Grammar check help!

[midnightbutterfly]

Hello! I have a final exam in my Chinese class and I need to present a speech. If anyone could grammar check what I have written I would really appreciate it! Thank you! (also if anyone has any ideas of what to add that would be great)

 

 

大家好，  今天我會談談我打工經驗。去年我想找到打工為了賺一點錢。既然我是法律學生，我就想在律師樓工作。

 

倒是你是學生的時後，可難找到辦公室的打工！我正要放棄，然後我的朋友這就打電話給我，他說《這家餐廳找到服務員！》我非常興奮！

 

從我的第一天工作起，先我的老闆介紹一下我的同事，等客戶來餐廳，再我请他们点菜。

 

我還不到一個星期打工，已經我打破了五個盤子了。我真是笨手笨腳！

老闆罵我，再加上他拿我的小費！服務員各賺各的小費！他小氣得沒話說！

 

早知道老闆的個性不好，我就沒去打工這裡。動不動就我被老闆叫我走路了。

 

就是我不打破那麼多盤子，我也覺得我是不好的服務生。。。

 

我多少學了一點，我不該做服務生！

 

谢谢大家！

 

[Moshen]

I am wondering whether it is ethical to request this kind of help on a final exam. In my opinion as a former college professor, it generally is not.

Normally a final exam is designed to assess the student's competence, not that of any helpers the student ropes in.

Of course, if your university's honor code allows this, then you can ignore the above considerations..

[honglam]

Regardless of those ethical problems, I do think you should go through the grammar of your passage again.

Well... It's quite hard to give any specific grammatical advice on your writing since approximately every sentence has this or that grammatical problems. I think you'd better go through your grammar book first to review the correct order of phrasal component(especially adverbials) in Mandarin. And many words sound strange in this context. I don't mean to be so harsh but currently this passage gives me a sense that your competence of grammar and vocabulary don't really match.

[Lu]

I don't disagree with Honglam, but I do think this is a good effort. I can see you use all kinds of grammar points and set phrases in this piece, most of them correctly. Also I can tell you wrote this yourself (no automatic text generator).

 

I'm not going to correct the whole thing, just a few notes:

打工 is usually used for manual work, in a factory and such. I'd use 工作. 我找了一份工作。

已經我打破了五個盤子了。 => 我已經打破了五個盤子了。 Note placement of 已經. Same for 再我请他们点菜 => 我再请他们点菜。

動不動就我被老闆叫我走路了。 I don't understand this sentence, best rewrite it.

 

I'm going to leave the rest to your teacher. Good luck, and I hope you continue studying Chinese!

[honglam]

On 11/28/2024 at 4:56 PM, Lu said:

動不動就我被老闆叫我走路了。 I don't understand this sentence, best rewrite it.

I think it could means "my boss always threated to fire me", but I'm not convinced.

On 11/28/2024 at 4:56 PM, Lu said:

but I do think this is a good effort.

Yes. Generally it's comprehensible, that's good. Yet too many people make mistakes on word order. I think it's a really important part to review this part since it seems to be the most "typical" grammatical mistake I've ever seen.