 

This article gives a summary of some common internet romance scams. (I am not implying or suggesting that your young lady is a scammer.) https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2023/02/romance-scammers-favorite-lies-exposed 

 

I met an American guy in Kunming who married a Chinese woman who he had met on one of these international dating sites. He was late 40's and overweight; not rich. Nice enough guy, but not the traditional stereotype of a "great catch." Both the guy and the lady had previously been married. The lady was a teacher, late 30's, intelligent and nurturing. They seemed pleased with the relationship and with each other. He had moved to Kunming to be with her. He and I went to the same gym, which is how we met.

 

At the start of Covid, they, the 3 of them, (the American man, his Chinese wife and wife's daughter from a previous marriage) moved to the US. After that, we lost touch. 

 

 

 

 

[Josh_Humb]

Thanks for helping me.

 

 

As you can see, my english is not very well, Im from Mexico

I was using before ChinaLove/Zendate and I met someone there, but after a while, I had some doubts about Chinese women, 

and now I'm here, figuring out things.

I read the post that you shared me, and at least I can say she didnt scam me, or I think so, apparently.

The problem is that services are expensive, and I think it's a way to be scammed, 

I really dont know what to think, that's why I'm here. 

 

[Lu]

On 3/12/2023 at 4:44 PM, Josh_Humb said:

The problem is that services are expensive, and I think it's a way to be scammed,

If you meet someone on a dating site, ask for their email address or phone number, so you can talk outside the dating site. If the person only wants to communicate on the dating site, and you have to pay money to use the site, then the site is scamming you and the person is probably not interested in dating you.

[Xiao Kui]

the Chinese dating scam industry is so huge that Chinese themselves are constantly being tricked.  I love to watch Chinese true crime and a good number of the shows are about Chinese who meet someone online, who starts out as a love interest but eventually scams them out of money by getting them to "invest" in something.  Don't be discouraged, you can definitely find a real Chinese girlfriend, but just be careful!

[abcdefg]

I've watched those shows too while living there. Some of the scams are very elaborate. I forget the details, but I remember many "wrap-up scenes" shot in the back of a car, reporter holding the camera, and a young woman or young man breaking down in tears about how it all went wrong. 

 

I never tried using any of those dating or hook-up websites. Too scary. 

 

 

[Erbse]

I'd stay away from sites that charge money for every small thing you do. Where you pay for every message. It's stupid, get the hell out if that.

It's fine to pay like a monthly fee, and then you can use the site completely. Fair.

[Lu]

On 3/17/2023 at 4:31 PM, Xiao Kui said:

Don't be discouraged, you can definitely find a real Chinese girlfriend, but just be careful!

Better yet, look for a girlfriend nearby. It is so much easier in so many ways. Financially, socially, in language, in culture, in career, in family... Look for someone nearby, in your own city or region.

 

If someone goes to China (or any faraway country) and happens to fall in love, I totally support that and I wish them all the best. I've dated intercontinentally in the past myself. You meet a person and that person makes all the difficulties worthwhile. But if you haven't even met the person yet, it's not the best idea to go looking for someone who brings along all those difficulties.

[Josh_Humb]

Thanks everyone for your attention.

 

I just wanted to try a new kind of dating, but I'm going to take your opinion.