A little sad to say but anyone looking to make some friends?

[DaniDani]

I moved to Beijing some months ago from Dalian where I attended university. Now I'm in Beijing as a master's student but doing courses online. At the moment I literally have no friends? And I'm not sure how to meet any actualy. I don't interact with my classmates because we're all in different locations and only 'meet' one or two times a week in a tencent meeting call where everyone is silent except for the teacher. I'm not working (and I don't want to be in an office really) so I can't meet anyone through that either. I'm a bit of an introvert but it would be nice to have someone to talk to or meet up with every now and then.

[Lu]

Do you like exercise? There used to be several foreigners' sports teams (although I have no idea if they still exist/sprung up again). They'd be featured in the Beijinger. There also used to be a dragonboat team which I would heartily recommend (a really friendly mix of Chinese and foreigners) if I had any idea if they still exist and if so, how to reach them.

 

I hope you find some friends! You're perfectly fit to have them and that you don't have them right now is not because of you, just because of your situation.

[Jan Finster]

The best way to make friends is to do activities you like that do not involve sitting at home.

 

For example:

Cycling? Join a cycling group

Pub quizzes? Attend some

Public speaking? Attend local Toastmaster groups

Climbing? Do to climbing gyms

Underwater polo: join them

 

 

[suMMit]

I live in BJ, pm me if you'd like to grab a beer sometime

[mouse]

I don't know if you're studying the language, but I made a few friends doing language exchanges. Obviously it can be a bit hit or miss, but if you can meet ordinary people rather than students (nothing against students, but in my experience they tended to not have much of a life outside studies) then you might meet someone you get along with.

[laoyumi]

I‘m in Beijing also.

[nicklinjm]

I also moved to Beijing (from HK) earlier this year and agree it is a bit difficult to meet people in this huge city, can feel quite anonymous. The thing that worked for me is the "FUN Beijing" Wechat group which has a lot of events at least every week. The organiser, Jamie, is a cool person and hosts social networking events at least once a month. Can PM me for details if you're interested.

[DaniDani]

@LuI'm not a big fan of exercises. I like more quiet and chill activities. As I'd mentioned before it's mainly just to have someone to chat with (who actually lives in China) and once in a while meet up to eat or watch a movie or something. 

 

@Jan Finster I think it's rather unfortunate that my preferred activities are better enjoyed alone or a small group so I'm not sure if there are any clubs. For example I like to read manhwa and romance novels, not sure if there's some sort of book club for that sort of stuff available.

 

@mouse I learned the language in school so I'm pretty good at it. Not sure if I could still do a language exchange.

 

@nicklinjm I found a wechat page for FUN Beijing, how would I joint the group?

[nicklinjm]

For the FUN Beijing group I think you have to contact the organiser (Jamie) to be added. PM me if you'd like her Wechat username.

[abcdefg]

On 5/11/2023 at 8:56 PM, DaniDani said:

I'm a bit of an introvert but it would be nice to have someone to talk to or meet up with every now and then.

 

Sounds like a serious problem. The process of making friends, or at least casual acquaintances, is the same the world over. Understanding and correcting this inability to socialize goes beyond the scope of an internet forum. 

 

How have you coped with this issue in the past, perhaps during better days? The reason for asking is that perhaps you can now apply some of the same approaches that worked for you in other settings. 

 

Social isolation is a painful condition. I sincerely hope you find a way forward. 

[Lu]

On 8/30/2023 at 3:07 PM, abcdefg said:

How have you coped with this issue in the past, perhaps during better days?

Not to speak for the OP, but they mentioned moving cities for university and then having online classes only. A common way to make new friends is by regularly meeting the same people through a shared activity: classes, or work, or a hobby group. A good way to make old friends is by just keeping the new friends over the years, until they turn into old friends. But if one moves cities, one has no old friends there, and if there is no group of people that meets for a shared activity, it's really hard to make new ones. And then you have none. Not because you don't know how to make them, but because circumstances made it really hard.

 

So I hope OP finds some nice people soon, and hopefully some of them can become friends.

[DaniDani]

On 8/30/2023 at 6:07 AM, abcdefg said:

Social isolation is a painful condition. I sincerely hope you find a way forward. 

I wouldn't say I have an inability to socialize. Making friends has been a relaxed thing for me where I meet someone and talk to them and then almost immediately I can tell if we will get a long well or not. I'm 90% correct by my initial feeling on the person. I can't even pinpoint what exactly about the person makes me feel we could be friends but it works. The people I've had that instant feeling with are people I stay friends with long term. In the past as a student at school, meeting other students (not necessarily by choice) I had to interact with people and that's how I made friends. Unfortunately the friends I made in China in the past have returned their own countries and my most recent Beijing friend is a workaholic (no offense to people who love their jobs) so she's often too busy but its fun whenever we meet at random events.

 

On 8/30/2023 at 1:17 PM, Lu said:

So I hope OP finds some nice people soon, and hopefully some of them can become friends.

Thank you! That is the situation at the moment. Because I did my master's while online I never had the chance to be on campus and interact with other students (whether that be direct classmates or just other students on campus).

 

I'm limited in who I can speak to as I only have my specific classmates in the specific class wechat groups. So I came here as another way to try to connect with people in Beijing, student or otherwise. Perhaps someone else would be in a similar situation and looking for friends as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with me being an introvert and compared to my extrovert partner, I find that I've made more genuine friendships while the ones he made, although plentiful, were more surface level 'let's only chat when we want to party or drink' (not that there's anything wrong with those friendships either but they're not for me).