1000 ways to open a beer

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A funny site about 1000 ways opening a beer (bottle) without a 'correct' opener.

http://stuff.twoday.net/

Below I give the version using a China (soup) bowl:

http://stuff.twoday.net/stories/1778473/

It's a German site and the English translation link only uses machine translation. But the pix are clear enough to see

Personally I've seen a friend of mine opening a beer bottle only with his teeth, knife or spoon.

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[DrinkDrankDrunk]

Did you create this thread just for me? Fascinating site, thanks for sharing. I actually have a bottle opener belt buckle. It's a great conversation piece.

Gotta love U.S. domestic beers; they're twist-offs.

[Ferno]

some people can open it with their eye socket

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some people can open it with their eye socket

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Yeah, someone mentioned it too, but there is not yet pix for that method in the 'Gästebeiträge' (suggestions from guests) there.

To open using chopsticks:

http://stuff.twoday.net/stories/337406/

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[chenpv]

Interesting website. So is it true that anything hard enough with a brim can be used to open beers? I just saw people open beers with their eye sockets in movies, could be a little dramatic to me though......

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So is it true that anything hard enough with a brim can be used to open beers?

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They even succeeded using newspaper which was folded hard enough.

http://stuff.twoday.net/stories/105293/#877794

[liuzhou]

Gotta love U.S. domestic beers; they're twist-offs.

But undrinkable!

[Lu]

Gotta love Croatian beers, they're twist-offs and they taste good!

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liuzhou

Quote DrinkDrankDrunk:

Gotta love U.S. domestic beers; they're twist-offs.

But undrinkable!

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Undrinkable? Hmmmmm, surely there are more prosaic ways of description .......

American beer is like making love in a canoe.

It's f*ckin' close to water.

- Monty Python

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

- David Moulton

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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I killed a six-pack just to watch it die.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. -Tom Waits

If you like my Bushes, you'll love my Mountains (On the front of a T-Shirt with bush beer)

Many people die of thirst - but the Irish are born with one.

One more and I'll be under the host - Dorothy Parker

Remember I before E, except in Budweiser.

Some people have six pack abdomens. I have a keg.

The best days to drink beer are days that end in the letter "Y".

There's too much blood in my alcohol system

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

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Drink! Drink! Drink! sung by Mario Lanza in 'The Student Prince' (1954)

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0047537/

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[liuzhou]

哈哈

BTW, whoever said "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" first, it certainly wasn't Tom Waits.

He said it during an scripted interview on May 25, 1978. I first came across the expression in the sleeve notes of "New Boots and Panties" by Ian Dury which was released the previous year.

The expression has been attributed to Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, among others.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

Oscar Wilde

[DrinkDrankDrunk]

liu zhou, need I remind you that you CHOSE to castrate your taste buds by moving to the land of tasteless beers? 青島 anyone? *patiently waits for liu zhou to take a swig of his baijo to let aforementioned point sink in*

As for American beers, it's all about microbrews.

[liuzhou]

Presumably the last third of your user name was the operational one when you wrote that.

[DrinkDrankDrunk]

LOL! I can neither confirm nor deny anything. However, I can affirm that the pogues' "irish rover" was involved.

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/F150?thread=3826

American Beer?

Post: 16

Posted Jul 2, 1999 by kalu

allright

i knew this would come up sooner or later (now that i am watching the forums that is)

YES, we admit that most of the larger American beers are pure piss, and i wouldnt drink one unless i was already mostly pissed and couldnt tell what the bottle/can said.

BUT, we do make some rather good beers as well, you just have to hunt for them. there are a lot of microbrews that do a decently good to great job of making high quality dark beer (most good beer is dark, uh oh, i may have started another thread). i had a monks hood imperial stout in Breckenridge, colorado, that was one of, if not THE, best beer i have ever had. and i have tasted the Guinness at St. James Gate (which is still i think a bit better).

my point?? well, i forgot, and the fact that it is time for the Simpsons where i live (a great tribute to beer, except i dont really ever want to taste a Duff), means it is time for me to go

ah, i remember now. before i leave for 30 min, i must say that my staple now that i am back in the States (spent 6 mo in England, btw, you make some shit beer too, dont make me start naming names, or remind you that Bud is an import there, and i have seen the kids pay more for a bottle of it than a pint of Guinness), anyway, my staple is Shiner Bock, a not too expensive, nice bock beer brewed in Shiner, Texas, which is near where i live, Austin, TX

there i feel better. now if i could find a place that has Caffreys and a nice cider on tap, i would be happy. the pub i go to (yes, i meant pub, thats what it is) only has a few good beers on tap, like Guinness, Boddingtons, and Bass to name a few

kalu

(for pronunciation, visit my page which i need badly to work on, but they dont like it when i do that at work)

for all you americans, happy 4th, lets drink some good beer and remember why we are celebrating it (you brits can remember too) winkeye

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/U48037

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A1422

Beer

This fizzy drink has been voted more popular than water in some parts of the world, as well as more useful. In fact, some people say that if water tasted like beer, they would drink more water. Not that they drink it for its flavour, but rather for what it does to their brain cells, i.e., kills them. This, they argue, is one of the many advantages beer has over water.

How one drinks it, and in what quantities, is more or less a case of cultural relativism. Americans take it in bottles or cans; the British take it in pints; the Germans take it in litres and so on. Of course, it makes no difference, as the final result is always the same, with lots of singing, lots of stumbling, lots of eating, lots of regurgitating and lots of sleeping, normally in that order.

There are, however, two disadvantages, in that the more beer one drinks, the more one wishes it tasted like water; and furthermore, the amount of beer drunk in an evening is in direct proportion to the amount water drunk the following morning. It is also the cause of terrible headaches and the abominable cotton mouth - fortunately there are a number of known hangover cures.

etc.

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