Speech for School.

[Etwood]

Hi there,

Im a 17 year old guy living in New Zealand and I have been learning Chinese for nearly four years. I am taking Chinese as a subject this year at school and one of our assessments is to deliver a speech in Chinese. It has to be more than two minutes long and I have to talk about a specified topic. In this case, the topic is on leisure activities people do in New Zealand, leisure activities I would like to do personally and some other issues to do with leisure activities in New Zealand. I have written my first draft, and I know there are quite a few errors in it, but as it is now the school holidays over here, I can't really get my teacher to check it, so I would really appreciate any feedback at all on it so I can get onto my next draft. Any advice is welcomed.

大家好。我叫Evan。今天我想说说新西兰的休闲活动。因为新西兰有很多空间，天气常常很好，所以人们很喜欢座户外活动。新西兰的最受欢迎户外活动是运动，比如说橄榄球，板球和开帆船。新西兰也有很多特别的户外活动，包括蹦极跳，泛舟，在罗托鲁瓦(Rotorua)做Zorbing. 这些活动都是极端体育。新西兰人的冬天人们喜欢去滑雪胜地滑雪和滑雪板。虽然去滑雪很贵，可是我很喜欢滑雪，因为我喜欢山上一边滑雪，一边看风景。新西兰的风景非常漂亮，所以很多外国人喜欢来新西兰旅行和做极端体育。如果我有很多钱，我想去新西兰的南岛坐直升机看新西兰的风景。我建议外国人不应该在城市里只住。他们应该在新西兰里旅行观光，和做不少休闲活动。这样，我觉得外国人能学习新西兰喜欢的休闲活动和文化。在我看来，新西兰的生活方式很松懈，所以人们不但喜欢夏天的运动，而且很喜欢去海边烤肉，游泳和冲浪。新西兰人比较有空，所以他们喜欢花时间做休闲活动。他们特别喜欢做运动锻炼身体，因为大部分新西兰的人口很健康。虽然新西兰人花很多时间做休闲活动，可是现代人们没有以前的时间，因为他们不是做休闲活动，就是一定要上班。

所以说，新西兰人很喜欢做各样格式的休闲活动，有的是户外，有的是室内，但是大部分是户外活动。我认为这是因为新西兰人注意他们的健康。因为冬天快来了，所以我觉得新西兰人会做多室内活动。

这就是我的演讲。谢谢你们。

Thanks a lot,

Etwood

[sissi]

大家好，我叫Evan。今天我想说说新西兰的休闲活动。因为新西兰有很多空间（空地比较多），天气（也）常常很好，所以人们很喜欢座（做）户外活动。新西兰的（这里）最受欢迎（的）户外活动是运动，比如说橄榄球、板球和开帆船。（此外，）新西兰也有很多特别的户外活动，包括（比如）蹦极跳、泛舟和在罗托鲁瓦(Rotorua)做Zorbing. 这些活动都是极端体育。新西兰人的（删去蓝色部分）冬天，人们喜欢去滑雪胜地滑雪和滑雪板。虽然去滑雪很贵，可是我很喜欢滑雪，因为我喜欢（在）山上一边滑雪，一边看风景。新西兰的风景非常漂亮，所以很多外国人喜欢来新西兰旅行和做极端体育。如果我有很多钱，我想去新西兰的南岛坐直升机看新西兰的风景。我建议（觉得）外国人不应该（只）在城市里住。他们应该在（到处）旅行观光，做休闲活动。这样，我觉得外国人能学习新西兰人喜欢的休闲活动和文化。在我看来，新西兰的生活方式很松懈。夏天，人们不但喜欢运动，而且还喜欢去海边烤肉游泳和冲浪（I think the words in blue should be deleted,for they are sports too.）。新西兰人比较有空，所以他们喜欢花时间做休闲活动。他们特别（尤其）喜欢做运动锻炼身体，因为(所以)大部分新西兰人很健康。可是现在人们没有以前有时间了，因为要上班的缘故。新西兰人很喜欢做各样格式的休闲活动，有的是户外，有的是室内，但是大部分是户外活动。我认为这是因为新西兰人注意他们的健康。因为冬天快来了，所以我觉得新西兰人会做多室内活动。

这就是我的演讲。谢谢你们。

I only amend what must be modified.Maybe there are some words , phrases or sentences unnatural in your presantation.But they are ok,and to be honest,it's very good.You have expressed youself

[Etwood]

Wow, thank you sissi for the quick response. I can see where I went wrong and thank you so much for the corrections and suggestions. I will make those changes to my speech.

Thanks again!

[lostinspace]

你好,

Let me guess, this is an NCEA 2 level speech! Looks a lot better written than my old one:

今年十一月二日， 我们家要去中国旅行.

上午飞机从 jiducheng 机场起飞， 晚上抵达新加坡。

在新加坡机场，我们打算在银行美币兑换成人民币。

然后再从新加坡飞往桂林。 在桂林， 我们会停留一星期。

如果天气晴， 我们上午打算走路从旅馆到市中心. etc etc [the structures used are rather mechanical]

btw I wrote this back in '04 and got merit...

Last year I did the Level 3 papers + Scholarship, what I wrote down grammatically seemed ok but I guess the markers were marking each section as a whole and they get quite picky about cohearancy, just like you would if you were writing an English essay. What do you think about the NCEA Chinese course?

你觉得这个NCEA汉语课是怎么样？

[Etwood]

Hello lostinspace,

Yep, this is a L2 speech for NCEA! I didn't realise the structures we had to use were required for the whole L2 internal assessment. I actually find the Chinese course quite good, but that could just be because my teacher is really good...she is thorough and always revises vocab/grammar with us, and gives us the list of stuctures/vocab we have to use in essays/speeches in order to get merit or excellence. However, I do think the things we learn are a bit basic at this stage. If you look at the Cambridge 6th form exam papers, they have you write essays on actual Chinese texts, like plays, novels etc. Having said that, I think the NCEA course does prepare you nicely for further study, and certainly helps with conversational topics.

Wow, I am impressed that you even attempted scholarship because I had a look at one of the past papers for Chinese, and man, the marking schedules are really strict! How did you do on it? Oh, and which school were you at? Because I don't know many schools that offer Chinese as a subject. I’m at Westlake Boys now (in Auckland), and they have offered Chinese from Form 3 since 2003.

[lostinspace]

Hi again,

Yeah, I have to agree that having a good Chinese teacher can make a big difference, and you can't beat a native speaker, providing they can explain grammar properly. Here in Christchurch (i'd prefer not to say what school), our teacher gave us all the grammar and structures but always told us to stick with what you know. Which i guess is ok, but you then go and try and read a newspaper in Chinese and can hardly understand it, furthermore a lot of them use traditional hanzi.

About the scholarship paper, i scored about 50-60% but NCEA doesn't work in percent so i don't know. I couldnt decifer the marking schedule i got in the mail. alot of it is based upon interpretation which i don't agree with -so in the end it really comes down to the marker, despite moderation....

[frankso]

这些活动都是极端体育 (极限体育）

新西兰的生活方式很松懈 （悠闲）

新西兰人比较有空 （空闲时间比较多)

新西兰人很喜欢做各样格式(各式各样)的休闲活动

我认为这是因为新西兰人注意（注重）他们的健康

[Evelyn]

My suggestion

大家好。我叫Evan。今天我想说说新西兰的休闲活动。因为新西兰有很多空间（很空旷），天气常常很好，所以人们（都）很喜欢座（做）户外活动。（在新西兰，）新西兰的最受欢迎（的）户外活动是运动，比如说橄榄球，板球和开（Delete开 ）帆船。新西兰也有（还有）很多特别的（特殊的or 别致的）户外活动，包括蹦极跳，泛舟（don’t know what this is ），在罗托鲁瓦(Rotorua)做Zorbing. 这些活动都是极端体育(极限运动)。（在）新西兰人（Delete 人）的冬天（，）人们喜欢去滑雪胜地滑雪和（玩）滑雪板。虽然去（Delete 去）滑雪很贵，可是（但）我很喜欢滑雪（Delete ），因为我喜欢（在）山上一边滑雪，一边看风景。新西兰的风景非常漂亮（美），所以很多外国人（游客）喜欢来新西兰（这）旅行和做极端体育(极限运动)。如果我有很多钱（的话），我想去新西兰的南岛，（在那里可以）坐直升机看新西兰的风景。我建议外国人（游客们）不应该在城市里只住（不要只在城市里住）,他们（Delete）应该在新西兰里旅行观光（到处走走），和做不少（多做一些）休闲活动。这样，我觉得外国人（才）能学习（到）新西兰喜欢的（新西兰式的）休闲活动和文化。在我看来，新西兰的生活方式很松懈（悠闲），所以（Delete）（夏天，）人们不但喜欢夏天的运动，而且很（Delete）喜欢去海边烤肉，游泳和冲浪。新西兰人比较有空（闲暇时间较多），所以他们（比较）喜欢花时间做休闲活动。他们特别喜欢做运动（来）锻炼身体，因为（因此）大部分新西兰的人口（Delete ＋都 ）很健康。虽然新西兰人花很多时间做休闲活动（Delete），可是现代人们（Delete）没有以前的（那么有）时间，因为他们不是做休闲活动，就是（Delete）一定要上班，（就不能够做休闲活动了）。所以说，新西兰人很喜欢做各样格式（各种）的休闲活动，（包括）有的是户外，有的是（和）室内，但是大部分是户外活动。我认为这是因为新西兰人注意（重）他们的健康。因为（Delete）冬天快来了，所以我觉得新西兰人会做多（增加一些or 多做一点）室内活动。

这就是我的演讲。谢谢你们。